Circle of Life

So, on Wednesday my brother became a proud little daddy. Nathan James graced us with his presence around 12:30 pm, weighing in at 7 lbs. 11 oz and 21 inches long. Great betting numbers! It was so great to see the excitement in everyone's faces as we anticipated meeting the little spud. My dad had zero patience and was the one pacing back and forth. Even though we were supposed to be waiting in the lobby for the news, my Dad kept sneaking back to get updates and was the first to break the news. It was so great to see my Dad so excited. If anyone knows this man, kids are not his cup of tea. He loves his grandkids, there's no question about that, but he just wishes they were like little mannequins to look at, instead of rambunctious little hyenas with messy hands. But he was the first to arrive at the hospital, and the one most likely to page the nurses. He was finally getting his legacy.. little Nathan to carry on the family name, and I'm sure the family business too.  

Little Nathan, or as I call him, Nater Potater, is THE sweetest baby ever. I love kids, love love them! But newborns always scare me. They seem so fragile and I don't wanna wake them in case they cry. But not this one. I am so addicted to this little baby. He is such a great baby! I can't put him down. The nurses were so sad to see him go. They just loved our little spud! And Chris is so stinkin' cute with him. I always knew my brother would be a great Dad, but I have tears in my eyes right now thinking about the two of those kids together. My brother tries to be so tough, and then he puts this baby in his arms, and you just see him melt right before your eyes. Life is seriously such a beautiful thing! 

But life has its ebbs and flows. With life comes death. And I got the news today that my Great-Grandma passed away this morning. Although my heart is broken, it is also so full. This woman lived such an amazing life. She lived it to the fullest, topping out at 107 years old. I can't say that this is something that we weren't prepared for, but it still came as a surprise. Twice a year, the family meets in Laughlin. Once to celebrate her birthday in March, and the other to celebrate her son's, or my Uncle Donny, in October. My Uncle Donny passed away a couple months ago and so this was going to be a big celebration. One last hoorah for Donny at the Craps table. And we'd always say whenever Grandma was slowing down, "Just make it to Laughlin..." and she would. But unfortunately, Grandma missed the trip by two weeks. Everyone is still planning on going and celebrating these two amazing lives, but its just bittersweet. It just isn't the same without our Jackpot Mary.

I found myself being kinda selfish. Wanting her to live forever because she was such a rare jewel and I didn't want to let go. But at the same time, she's been living for forever. I mean, she was born in 1901.. she has lived through everything! I don't read history books, I just talk to her. Its way more accurate and entertaining. But as much as she loved her family, I know she was tired. She would say, "I'm ready to go home. You know, Bill isn't going to wait for me for  forever..." And that always put things into perspective for me. Even though I knew he would. 

My Grandpa passed away when I was a baby, but I love looking at pictures of the two of them. They just look like this classic couple. The two of them probably had no clue what their love could create. They were this cute, little family of four, which later turned into 11 grandchildren, 22 great-grandchildren, and 11 great-great-grandchildren. 

I feel so honored to be a part of this family. To not only have loved this woman, but to have been loved by this woman. She was always so excited to see everyone even when she was achy and tired. And even when she was weak, she would still hold your hand with her tight grip, look you straight in the face, smile and say "It's so good to see you." And it made it all worth it. The early morning alarm clock on saturday, the traffic, the long drive.. that one moment. I'm sure going to miss that. 

I thank her for making me the "tough ol' swede" that I am today. I thank her for teaching me the importance of family. I thank her for teaching me that sometimes you just need to get away and hit the slots. I thank her for teaching me about the simple things. That life is just as rich living in a tiny one-bedroom house in Santa Monica than in any penthouse or ocean-front property. But most of all, I thank her for her love. 

I'll miss you, Grandma! If I'm anything like you, I guess I'll see you in 80 years.. Love you!