Aaagggghhhhhh!!

Well my friends, it happened. Skip kissed me! Eeeeeeek!!

And it was so out of the blue, I almost thought I was imagining it like some scene out of Ally McBeal... I literally pinched myself. And then I froze. Cause I wanted to explode and tell him how long I have been waiting for that to happen. And everything that I felt for him. But instead I said nothing. I sat there, and smiled. And said absolutely nothing. And then he reached for my hand under the blanket, and we sat there, like two little teeny boppers holding hands and watching a movie. My heart was literally beating out of my chest. And then he kissed me again, and again.. and again. Sigh...

Since it happened, I've been replaying it in my head a gajillion times. And I can't shake this grin. Or the millions of butterflies in my stomach. Or how amazing of a cuddler he is. But mostly, I can't get this certain song out of my head. And luckily, there is a perfect little video that best describes how I'm feeling..





I am in trouble.. Big time.

Road Soda

So friends, I have another one for ya. And I mean, honestly, I'm glad i am writing this stuff down. Because maybe I am supposed to use all this "research" for writing a book, or screenplay, or sitcom someday. Because I just can't explain it any other way.

So get cozy, maybe hit the potty beforehand, and settle in for this months juicy morsel of insanity.

Ladies, this is the story of Chaz:

I met Chaz right when I got back from Bali, so my skin was tan and my guard was down. I was at work, and as much as I hate meeting guys there, it happens. But how we met was pretty interesting in itself. Chaz walks up to me and starts complaining about how his whole table got cleared and they weren't finished. Conversation was as follows:

Chaz: Dude! Someone cleared all our drinks and they were totally full!

(I was the one who cleared the drinks, that were nowhere near full... and the table was empty. But I played dumb.. Clearly.)

Me: Dude! Really? That doesn't sound like something we would do.. we only clear tables that are empty and no one is sitting at.

Chaz: Well, we were in the bathroom!

M: We??

C: Yeah, me and my buddies.

M: I'm pretty sure that is the first time I have EVER heard of three men going to the bathroom together. But if you say so... talk to the bartender.

Then one of Chaz's friends comes walking up, pushes him out of the way, and I am preparing myself for another angry tirade about his lost beer. But instead I get:

Guy: Do you have a boyfriend?? Cause, oh the things I would do to you..

Me: Umm.. I'm sorry, WHAT?

And then Guy proceeded to run his mouth with all kinds of inappropriateness. I'll spare you all the details. I was shocked. And granted just coming back from a Sanity Break, was not prepared for these types of pigs. But I caught up real quick.

After he proceeded to tell me, "If you were my girl, we would neverrr leave the house. I'm talking 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.." I answered him with, "First off, I'm not a 'girl', I'm a lady. Secondly, umm.. I also have a brain. And I'm not some piece of meat. And third, THAT doesn't even sound like fun! I mean, all day, every day?? Really? When would I eat? Or sleep? I can't even go outside?? And what girls like that?? Really, who? All day?!? Please!"

All three of the guys were pretty much speechless after my little speech, but then I looked over at Chaz, and he seemed really embarrassed. I was curious what a surfer guy was doing with such a douche bag like that guy.. but that answer came much later. I don't know why I ended up giving Chaz my number that night. I think partly it was to be a lesson for his tool of a friend. And partly cause I thought he was cute, and thought it was cute that he asked me to grab a tea, or go for a hike sometime. So I gave him my number, not expecting anything to come from it.

Then he called. And called again. And told me, "I'm gonna keep bugging you until you call me back" in a charming, not creepy kind of way. So I called him. And when he answered, he didn't play the "your number is programmed in my phone but I'm going to act like I don't know who this is" game. He said, "Hey Jamie, how are you?" and I really liked that. And we ended up talking for like two hours.. about all kinds of stuff. And I was really surprised at how cool he was. And how nice he was. And the fact that he hadn't sent me a single text. Could it be?? A normal man!?

So, we had plans set to go hiking that next week. Then the rains came and we both got busy with life. Never ended up hanging out or talking on the phone again.. but those texts sure started appearing. Random ones asking me why we never hung out, as if it was my job to ask him out and plan a date. I know its 2010, but I'm old fashioned. I like to be treated like a lady.

Flash forward to present time.. I have seen Chaz once, and talked to him once. Both of those happened in September. So when he sends me a text asking to hang out, I'm trying to remember what he looked like, and what exactly we had in common.. but I say yes. We go meet at this cute little bar around the corner from my house. And I get kinda nervous. It almost felt like a blind date. Cause I really couldn't remember what the guy looked like! Then he walked in. And I was pleasantly surprised.

I mean, he was cute! Pretty eyes. Check! Nice teeth. Check! Age appropriate. Check! Makes me laugh. Check! Smart, cause he just got his masters and is going for his PhD. Check! Check! So what could go wrong??

Let's just say that him complaining about an almost-empty drink when I first met him, should have been my first sign. After sucking down his drink, he began complaining about the cost of said drink. And when the bartender asked him if he wanted another, he said, "yeah right.. I'd rather just go buy some booze at a liquor store and drink it in my car." Which then got us on another interesting topic for a first date: Drinking and Driving. He said, and I quote, "There is nothing wrong with a little road soda.." End quote.

Road soda?? Like there's an actual name for that sort of thing! O.M.G.. this is too good. This date was going so bad I almost didn't want to leave it. In fact, we ended up leaving the bar and sitting in his car to talk some more. I wanted to know just how bad this train was gonna wreck. And when he started burping and hiccuping I pretty much knew we had reached that point. Or was it when he peed in a bush. Or when asked what his future plans are, he said "I'm not really sure... what do I do with a Masters in Spanish?".. Or was it when he said he wanted to go get high and watch the movie "Willow".

I wish I was making this up.

My mom wanted to know how me and Chaz left things. I told her that I just left. No "talk to you soon" or "let's do this again!".. I did tell him to get home safe though.. But that was mostly for my sake. Sharing the road with Mr. Road Soda was not too comforting. But I'm guessing he made it home that night, cause the next night I got a text pretty late saying "Hey Girl!" and I laughed pretty hard. It wasn't until I got the text the next day that said, "Hey, how much is the place your parents are renting?" that I freaked out.

Yeah, right. I think its safe to say that me and Chaz will not be sharing a mailbox, a driveway, or any road sodas in our future.

Adios, Senor!

Boomerang

So, I have a confession, friends.. I have a crush. (.. Sigh..) And to be honest, I have been crushin' for a while.. But I constantly push it aside, to the itty bitty corners of my mind.. cause the whole reality of it becoming an actual reality just seems too insane. We've known each other for a long time.. worked together a while back, he adopted my brother's dog, and we also have tons of the same friends.. One friend in particular that we have in common, is the Captain, as in Captain Boring, as in the main pain in my arse for the last 4 years. And the plot thickens... dun dun dun!

So, here I am constantly playing it cool every time I see him. Keeping it breezy, hiding the giddy girl feelings when he hugs me hello... Or when I get a cute text from him.. Or when he offers to ride my dogs to the beach.. Or casually mentions that he just got a Disneyland pass and that we should go together. Ugh, I hate when I'm such a girl, already planning out our cuddle sessions while waiting for Space Mountain.. Or sharing churros. Or him tempting me with kisses to go on Tower of Terror with him. And then I wake up, roll out of bed, throw on my flip flops and go meet him, and the Captain, at the beach with all our dogs.

So imagine my surprise when Skip* walks into my work one night and asks me to go to Knott's Scary Farm with him. And also to Disneyland with him that same week. Now, although I am the biggest chicken on the planet, I couldn't pass up an opportunity to be scared and hide in someone's arms, so I accepted. And then freaked out. Clearly. Was this a date?? Or was it just a friendly invitation so Skip would have someone to laugh at when monsters in mazes corner and taunt me until I pee myself? And more importantly, could I even make it through a night of monsters in mazes taunting me??? (Shanny, I still remember when we all went to Knott's Scary Farm in high school and you would block us from running out of the mazes... Thanks, Spooner! Not! Ha ha!)

Cut to the night of the big event.. He sends me a text that he's on his way, and I try to put my game face on. Have a huddle with myself and all my fears to "man-up" tonight and not make a fool of myself. So when he arrives, I am walking out to meet him. I give him a hug, and then notice another figure in the night. He says, "Oh.. Jamie, this is Layla*.." Umm.. I'm sorry.. What? Who? Why?? Yep, all of a sudden I am in my worst nightmare, heading to my worst nightmare.. Knott's Scary Farm.. as a 3rd wheel! In my mind, I am Macauly Culkin in Home Alone after he puts on the after-shave.. Hands on face screaming at the top of my lungs. And in reality, I'm playing it cool. Like the coolest of cools. Where the hell is my Academy Award already?! And it just keeps getting better. She is your typical 23 year old, tall, bendy, blonde .. and apparently my new BFF. After being in the car for literally 10 minutes, I was already invited to go to Disneyland (turns out she is the one who talked Skip into buying a pass), snowboarding this winter, her birthday party at the Pirate Show and also her yoga/pilates/spin classes. All the while I am contemplating just rolling out of the car on the 5 freeway and hitching a cab back home. And the icing on the cake? She snorts when she laughs.

This is one of those moments where you think you're being punked. Cause this doesn't really happen in real life. Unless you are me. Seriously.

So, here I am in the car replaying everything. Making sure I didn't misread anything. He asked me. He didn't tell me to invite any of my friends. He insisted we still go despite the chance of rain. He bought the tickets. He picked me up. I was confused, but I had to tell myself to power through this night, and let it go. That I should be happy for him.. and be supportive. And that's right about the time that he stepped away from us, and she proceeded to tell me the last thing I needed to hear.

"Skip just adores you.. he thinks you're great. I've heard so much about you.. He talks about you all the time, so its nice to finally meet you. Its funny, a couple times when we were on the phone he was like 'Jamie's calling, I gotta go..' So yeah, its nice to finally meet you.. you're so cool.. and I like your boots.. and I didn't know you were gonna be so pretty."

Ughh, Seriously! I have been with these people like 30 minutes and my emotions had been back and forth and all over the place. I felt like a freaking boomerang.. Chucked out to let it fly, take a chance and see what happens, only to be shot right back to where I started. And this boomerang wasn't settling anytime soon. Because we hadn't even entered the park yet. I don't think Skip thought this scenario through beforehand.. I mean, most of the rides are built for twos, and then having to console two terrified girls.. I mean, come on! But we made do.. rotated on the rides, and as fate would have it.. Guess which ride me and Skip rode together on? Yep, Boomerang. How fitting.. (Insert eye roll here.)

The rest of the night couldn't have went any better. One of Skip's buddies joined us later with his girlfriend, so I had more company. And Layla had a little too much to drink, and started to be a little much to handle when she would burst into tears on rides and in the mazes. Skip would look at me for some sort of assistance, and I would just smile and say "Good luck, honey!" Okay okay, so I may or may not have egged her on with a shot or two. And I may or may not have pointed her out to monsters and perhaps told them her name. But I honestly didn't expect her to cry. I just figured the more monsters that scared her, the less monsters to scare me?? I had an image of a put-together, mature woman to uphold here.

But in the end, it always works out. As we were coming out of our final maze, the scariest guy in all of Scary Farm-- the guy with the chain saw-- pops out of nowhere, corners Skip and Layla, and she takes off running. And I mean, runnnning! Mr Chain Saw chased after her, of course. And they sprinted off in the distance, leaving the four of us, keeled over in tears from laughing so hard. I swear on everything I had nothing to do with that one... But I couldn't have planned it any better myself. The car ride home was perfect too. Layla's final sprint wore her out, and she was asleep before we even left the parking lot.

Maybe this was just a teaser for when me and Skip are taking our out-of-control toddler to amusement parks someday.. or maybe I'll use this story when giving a toast at Skip and Layla's wedding. Who knows. Either way, I had fun.

I took those lemons, and made another killer lemon meringue pie. I think I'll save this one for Mr. Chain Saw... wink wink.



* For confidentiality purposes, names have been changed to sound more hip and unrealistic.

Back in the damn saddle again...

So much for not jumping back into the same routine, haha... After being back from the Promise Land for exactly 3 weeks now, I am back to my overworked, tired and sluggish self. It was good while it lasted though.. :) I'm guessing the gloomy weather and horrible jet lag has played a small part in it. Or maybe its not waking up to roosters crowing and lounging on a beach all day that is throwing me off. Hmm... I wonder.

It literally seems like I took that trip forever ago. And being that I haven't really blogged or posted much about the trip isn't helping. And when I got back from the trip, I still had some days to journal about. So I placed my travel journal on my bedside table to finish it, before I forgot it. And sadly, I haven't even cracked that puppy open once. Life literally picked up right where it left off, and I have been running like crazy to catch up. But I have realized that this takes effort. Being across the world, with no responsibilities, and no cell phone, its easy to disappear. But now I have learned I must make a conscious effort to stay sane. I can do all the things I did while I was in Bali here, I just have to make time for it. Okay, so finding elephants to ride, or monkeys to play with may have its difficulties, but still. There are plenty of beaches, and hiking trails, and scenic spots within a gas tank's reach for me to take advantage of. And I don't even have to pay some Balinese man to take me there.

So, this is my vow to me. To take the time. To make the effort. I'm gonna finish that journal. I'm gonna hike more. I'm gonna remember to apply sunscreen. I'm gonna wake up in the morning, and do what I want to do. And if I happen to see an elephant along the way, you better believe I'm riding it.

Fingers crossed, its a nice one... like her.

Daisy

So, just 'reaching out' to let you know I'm trying my best to post pictures of the trip. But being that this little shutter bug took over 1,000 pictures.. It may take a while. Also, due to the fact I have the sleeping pattern of a vampire, I'm usually asleep most of the hours the library is actually open. Exactly how long does jet lag last for?? Or should I start looking for a job working the graveyard shift?

But as for me, I'm trying my best to not jump back in to the same routine. I learned a lot about myself while on my trip. And I came home and did the one thing I've been trying to do the last 4 years. I let go. I moved on. I took one huge deep breath in, and released everything I'd been holding on to. And to make matters more interesting, I also came home to a "For Sale" sign in my front yard. So if all goes as planned, who knows how far I will actually be moving on to...

I'll keep you posted friends.. Life's sure getting interesting! :)

Mission Accomplished!

RELAXATION: noun

1. The act of relaxing or the state of being relaxed.
2. Refreshment of body or mind; recreation
3. A reduction in strictness or severity.
4. A partial lessening of a punishment, duty, etc.
5. The gradual lengthening of inactive muscle or muscle fibers.

or more specifically, ME!




*please note the time of post... I am wide awake, and blogging at 4:34 am... Jetlag! Yay!

Anticipation!

So, its almost here.. 5 days.. Five freakin' days and I'll be in Bali. Okay, so technically its six days considering the 18 hours of flight time and time change.. But technicalities, shmechnicalities..

My plan on this get-away is to fly by the seat of my pants.. My only plan was my plane ticket, and the hotel for when I arrive.. everything else is up in the air. And seriously, for being such a care-free trip.. A ton of planning is involved! Finding a dog-sitter for 3 weeks is pretty much a feat on its own (Thank you to Wendy and Taylor.. I love you forever.. And to my Brother, I love you and thanks for only taking my soul and first-born for the 4 days you will be watching them. What a bargain!).

Also, a big thank you to Hollywood, Julia Roberts and everyone a part of "Eat, Pray, Love" for making it seem like a trip to Bali is as breezy as filling a duffle bag with cargo shorts, linen tops and a hat and jumping on a plane. They failed to mention the tetnus, malaria and whooping cough vaccines. I was told that Bali is 'Heaven on Earth'... Due to my huge fear of needles, I'm hoping that there aren't any vaccines to get into the real Heaven.. But that's not something I have to worry about now. Hopefully.

Anyways, so my bags are almost packed.. which is weird for a procrastinator like myself. I am still unsure about the outfits to bring.. I mean, what does one wear when searching for her sanity? Or when riding elephants? And what if I meet "Him".. Him being the emotionally available, hilarious, all-American-ish Australian bongo player with the perfect body. What does one wear when meeting Him?! Yeah yeah, he's gonna love me for me, and blah blah blah.. but come on, I have to have that perfect "Oh, this old thing" dress that catches his eye. So yes, this is the type of planning they failed to mention in the movie. And regardless if i am ready, I will be boarding that plane in a few days..

And I can't wait. My whole body is smiling.. From the top of my head, to my freshly painted toes..

Stay tuned for pictures and stories.. With my luck, oh dear.. I can only imagine.

Budderoni!

Just had to post this picture of my nephew... Even though his favorite word is "NOO!!", he kicks cats, and thinks my name is Dora. This little face melts my heart every stinkin' time..

Destination: SANITY!

So, its finally happening. And I guess it won't seem real until my bags are packed and I board that plane.. But its really happening. I'm going to Bali. Seriously, just typing the words gives me a little flutter and tingle all over.

In yoga class they always say this one little phrase, and I can't wait to make it my daily purpose for a whole month:

"There's no where else you need to be, and nothing else to do... Just breathe and be in the moment."

Seriously, August 24th..



.... Any joiners??

When I Grow Up...

So, today was the worst day ever. Really..EVER! I was praying for a tsunami, earthquake, or maybe, say a smaller-scale-lower-death-toll-scenario, a power outage to strike my work, so I could retain any sort of sanity I had left. But no such luck. So when I hit that "Clock Out" button and flew out to Gidget (the automobile) I couldn't believe I had actually survived. Starving, stinky, and a teeny bit snippy, I was in no mood for friends. So I declined on the invites to "hang" and posted up on the couch for a date with myself. First order of business being, So You Think You Can Dance.

I'm sure you have watched, or heard me ramble on about the show. But seriously, to say its amazing... well, that wouldn't even scratch the surface to its greatness. Let's be honest here, I'm a TV nut. I record like one million shows, but the only shows that have been saved permanently on my DVR are episodes of this little jewel. (Okay, okay.. and "Out of Sight" starring my one and only George Clooney... Seriously.. IN. LOVE.) But every once in a good while, I watch those old episodes, and I get chills every stinkin' time. The audition episodes are never my fave. Too many crazy people trying to get their 15 minutes.. But wow, when I plopped down on my couch and pressed play tonight, I had no idea what I would see.

I attached the clip because I think this is something worth seeing. I watched this and bawled like a baby. And then I watched it again. And again. And again.. I think you catch my drift here. For a black soul like mine, I couldn't believe how much this little number did a number on me. But then again, who am I kidding. This show has made me cry before. Dancing is one thing near and dear to my heart. It has the ability to send a powerful message and cause such strong feelings and emotion, all without saying a single word. And this guy, well, he was no exception. After watching him dance, I felt awesome, and happy.. and completely forgot about my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Maybe it won't have the same effect on you, but I still think he's cool.. so just watch it.. Geeeez. Haha, I kid. ;)

Enjoy my friends.. and don't stop dancing.



I so wanna be him when I grow up... Here's hoping! :)

Ouch!

So, it happened again. A perfect face turned me into a giddy teenager. It seems to always happen on Sundays at work. Sundays being the day I have to be there at 9 am after working all night on Saturday. Sundays usually being the days I need a shower like you wouldn't believe. And putting on make-up doesn't seem as important as snoozing for an extra 10 minutes.. Yep. Why would it happen when I look like a real person, much less like an actual girl?? But this Sunday was an exception.. I actually showered and was feeling a bit better about myself. Go me!

So, here's what happened.. I was serving this table of girls, who were hilarious.. and thirsty. They were sucking down Mimosas faster than I could pour them. So they were constantly watching my every move to see when their next refill was coming. And when Mr. Perfect in his flannel shirt walked in, the girls were the first to see my reaction. The smile on my face, the twinkle in my eye.. okay okay, so they saw me discreetly fanning myself with the menu.. but whatevs. They would've done the same thing if they didn't have a glass in their hands the entire time.

So, luckily Mr. Flannel sat in my station, so I could find whatever excuse to go over and talk to him and his friends. He was kinda shy but very polite. Always asked nicely and said his thank you's.. I was in love. All it takes is a perfect face and a 'please and thank you' to win me over. So, when I walked back over to the ladies they wasted no time in teasing me. But then they mentioned that they thought I was super fun and we should all hang out sometime, so we exchanged numbers. Yay, I love new friends! I went back to actually working for a bit, and when the girls were leaving, I went to give them hugs. One of the girls named Hannah, gave me a big hug and said, "Oh, I gave that guy your number and told him that he really, really needed to call this girl cause she was amazing. But I didn't tell him it was you.. Bye! Have fun!"

I was shocked! Actually shocked doesn't even begin to explain.. I was a big ball of nerves.. So stoked that she would do that, but soooo nervous if he would call or not. And what would he say?! I felt like she was my Fairy Godmother.. Yep. And then I remembered that I had to go back and finish serving him and his friends. And pretend that everything was normal. And pretend that I had no idea what him and his friends were talking about.. when really, they were talking about me. It was insane.

So, long story short, he called. AGHHHH! (I couldn't answer while I was at work.) And then he texted. So, we were texting back and forth.. trying to figure out who I was, and I just wanted to know my future hubby's first name.. (Phillip, which was a total shock BTW.. he looked nothing like a Phillip... Flannel Phil, hahahahaha... I heart nicknames. ) And then he mentioned something about my plans that day.. and I said that I didn't have any cause I was at work, and then (moment of truth) I told him "I think I was your server..".. I was so nervous to tell him, but figured it was about time, and couldn't sit still waiting for his reaction.. And what happened next??

Crickets... Or, in other words, nothing. I was rejected by Flannel Phil! Happy Sunday to me... Ouch.

I have to laugh at the whole situation, or else I may just break down like a crazy person. I mean, What was I really expecting??

I later told my Mom the story and her reasoning was that he got in some crazy accident, his phone was destroyed, and he lost my number.. Yeah, let's go with that. That seems like a MUCH better ending.

Get Well Soon, Flannel Phil..

The Captain & the Dreamboat

So, I've been doing some major cleaning in my life lately. Not so much physical, as it is mental.. Although I did do a recent purge session in my closet thanks to a brilliant idea from my little wifey.. A give-it-away party. It stemmed from the whole idea of "one man's trash, is another man's treasure" and it was amazing. I had the urge to go have a shopping spree at Forever 21, and instead I have a whole new wardrobe for the price of zero dollars, and some extra space in my closet. And got to see my amazing ladies to boot! Win Win! :)

But as for the mental cleansing.. Ever since Mr. Dreamboat came in and smiled at me, I feel like I've had this major awakening. And I am plain and simple, bored with my "friend". Just even saying the word friend makes me fall into a deep sleep. I have renamed him to Captain Boring. Ha ha, Is that mean? Its just that I want someone that makes me giddy. That makes me speechless. And turns me into a total complete sappy nerd. I'm ready to look at someone and say "Yep, we are M.F.E.O." (Made For Each Other-- Sleepless in Seattle, anyone? Haha, Deed, I just got a mental image of "Harses! Harses! Harses!".. I think of you every time I see that part.) But at the same time, I don't know if I'm just going through a phase.. so I gave myself one final test.

The Captain invited me to a Lakers game last night, and so I said, perfect opportunity! Somewhere public, with a kiss cam (I love me some kissing!), sports-related so fun for him, celebrity-spotting-potential so fun for me, and its something different.. Okay! Things are looking good. But then again, this is me and remembering my luck here... clearly, the only thing that looked good at the game was the cute guy sitting in the row in front of me. Long story short, the Captain failed to mention my seat for the game was literally on the opposite side of the Staples Center from where his was. My seat was with my friend Tyler and his adorable girlfriend, Katie, who by-the-way are in the Giddy Stage of their relationship and can't keep their hands off each other. I'm surprised they didn't end up on the Kiss Cam. The Captain was sitting with his three buddies and called me during halftime to say that they were gonna stay on their side (we were supposed to meet up) of the arena and "Would I be okay?" My answer was, "You have no idea how okay I will be."

Thank you fate, my gut, or whoever else was sending me my answer that night. I heard you loud and oh-so-clear. Don't get me wrong, I had a blast at the game. I danced, I cheered, I spotted those celebrities. I took my lemons, and made one killer lemon meringue pie. But thanks in no part to the Captain. And after we got back to his house, and everyone left, it was just the two of us, sitting there... bored.

Thank you to Mr. Dreamboat for opening my eyes to such possibilities. I haven't seen you again, and I don't know if I ever will.. But if I do, I owe you a lemon meringue pie. Okay, okay.. and maybe a kiss. :)

Remember...

Remember how I've been in a "non-relationship" for almost 3 years. Remember how hearing him say words such as "us" and "we" when talking about futures makes my eye twitch. Remember how being near him, cuddling with him and playing our "radio game" are some of my most favorite times. Remember how I can't smell sunscreen without thinking about him.

Remember how a cute boy came into my work and smiled at me, and I lost all brain function. Remember how I wouldn't give him my number because I am in a "non-relationship." Remember how after he left, I couldn't stop thinking about his smile.. those eyes. Remember how I was a crazy person and looked all over Newport for him, and then when that didn't work went home and searched Facebook. Remember how I am terrified of the internet because of people just like me.

Remember how I need to seek professional help.

Again.

Out of Touch

So, I just wanted to send a little note saying I miss you. I have been without internet for a while now. I had been secretly stealing it from my brother. Well, in my mind it wasn't stealing. Just sort of the payment I get out of dealing with his grumpy butt all the time. But long story short, that is kaput.

So, in the few seconds I have to type while at work, I just want to say I miss you, Blog World. I miss sharing my insane stories... I miss seeing my friends cute kiddies.. and I miss the strangers blogs that I used to stalk regularly. I hope everyone is happy and healthy.

Love!