D is for Donut..

So, I was feeling kinda bad about not blogging recently. But I just didn't know what to write about. And then the RANDOMEST thing happened to me like five minutes ago. So here goes..

I don't know why but I have been craving a donut for like the last week. I can usually fight it off. Convince myself that maybe a banana, or something healthier than a warm, chocolatey bar of heaven would be just as satisfying. Nice try, Jame. So this morning the craving was too strong. I rolled out of bed, threw a sweater and some rainbows on, and was out the door. Didn't brush my teeth or my hair.. didn't even put a bra on. So clearly this would be the best time to meet a man. Right?? So I leave my house.. I didn't even shut my front door cause in my mind I'm thinking I'll be back in one minute. 

As I'm pulling up to the donut shop I see a man walking in. He kinda does a double take at me in the car but then continues to walk in the shop. Clearly its because I look like I got hit by a bus.. twice.. but I shrug it off. The donut is just too important to care. When I walk in the shop, he turns around and says to me, "What kinda of donut am I buying you this morning?" My response was "Seriously??" (I just want to clarify that I had to search my entire house for the dollar that I was going to use for the donut.. because since I quit my bartending job, I literally don't have a dollar to my name..) He then says, "Yeah, I'm buying today." I said, "Oh, its fine, I can buy my own donut." But really, I can't even buy my own donut.. In my mind I'm thinking, How sweet. I'm this guy's little charity project today. Feeding the homeless. Way to not brush your hair. Mom is going to be so pissed when she hears about this. So he buys me my donut and a chocolate milk. I went for the small one, and he demanded I replace it for the large. Seriously, how homeless do I look right now?? And then after I say thank you, he says to me, "So when am I taking you to dinner?" Seriously?! 

I was caught SO off guard, I was waiting for the shop worker to give me some sort of sign that this in fact is normal, and happens all the time. She gave me no such look. I couldn't stop laughing. For one cause its freaking hilarious how homeless I look, and two because is he seriously asking me out at a donut shop?! So I try to get going. I have no idea what the protocol is when a guy buys you a donut. I thought a polite "Thank you for your donation, it is, in fact, tax deductible" but the next thing I know I am sitting at an outside table chatting with this man. For like 45 minutes. During which he asked me to dinner like seven times, and each time I laughed it off. Does this seriously happen? I knew it was going to be a good day when I found the dollar that would buy me my donut, but this is something else. 

Now I'm sure you are all wondering, what the heck does this guy look like... and here's where I also tell you that old men LOVE me. Guys my age seriously don't notice me. I'm still trying to figure out how I met Duke, the hottie from the previous post, but that's beside the point right now. So DonutMan, his real name is Fred, but that's such a Grandpa name that DonutMan sounds so much better. Anyway, DonutMan, was an attractive guy probably in his mid-40's. He was pretty casually dressed. Shorts and flip flops, but I'm pretty sure he had brushed his teeth and hair prior to leaving the house. Not so sure if he was wearing a bra. Haha, lame joke. Anyway, I mentioned I work for a construction company and then he mentions how he just sold his solar power company... for oh, 8 million dollars. And then he proceeds to tell me all this crazy info about the Earth and how global warming is bogus. So I pretty much had breakfast with Bill Nye, the Science Guy. Except a more handsome version. It was amazing and I was really interested in what he had to say. And every so often I would remind myself that I still look homeless and haven't brushed my teeth. 

Seriously, so random! He asked me if I wanted another donut, and maybe that one we could eat back at my house where we would watch soap operas all day. I told him I wasn't the soap opera type, and if he would have said Food Network I would've given it another thought. But we wrapped things up. He asked for my number and I took his instead. He told me its not everyday you meet a hot girl at a donut shop. I said, maybe tomorrow will be his day, since clearly today was homeless thursday. And then he got into his convertible Jaguar, I got in my soccer mom SUV, and we parted ways. Even though I didn't get the creepy vibe from him, I took the long way home just in case he was following. 

Life sure is interesting. People come into your lives for various reasons. Maybe I met DonutMan to teach me crazy facts about the Earth which will later help me win millions on Jeapordy. Or maybe it was just to get a free donut. Either way, all I have to say is:

 "I got a dollar, I got a dollar, I got a dollar, hey hey hey heeyy..."