Remember...

Remember when I finally was getting along with my brother again. 

Remember when I wanted to sell Baxter because he wakes me up, every two hours, every night, like a newborn baby. Remember how Monty, my perfect dog, killed my brother's cat the day before Valentine's Day. Remember when my brother hated me again. 

Remember how I was really upset and needed support, so I turned to "my friend" and all he could tell me was "This never would've happened if you'd take your dogs out more often". Remember how I got pissed and ignored him. Remember how I left him a note saying "Happy Valentine's Day, you little brat" even though I wanted to call him a jerk, asshole, or prick. Pretty much something that would make him realize how mean he really is. Remember when he called to thank me, because he thought I was genuinely leaving him a Valentine. Remember when I got pissed and ignored him again. Remember how a day later we went to a movie and then cuddled and kissed on his couch. 

Remember how I signed up for eharmony. Remember how I thought I was unmatchable, and now I have over 150 men that are "the one". Remember when I received "gentle nudges" to start communication with them. Remember how eharmony called me a "skeptic". Remember how eharmony is stalking me. 

Remember how I'm going to be single forever, with my nocturnal and murderous dogs, living next door to my grumpy overprotective brother. 

My life is soooo cool.  

Insomnia

So, it seems lately I've had some trouble falling asleep at a normal hour. Hence me blogging at 12:15 Sunday night.. or I guess, technically, Monday morning. And normally I just read or watch tv till my eyes wear out and I finally doze off. But last week, I wasn't so lucky. I finally fell asleep around 5:30 am. Yes, I repeat, 5:30 am. I tried everything!  Watching all my DVR'd shows, balancing my checking account, blog-stalking, color-coordinating my closet, dusting my house, alphabetizing my DVDs, doing the dishes, and so on, I finally gave in and challenged my eyes to a competition. Who can stare at my eyelids longer? Righty always wins. Oh, and did I mention I also signed up for eharmony, as well. Oops, must've slipped my mind.. ;) 

Its those darn commercials. The song, the couples walking together and laughing, in slow motion. Why always in slow motion? I thought time was supposed to fly when you're having fun... but anyway, during my countless hours enjoying the tube, I always see those commercials, and think how cute that they found their match. So, I was curious, and a little mental from the lack of sleep, so I checked out the website. And before I know it, I'm in the middle of setting up a profile where they ask you a gajillion questions. No joke. It was intense. Questions like, if you were given too much change would you speak up about it.. and I was torn. Say I'm given .23 extra cents, odds are I'm probably not gonna bother. But $23.00, that's another story. I'd give it back. But how do you base a relationship on that question?? I kept wanting to quit, but it'd say, 83% done, so I'd keep trucking on, only to find that 83% is nowhere near finished. And as I'm finishing the survey, I start to thinking about how you hear the horror stories of people rejected from these kinda things. They say that you are "unmatchable" or just plain "rejected". And then I freaked out. What if I'm a reject?!  Will I never have the opportunity to walk in slow motion?? Will I never laugh in slow motion? Oh dear! Am I cursed to travel this Earth at an ordinary, average pace?! But, then I was able to talk myself out of the freak out.. one of the bonuses of being a gemini, I guess.

So I went to bed that night not realizing what I had really done. Clearly due to the insomnia. And when I opened up my inbox Monday afternoon, it really hit me. Meet Brian. Meet Phil. Meet Mike. And so on, and so on.... everyday there are like 12 new guys. And everyday, I get more and more stressed about it. Number one, I have no idea who these people are. Stranger danger. Number two, I didn't pay for the service because it said I could see my matches for free. By "see" they mean, see everything but what they actually look like. So I have no idea what these guys look like. And call me superficial, but hey, looks matter. Not to me, but to my future children. Always thinkin' ahead... and Number three, am I really supposed to pay to meet a guy? And how much am I willing to pay?

So, as of now, I still haven't paid. Therefore I can't view pictures or communicate with any of these potential "slow motioners"... and I'm perfectly fine with it. Some of the guys seem really interesting. But are they just telling me what I want to hear.. or read, I guess. And others, I'm completely shocked they were paired with me. For example, the type of guy who answers all of his questions with the answer "my truck":

What are you most thankful for? My truck 

What are you passionate about? My truck

What can you not live without? My truck

Leisure activities? Washing my truck, driving my truck, and thinking about... my truck.

I wish I was kidding. In the beginning I was just excited I wasn't rejected by the website. Now I'm just wondering why this guy wasn't. I mean, its cute if you're a little boy. But not if you're 34. 

So needless to say, I'm hesitant about this little pickle I've gotten myself into. Maybe I'll give it a whirl for a month. Maybe I won't. All I know is, this girl needs her sleep. Especially if Mr. Right is patiently waiting somewhere in my inbox.