Aaagggghhhhhh!!

Well my friends, it happened. Skip kissed me! Eeeeeeek!!

And it was so out of the blue, I almost thought I was imagining it like some scene out of Ally McBeal... I literally pinched myself. And then I froze. Cause I wanted to explode and tell him how long I have been waiting for that to happen. And everything that I felt for him. But instead I said nothing. I sat there, and smiled. And said absolutely nothing. And then he reached for my hand under the blanket, and we sat there, like two little teeny boppers holding hands and watching a movie. My heart was literally beating out of my chest. And then he kissed me again, and again.. and again. Sigh...

Since it happened, I've been replaying it in my head a gajillion times. And I can't shake this grin. Or the millions of butterflies in my stomach. Or how amazing of a cuddler he is. But mostly, I can't get this certain song out of my head. And luckily, there is a perfect little video that best describes how I'm feeling..





I am in trouble.. Big time.

Road Soda

So friends, I have another one for ya. And I mean, honestly, I'm glad i am writing this stuff down. Because maybe I am supposed to use all this "research" for writing a book, or screenplay, or sitcom someday. Because I just can't explain it any other way.

So get cozy, maybe hit the potty beforehand, and settle in for this months juicy morsel of insanity.

Ladies, this is the story of Chaz:

I met Chaz right when I got back from Bali, so my skin was tan and my guard was down. I was at work, and as much as I hate meeting guys there, it happens. But how we met was pretty interesting in itself. Chaz walks up to me and starts complaining about how his whole table got cleared and they weren't finished. Conversation was as follows:

Chaz: Dude! Someone cleared all our drinks and they were totally full!

(I was the one who cleared the drinks, that were nowhere near full... and the table was empty. But I played dumb.. Clearly.)

Me: Dude! Really? That doesn't sound like something we would do.. we only clear tables that are empty and no one is sitting at.

Chaz: Well, we were in the bathroom!

M: We??

C: Yeah, me and my buddies.

M: I'm pretty sure that is the first time I have EVER heard of three men going to the bathroom together. But if you say so... talk to the bartender.

Then one of Chaz's friends comes walking up, pushes him out of the way, and I am preparing myself for another angry tirade about his lost beer. But instead I get:

Guy: Do you have a boyfriend?? Cause, oh the things I would do to you..

Me: Umm.. I'm sorry, WHAT?

And then Guy proceeded to run his mouth with all kinds of inappropriateness. I'll spare you all the details. I was shocked. And granted just coming back from a Sanity Break, was not prepared for these types of pigs. But I caught up real quick.

After he proceeded to tell me, "If you were my girl, we would neverrr leave the house. I'm talking 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.." I answered him with, "First off, I'm not a 'girl', I'm a lady. Secondly, umm.. I also have a brain. And I'm not some piece of meat. And third, THAT doesn't even sound like fun! I mean, all day, every day?? Really? When would I eat? Or sleep? I can't even go outside?? And what girls like that?? Really, who? All day?!? Please!"

All three of the guys were pretty much speechless after my little speech, but then I looked over at Chaz, and he seemed really embarrassed. I was curious what a surfer guy was doing with such a douche bag like that guy.. but that answer came much later. I don't know why I ended up giving Chaz my number that night. I think partly it was to be a lesson for his tool of a friend. And partly cause I thought he was cute, and thought it was cute that he asked me to grab a tea, or go for a hike sometime. So I gave him my number, not expecting anything to come from it.

Then he called. And called again. And told me, "I'm gonna keep bugging you until you call me back" in a charming, not creepy kind of way. So I called him. And when he answered, he didn't play the "your number is programmed in my phone but I'm going to act like I don't know who this is" game. He said, "Hey Jamie, how are you?" and I really liked that. And we ended up talking for like two hours.. about all kinds of stuff. And I was really surprised at how cool he was. And how nice he was. And the fact that he hadn't sent me a single text. Could it be?? A normal man!?

So, we had plans set to go hiking that next week. Then the rains came and we both got busy with life. Never ended up hanging out or talking on the phone again.. but those texts sure started appearing. Random ones asking me why we never hung out, as if it was my job to ask him out and plan a date. I know its 2010, but I'm old fashioned. I like to be treated like a lady.

Flash forward to present time.. I have seen Chaz once, and talked to him once. Both of those happened in September. So when he sends me a text asking to hang out, I'm trying to remember what he looked like, and what exactly we had in common.. but I say yes. We go meet at this cute little bar around the corner from my house. And I get kinda nervous. It almost felt like a blind date. Cause I really couldn't remember what the guy looked like! Then he walked in. And I was pleasantly surprised.

I mean, he was cute! Pretty eyes. Check! Nice teeth. Check! Age appropriate. Check! Makes me laugh. Check! Smart, cause he just got his masters and is going for his PhD. Check! Check! So what could go wrong??

Let's just say that him complaining about an almost-empty drink when I first met him, should have been my first sign. After sucking down his drink, he began complaining about the cost of said drink. And when the bartender asked him if he wanted another, he said, "yeah right.. I'd rather just go buy some booze at a liquor store and drink it in my car." Which then got us on another interesting topic for a first date: Drinking and Driving. He said, and I quote, "There is nothing wrong with a little road soda.." End quote.

Road soda?? Like there's an actual name for that sort of thing! O.M.G.. this is too good. This date was going so bad I almost didn't want to leave it. In fact, we ended up leaving the bar and sitting in his car to talk some more. I wanted to know just how bad this train was gonna wreck. And when he started burping and hiccuping I pretty much knew we had reached that point. Or was it when he peed in a bush. Or when asked what his future plans are, he said "I'm not really sure... what do I do with a Masters in Spanish?".. Or was it when he said he wanted to go get high and watch the movie "Willow".

I wish I was making this up.

My mom wanted to know how me and Chaz left things. I told her that I just left. No "talk to you soon" or "let's do this again!".. I did tell him to get home safe though.. But that was mostly for my sake. Sharing the road with Mr. Road Soda was not too comforting. But I'm guessing he made it home that night, cause the next night I got a text pretty late saying "Hey Girl!" and I laughed pretty hard. It wasn't until I got the text the next day that said, "Hey, how much is the place your parents are renting?" that I freaked out.

Yeah, right. I think its safe to say that me and Chaz will not be sharing a mailbox, a driveway, or any road sodas in our future.

Adios, Senor!

Boomerang

So, I have a confession, friends.. I have a crush. (.. Sigh..) And to be honest, I have been crushin' for a while.. But I constantly push it aside, to the itty bitty corners of my mind.. cause the whole reality of it becoming an actual reality just seems too insane. We've known each other for a long time.. worked together a while back, he adopted my brother's dog, and we also have tons of the same friends.. One friend in particular that we have in common, is the Captain, as in Captain Boring, as in the main pain in my arse for the last 4 years. And the plot thickens... dun dun dun!

So, here I am constantly playing it cool every time I see him. Keeping it breezy, hiding the giddy girl feelings when he hugs me hello... Or when I get a cute text from him.. Or when he offers to ride my dogs to the beach.. Or casually mentions that he just got a Disneyland pass and that we should go together. Ugh, I hate when I'm such a girl, already planning out our cuddle sessions while waiting for Space Mountain.. Or sharing churros. Or him tempting me with kisses to go on Tower of Terror with him. And then I wake up, roll out of bed, throw on my flip flops and go meet him, and the Captain, at the beach with all our dogs.

So imagine my surprise when Skip* walks into my work one night and asks me to go to Knott's Scary Farm with him. And also to Disneyland with him that same week. Now, although I am the biggest chicken on the planet, I couldn't pass up an opportunity to be scared and hide in someone's arms, so I accepted. And then freaked out. Clearly. Was this a date?? Or was it just a friendly invitation so Skip would have someone to laugh at when monsters in mazes corner and taunt me until I pee myself? And more importantly, could I even make it through a night of monsters in mazes taunting me??? (Shanny, I still remember when we all went to Knott's Scary Farm in high school and you would block us from running out of the mazes... Thanks, Spooner! Not! Ha ha!)

Cut to the night of the big event.. He sends me a text that he's on his way, and I try to put my game face on. Have a huddle with myself and all my fears to "man-up" tonight and not make a fool of myself. So when he arrives, I am walking out to meet him. I give him a hug, and then notice another figure in the night. He says, "Oh.. Jamie, this is Layla*.." Umm.. I'm sorry.. What? Who? Why?? Yep, all of a sudden I am in my worst nightmare, heading to my worst nightmare.. Knott's Scary Farm.. as a 3rd wheel! In my mind, I am Macauly Culkin in Home Alone after he puts on the after-shave.. Hands on face screaming at the top of my lungs. And in reality, I'm playing it cool. Like the coolest of cools. Where the hell is my Academy Award already?! And it just keeps getting better. She is your typical 23 year old, tall, bendy, blonde .. and apparently my new BFF. After being in the car for literally 10 minutes, I was already invited to go to Disneyland (turns out she is the one who talked Skip into buying a pass), snowboarding this winter, her birthday party at the Pirate Show and also her yoga/pilates/spin classes. All the while I am contemplating just rolling out of the car on the 5 freeway and hitching a cab back home. And the icing on the cake? She snorts when she laughs.

This is one of those moments where you think you're being punked. Cause this doesn't really happen in real life. Unless you are me. Seriously.

So, here I am in the car replaying everything. Making sure I didn't misread anything. He asked me. He didn't tell me to invite any of my friends. He insisted we still go despite the chance of rain. He bought the tickets. He picked me up. I was confused, but I had to tell myself to power through this night, and let it go. That I should be happy for him.. and be supportive. And that's right about the time that he stepped away from us, and she proceeded to tell me the last thing I needed to hear.

"Skip just adores you.. he thinks you're great. I've heard so much about you.. He talks about you all the time, so its nice to finally meet you. Its funny, a couple times when we were on the phone he was like 'Jamie's calling, I gotta go..' So yeah, its nice to finally meet you.. you're so cool.. and I like your boots.. and I didn't know you were gonna be so pretty."

Ughh, Seriously! I have been with these people like 30 minutes and my emotions had been back and forth and all over the place. I felt like a freaking boomerang.. Chucked out to let it fly, take a chance and see what happens, only to be shot right back to where I started. And this boomerang wasn't settling anytime soon. Because we hadn't even entered the park yet. I don't think Skip thought this scenario through beforehand.. I mean, most of the rides are built for twos, and then having to console two terrified girls.. I mean, come on! But we made do.. rotated on the rides, and as fate would have it.. Guess which ride me and Skip rode together on? Yep, Boomerang. How fitting.. (Insert eye roll here.)

The rest of the night couldn't have went any better. One of Skip's buddies joined us later with his girlfriend, so I had more company. And Layla had a little too much to drink, and started to be a little much to handle when she would burst into tears on rides and in the mazes. Skip would look at me for some sort of assistance, and I would just smile and say "Good luck, honey!" Okay okay, so I may or may not have egged her on with a shot or two. And I may or may not have pointed her out to monsters and perhaps told them her name. But I honestly didn't expect her to cry. I just figured the more monsters that scared her, the less monsters to scare me?? I had an image of a put-together, mature woman to uphold here.

But in the end, it always works out. As we were coming out of our final maze, the scariest guy in all of Scary Farm-- the guy with the chain saw-- pops out of nowhere, corners Skip and Layla, and she takes off running. And I mean, runnnning! Mr Chain Saw chased after her, of course. And they sprinted off in the distance, leaving the four of us, keeled over in tears from laughing so hard. I swear on everything I had nothing to do with that one... But I couldn't have planned it any better myself. The car ride home was perfect too. Layla's final sprint wore her out, and she was asleep before we even left the parking lot.

Maybe this was just a teaser for when me and Skip are taking our out-of-control toddler to amusement parks someday.. or maybe I'll use this story when giving a toast at Skip and Layla's wedding. Who knows. Either way, I had fun.

I took those lemons, and made another killer lemon meringue pie. I think I'll save this one for Mr. Chain Saw... wink wink.



* For confidentiality purposes, names have been changed to sound more hip and unrealistic.

Back in the damn saddle again...

So much for not jumping back into the same routine, haha... After being back from the Promise Land for exactly 3 weeks now, I am back to my overworked, tired and sluggish self. It was good while it lasted though.. :) I'm guessing the gloomy weather and horrible jet lag has played a small part in it. Or maybe its not waking up to roosters crowing and lounging on a beach all day that is throwing me off. Hmm... I wonder.

It literally seems like I took that trip forever ago. And being that I haven't really blogged or posted much about the trip isn't helping. And when I got back from the trip, I still had some days to journal about. So I placed my travel journal on my bedside table to finish it, before I forgot it. And sadly, I haven't even cracked that puppy open once. Life literally picked up right where it left off, and I have been running like crazy to catch up. But I have realized that this takes effort. Being across the world, with no responsibilities, and no cell phone, its easy to disappear. But now I have learned I must make a conscious effort to stay sane. I can do all the things I did while I was in Bali here, I just have to make time for it. Okay, so finding elephants to ride, or monkeys to play with may have its difficulties, but still. There are plenty of beaches, and hiking trails, and scenic spots within a gas tank's reach for me to take advantage of. And I don't even have to pay some Balinese man to take me there.

So, this is my vow to me. To take the time. To make the effort. I'm gonna finish that journal. I'm gonna hike more. I'm gonna remember to apply sunscreen. I'm gonna wake up in the morning, and do what I want to do. And if I happen to see an elephant along the way, you better believe I'm riding it.

Fingers crossed, its a nice one... like her.

Daisy

So, just 'reaching out' to let you know I'm trying my best to post pictures of the trip. But being that this little shutter bug took over 1,000 pictures.. It may take a while. Also, due to the fact I have the sleeping pattern of a vampire, I'm usually asleep most of the hours the library is actually open. Exactly how long does jet lag last for?? Or should I start looking for a job working the graveyard shift?

But as for me, I'm trying my best to not jump back in to the same routine. I learned a lot about myself while on my trip. And I came home and did the one thing I've been trying to do the last 4 years. I let go. I moved on. I took one huge deep breath in, and released everything I'd been holding on to. And to make matters more interesting, I also came home to a "For Sale" sign in my front yard. So if all goes as planned, who knows how far I will actually be moving on to...

I'll keep you posted friends.. Life's sure getting interesting! :)

Mission Accomplished!

RELAXATION: noun

1. The act of relaxing or the state of being relaxed.
2. Refreshment of body or mind; recreation
3. A reduction in strictness or severity.
4. A partial lessening of a punishment, duty, etc.
5. The gradual lengthening of inactive muscle or muscle fibers.

or more specifically, ME!




*please note the time of post... I am wide awake, and blogging at 4:34 am... Jetlag! Yay!

Anticipation!

So, its almost here.. 5 days.. Five freakin' days and I'll be in Bali. Okay, so technically its six days considering the 18 hours of flight time and time change.. But technicalities, shmechnicalities..

My plan on this get-away is to fly by the seat of my pants.. My only plan was my plane ticket, and the hotel for when I arrive.. everything else is up in the air. And seriously, for being such a care-free trip.. A ton of planning is involved! Finding a dog-sitter for 3 weeks is pretty much a feat on its own (Thank you to Wendy and Taylor.. I love you forever.. And to my Brother, I love you and thanks for only taking my soul and first-born for the 4 days you will be watching them. What a bargain!).

Also, a big thank you to Hollywood, Julia Roberts and everyone a part of "Eat, Pray, Love" for making it seem like a trip to Bali is as breezy as filling a duffle bag with cargo shorts, linen tops and a hat and jumping on a plane. They failed to mention the tetnus, malaria and whooping cough vaccines. I was told that Bali is 'Heaven on Earth'... Due to my huge fear of needles, I'm hoping that there aren't any vaccines to get into the real Heaven.. But that's not something I have to worry about now. Hopefully.

Anyways, so my bags are almost packed.. which is weird for a procrastinator like myself. I am still unsure about the outfits to bring.. I mean, what does one wear when searching for her sanity? Or when riding elephants? And what if I meet "Him".. Him being the emotionally available, hilarious, all-American-ish Australian bongo player with the perfect body. What does one wear when meeting Him?! Yeah yeah, he's gonna love me for me, and blah blah blah.. but come on, I have to have that perfect "Oh, this old thing" dress that catches his eye. So yes, this is the type of planning they failed to mention in the movie. And regardless if i am ready, I will be boarding that plane in a few days..

And I can't wait. My whole body is smiling.. From the top of my head, to my freshly painted toes..

Stay tuned for pictures and stories.. With my luck, oh dear.. I can only imagine.