Us

This is the face of the man of my dreams. The man who makes me laugh my butt off. The man who makes my day from hell the best day ever, just by walking in the room. The man who can make my eyes well up with just the sound of his voice. And a man that when he kisses me, I can feel it all the way in the tips of my little painted toes.

This man is all mine. Creepy biker mustache and all.

Per.fec.tion. :)

A Bittersweet Bargain

So friends, its official, I am heartbroken. BORDERS is closed and I have officially lost my hideaway. Gone are the days when I would get lost in the biography section, or feed my addiction with a beautiful cookbook, or just wander around the store taking in the peace and quiet that comes with being surrounded by books. So I went one last time, to stock up on some books, so I wouldn't have to quit this place cold turkey. That the goodbye wouldn't really be official until I finished my last book. And although I have to admit being my mother's daughter and loving a good deal, there was just something about it that also felt like highway robbery.



I probably would have spent/saved a lot more, but I had to get to work and also I was running out of arms to hold them all. And there isn't much space left on my bedside table. But in the end, it was well worth it.

Goodbye Borders, thanks for the memories and you will surely be missed!

Falling From The Wrong Tree...

So, way back when, when I first moved to my place, the backyard was a bit of a concrete jungle. There was a small strip of grass, or weeds is more like it that the dogs would do their business and such. In an effort to try and rid the backyard of unwelcome visitors, such as possums, squirrels and the occasional ferret, my Dad tore out all the weeds and cypress trees and made a cute little garden area for me to exercise my green thumb. That garden was booming with tomatoes, corn, herbs and a jillion jalapenos. Who knew one little plant would grow so much! We ate like kings and queens off that little garden. It was awesome.

But as the seasons passed, the plants gave off less and less and eventually that little garden area became overgrown with weeds. So much so that the weeds were almost as tall as me. With all the rain we had, I had no idea how bad the weeds were until it was too late. And one day I tried to tackle them myself, and almost threw my back out. So in stepped Pops to save the day. It looked amazing after he was done with it, and he wasted no time in hassling me about taking care of the new crops. I promised him I would water it daily, but that wasn't enough, he would stop by in the mornings to check or re-water the little seedlings. I was starting to get a complex. Thinking he cared about the veggies more than me. But after a while, he stopped coming by to check and trusted me with his little offsprings.

So when everything started coming to fruition, I thought it was only fair that he get the first of the crop. He put his blood, sweat and tears into that puppy, so I was so happy to show him the amazingness that he and I created. I have to say I do have a bit of a green thumb. The size of the veggies that are coming out of this thing are unreal. Maybe its my early morning waterings, maybe the occasional veggie boost formula I give them, or possibly the morning tunes I sing as I shower them... who knows, but whatever it is, it's working! I've never seen a cucumber, zucchini or crookneck squash so big. EVER.

So imagine my surprise when I see the veggies at my parents house like a week later, untouched. And past their peak of freshness. I was confused. Who wouldn't want a ginormous garden fresh veggie as opposed to a puny store bought one? Why would you pay for something that you can get for free?

His response? "It smelled funny. When I cut it open it smelled like dog urine."

I flipped. For one, there is a four foot fence surrounding the garden so there is no way for them to get in there. Two, I washed the veggies with a wash before I gave them to him, so they were clean. And three, this is the second batch of crops to come out of this garden and he had no problem eating the first ones.

It was only when I said as a joke, "You can thank the boys for the nitrogen rich soil!" that he suddenly refuses to eat anything that comes out of the garden. This coming from a man that eats off roach coaches and food trucks at jobsites. The man who eats sushi, and taught me to love a medium rare steak. The man who watches Anthony Bourdain travel the world through his stomach and wishes he was alongside with him.

I just couldn't believe it. I wonder sometimes where I get my level head and saneness. Because its definitely not from him, and lord knows its not from my worry wort of a mother. I think its safe to say that this apple may have fallen from a different tree altogether.

Oh well, they keep life interesting. And if any one is interested in some garden fresh goodies, stop on by! The farmer is in!

Silly Love Songs

So back in the days of Captain Boring, we had a recurring argument about The Beatles. He said that John Lennon was the only one with any talent, and I used to get SO mad, cause Paul McCartney was my favorite one. Not that John wasn't talented.. I love his songs. But Paul, now he really knew how to write a love song. I would go on and on about how "Silly Love Songs" was one of my all time favorite songs, and the Captain would tell me I was retarded and had no taste in music. I would tell him you can't appreciate a good love song if you have no heart, so he just couldn't understand where I was coming from. And then, we'd agree to disagree.

Cut to present day. I am at work, and Mr. Wonderful calls me. Its super busy so I can't listen to the message until I'm walking to my car. And imagine my surprise when the message is my sweet love singing me "Silly Love Songs". Hearing him sing the words " I loooooooove youuuuuuu..." over and over again and then turning up the volume to sing along to the music. Well, friends.. it was perfection.

He just gets me. He understands that although our feelings for each other are very serious, sometimes a silly little love song can convey just as much. I always knew that he was out there. Finally. He is mine.

Thirty Shmirty...

Well, friends... I'm officially thirty. Gone are the carefree 20-something days, and now ahead are the domesticated, settled down days full of hubbies (Well, hopefully only one hubby) and kids. Or so I was told in about 50% of my birthday cards. So I celebrated my birthday the only way I knew how... Immaturely. I pushed aside the urges from family and friends to "just have a nice, mellow dinner somewhere" and opted for a fun-tastic extravaganza of silliness. Because if you looked up those words on wikipedia or in a dictionary, I would want my picture to appear. When my mom asked about the "theme" so she could buy decorations, my answer was "AWESOMENESS"... which frustrated her beyond belief. But I couldn't put a label on how I felt.. I am not Over The Hill, and I'm not the type of girl to wear a pink frilly dress and a tiara. And my Dad just couldn't grasp the concept of a Bounce House... "Jamie, there aren't even going to be that many kids there...." "Dad!! I'M the kid!"

But in the end, it was a complete success. That was hands down the best birthday I've ever had. And although at times I was a little overwhelmed at how great of a turnout there was.. There is no greater feeling in the world than being in a place filled with the ones you love. And that includes the ones not able to make it that night as well. I really do feel like the luckiest girl.. er, woman.. in the world to be blessed with the friends and family I have. And here's to 30 more years of good times together... hopefully filled with more bounce houses! Wink Wink!


That is me in the corner having SO.MUCH.FUN!

Paula Abdul & the Cartoon Cat

Well, friends.. Despite my greatest efforts, I have yet to scare this one off. This love train is chugging along, and I can't believe how perfect this man is for me. And yet so completely different from me at the same time. I am a night owl and he "naturally" wakes up everyday at 5 AM, which by the way I am still trying to grasp the concept of. I am easy breezy, and he is a fancy pants. He goes to the gym 2-3 times a day, and I am content with taking my dogs on a 30-minute walk maybe 2 or 3 times a week. I am notoriously late, and he is ALWAYS on time. Sometimes I feel like he is the one in the relationship with the biological clock.. every hour of the day is perfectly planned out in his head and he just goes goes goes, and I can't even seem to finish my to-do list from last year. And then there's that one little detail, I am youngish, and well, he is not..ish. We are the present day version of Paula Abdul and that little cartoon cat in the "Opposites Attract" video.

Sing it with me, "two steps forward.. I take two steps back.. we go together cause opposites attract, and you know.. it ain't fiction just a natural fact.. dodododooo.."

I really wonder sometimes how we make it work so easily, and then there are times when I can't believe I found someone just like me. Like when he calls to say, "Glee is on tonight.. don't start it without me." Or when we laugh so hard about the same stupid joke. Or when he calls after his kid's game, and I call after my nephew's and we brag about how great they did. Or when we are sharing a cheese platter and are both upset with the tiny amount of bread they give you. Or while he is driving and "Baby got Back" or some other silly song is blaring, he calls to sing it to me and then says, "you should have seen my moves right now... so awesome". Or when we both drink carrot juice and think it tastes just like dessert. Or my favorite, when he calls and says "I love you... Just wanted you to know" cause I was thinking the same thing at that same moment.

We go together, its simple as that.

GrumpyPants

So, I think its pretty safe to say, My brother and I are not meshing well these days. Me being the easy, breezy baby sister, and him being the grumpy, overprotective big brother doesn't bode well for us, it seems. But today I saw something so perfect that I had to share. Grumpypants is getting married in October and I came across his engagement pictures and as I was looking through them tears started welling up in my eyes. Because my brother looks so stinkin' happy. And I haven't seen that smile, or laugh in so long. And it makes me so happy that he has someone that makes him so happy, and a perfect little boy to brighten his days. We all hoped and prayed that this day would come. And here it is. So, so happy.

Do yourself a favor..

READ THIS BOOK.

Partly because it made me laugh out loud in the aisle of Target. Partly because it had me laughing out loud in bed till 1:30 am. But mostly because, after reading, I am pretty sure me and Tina Fey are actually the same person. And I'm kinda freaking out.

Yesterday

So, I think its safe to say I have entered uncharted territory here. I've had my fair share of experiences with men, but this newest one has thrown me for quite a loop. In the best way possible. But still, I have found myself saying and doing things I've never thought possible.

Case in point: Mr. Wonderful had a Crew Competition in San Diego this past weekend, so he was going to be out of town. Didn't think it would affect me, especially since we are in the newest stages of our relationship. (By George! Did I just say a relationship?! Stop the presses! Ha ha ha...) I was busy at work dealing with the mad crowds for March Madness so it wasn't like I would have time to see him anyway. But when the only thing I heard from him all weekend was a text that said "Thanks, xo"... I was annoyed. Okay, so annoyed isn't the word I'm looking for. I freaked. Freaked my mother freaking freak, as Ellen would say. I started second guessing everything. His feelings. My feelings. The fact that I actually had feelings. I was a mess. And while all this was going on, there was a teeny tiny part of my brain, or sanity, that said "Jamie, relax.. maybe he's really busy actually doing stuff. Maybe his phone isn't working. And most importantly, maybe you shouldn't freak out over a guy you've been seeing for a week."

My mom didn't help matters at all. She is the Negative Nancy, or as I call her, the Eeyore of the bunch, to put a damper on things. Saying things like "I'm just not sure how I feel about him going out of town so soon in your relationship. I mean, you've never seen his house. Or know where he lives. He could be married!" Or my personal favorite, "I just hope nothing happens to him before you guys can get serious." So when I heard nothing all weekend, I thought the worse. Mama brainwashed me into thinking he was either knocked overboard and floating out to sea, or having a rendezvous with his wife in some swanky hotel.

So Monday morning comes, I'm beyond irritated. I have a breakfast date with my Grandma, Aunts and Cousins who are all waiting eagerly to hear about my new love. And the last thing I want to talk about is him. I give them the short version that leaves them feeling unsettled, and not the detailed versions that I had given others that left them feeling elated.

And then, as if my day couldn't get any worse. I'm driving back from breakfast with my cousin, and I hear a loud noise and then a weird banging noise as I drive. I thought my tire exploded or I killed something. But it turned out it was just a huge bolt in my tire. Yes, friends, a bolt. And this tire being the one I purchased maybe two months ago. So I was more than excited to maybe have to buy a new one. And then, who decides to call at that very moment I am pulling over to the side of the road? Yep. Him. Mr. Wonderful who has been M.I.A for the last three days. Seeeeriously. What are the odds?

So instead of questioning the "Houdini Act" we are now discussing tires. I don't know if he sensed the tension in my voice, or maybe he thought it was tension over the bolt, and not him. But I was still irritated. Clearly. And later on in the day, when we finally had a chance to talk I was too drained to even make an issue about it. He apologized for not calling at all cause his phone literally died, as in permanently. And I brushed it off and said, "Oh, no worries. Its fine." And even as the words were coming out of my mouth, I couldn't believe I was saying it.

So then cut to me hours later at work. I'm in the kitchen when one of my coworkers says, "Your boyfriend is here." and my stomach jumps. I go out to see him, and am reminded instantly how much he drives me bonkers. His smile, his big strong hugs. The sweet way he can look at me, say a simple "Hi" and make me melt. Uhh.. big sappy mess. Insert fork. Done and done. I end up admitting to him I lied, and was not fine that he didn't call. That I actually was a basket case. And then I got nervous I said too much too soon. I mean, I went from a 5 year relationship where we never spoke of our feelings, to a week long one where I am having verbal diarrhea non-stop. Probably not the best of metaphors, but oh wells. And that's when he admitted to me that he got freaked out when I said I didn't care we didn't talk. Because he thought maybe he was more invested than I was. So it all ended up working out. We were there smiling and falling in love, all the while my tables that needed beverages, or maybe food or the check went unnoticed. Oopsies. It was incredibly hard to focus, friends. But I managed.

And I wish I could say that's where the story ended.. But this is me we are talking about here, so there is one last twist to this story.

Skip decided to pay me a visit last night as well. And where, out of ALL the tables in the restaurant do you think he sat?? Yep, directly in front of Mr. Wonderful's table. And to top it all off, he sat in the seat which allowed them to be facing each other at all times. I WISH I WAS MAKING THIS STUFF UP. My luck, I tell you. So Skip sees me talking to him, Mr. Wonderful sees me talking to Skip. Everybody sees everybody. And granted, the two of them don't know each other. Or even know how I know each of the other. But it was about to get really interesting.

I walk up to Mr. Wonderful to see how he's doing and he says, "I just sent you a text. I know you're working but I just had something on my mind.. I just see you at work, in your element, see you talking to different people and I just wonder why you don't date guys like that. You know, ones more your age." And then he motions towards Skip. (FYI.. Mr. Wonderful is a teeny, tiny (okay, lots) older than me.) I was stunned. Dumbfounded. Was this really happening to me?! I asked him if we were really gonna have this serious of a talk while I was bussing tables and serving beers. And he apologized, and told me that he really, likes me. Already cares about me so much, and wants nothing but the best for me. And I melted again. Because I can't remember a time when any guy I've dated, older or my age, ever treated me the way he does. And so I told him I've tried dating guys my age. And the truth is, they are retards, Skip included. Yes, he is adorable and kisses amazing, but he is all about the ladies and isn't settling down any time soon.

And to make matters worse, apparently he overheard Skip and his buddies talking. And they were of course talking about girls. So the next time I walk up to Mr. Wonderful, he is now enraged with Skip and his buddies for being disrespectful towards women. And is fighting the urge to say something and/or hit them in the face. So, I think its pretty safe to say I can never tell Mr. Wonderful about Mr. Skip.

At the end of the day (literally), it all worked itself out. Mr. Wonderful was able to calm down after a kiss or two, and is still wonderful. And Skip skipped himself out of my work and off to go meet some ladies. So everybody wins. Well, maybe not my tire. That little guy is a goner for sure.

Stay tuned my friends, life is sure getting interesting. ;)

YEP!

So. In. Love.

Perfection.

I've been sitting here staring at a blank screen for seven minutes now.. I have so much to say. But I'm so scared to say it. I don't want to jinx anything. But at the same time, I don't know how it could be jinxed. Cause he's perfect.

He is a man. A handsome, and sexy man. He works hard. He is generous. He is thoughtful. He is respectful. He opens doors. And walks me to my car. And after we say goodbye, he calls me two seconds later just to say hello. He is a father, and will talk endlessly about how great his kids are. He'll never miss one of his kids games, and last night he took his daughter to dinner. Just the two of them. He is kind. He is funny. He is humble. He goes to church every sunday, and to his nephews soccer games. He is a man. A real man.

And by some miracle, or act of God, this man likes me. He gets me. He thinks I'm a "10", and a Cover Girl, and "loves to hang out with me". And the other day, I thought I hurt myself during my "spring cleaning extravaganza", he called me and texted me to see if I was okay, cause he was genuinely worried about me. And then he calls to say goodnight.

Tonight we have our first official date, and I'm trying not to freak out. But all I can think about is if he's gonna kiss me. Cause once that happens, its all over.


Stick a fork in me, friends. I am Done.

DIBS!!

So, my friends.. I am in trouble. Again. Or still. I can't keep track anymore.

Granted I told myself I was "40-50 % single" over the last five years, now I am taking advantage of the new "100% single" me and I feel like a fat kid in an all-you-can-eat cake shop. I'm pretty sure I have whiplash from all the guys making my head turn. And I'm pretty sure I have called "Dibs" on every attractive, single male that has stepped foot inside my work, or better yet, on this planet.

Here are a select few:

Ryan Gosling- Okay, so I don't think it was necessary to call "Dibs" on him because it is pretty clear that he is my soulmate. I mean, hello, he has a Disneyland pass and is obsessed with wearing Onesie pajamas. Plus he's been known to date quirky brunettes. Seriously, you can't fight fate.

Jake Gyllenhall- Or however you spell his last name... mostly because he looks like he'd be a really good kisser. And next to wearing onesies at Disneyland, kissing is one of my favorite pastimes.

Damon from Vampire Diaries- Because he is my most favorite vampire. Better yet, I call "Dibs" on all the guys on Vampire Diaries. Yep. I said it.

John, the Pelican Pale guy- He is, in fact, a real person. And by real, I mean a person I have actually met. He comes into my work. Usually he sits by himself, or with some buddies. But never with a lady. I keep my distance because he is an older gentleman, and I am trying to rid myself of the Silver Foxes. But the other day as he was leaving, he walked by me while I was at the computer, gave me a little pat on the tush, and said "Bye baby.." and I lost all brain function. Dibs, dibs, dibs.

Hot Eugene- I know what you're thinking.. Hot Eugene? Oxymoron? Could someone with such a name be that hot? And the answer, my friends, is yes. Oh yes. Eugene works down the street from my work and whenever me and the girls from work go in there, he always greets me with a kiss on the cheek and a "Hi baby" and I melt. (I'm starting to sense a correlation with the word "baby" and a loss in brain function here...) Anyway, I always kept my distance because Eugene had a girlfriend, but the other day I received a text message from a friend that said "BTW Eugene is now SINGLE" and I freaked out. People at work thought maybe I won some sort of contest, or got a million dollar tip the way I was jumping up and down screaming.. But nope. Just a text and I was like a 13-year old girl who just met Justin Beiber. It was unreal.

Skip- Yep, as much as I try to fight it. There is just something about this guy that I can't shake. Could be that smile. Or his perfect kiss. Or how he likes to have cuddle parties. (Sigh..) So yeah, definite dibs on that one.


So there's a little insight to how I spend my days lately... After completing my "Jenny Craig for the Soul" and shedding 185 pounds of weight off my shoulders (also known as, The Captain), I have a bounce in my step and a flush in my cheeks. And it feels amazing!

This fat kid is calling "Dibs" on life... stay tuned for the details! :)

My Valentine...Sort of.

So here are some pictures of the little Budders for Valentine's Day. I seriously can't believe how big he is, and how fast he has grown into a little man that makes us pee our pants on a regular basis... However, you wouldn't guess that with the serious pose. But hey, this kid takes love seriously. And his ice cream cones. Most boys carry around cars... He prefers these. Go figure.



Clearly the little man has learned a few things from his Daddy.. watch out ladies! ;)



Love you Budders!!

A week in review...

Thursday, Feb 3rd: Start the big task of making my very first wedding cake. Cake that is supposed to feed over 150+ guests. How does one even begin to calculate how much cake is actually needed is beyond me.. But just a little FYI.. Baked 5 tiers, with 2 layers on each tier. Pan sizes ranging from 16"- 5". This puppy was massive. An played a little game of phone tag with the Captain all day.

Friday, Feb 4th: "Happy Birthday, Monica!" Even though I would have loved to be in Studio City with my Besters on her birthday, I had a cake to assemble and decorate. After 10 hours of slicing, stacking, crumb coating, frosting, frosting, and more frosting. We put our final touches on the cake and I felt a huge sense of accomplishment. And a huge wave of exhaustion. And then I got two text messages. One from my mom saying that Justine was back in the hospital. And the other from my sister saying how Justine was in the hospital because she was wasted and perhaps also on some sort of drugs. 13 years old. And a Diabetic. Wonderful. Phone tag still in effect, so I send the Captain a text telling him about Justine. Get no response. (Insert eye roll here.)

Saturday, Feb 5th: "The Big Reveal!" Woke up late, and was on the phone all morning trying to get all the info on what happened with Justine. Still in shock that she is playing with booze, and not with Bratz. Still no word from the Captain. Slight feelings of anger starting to brew. Go to drop off massive confectionary concoction at reception site, only to find that one of the tiers has started to sink. Start to panic, slightly. As we were walking in with the cake, the lady that works there says, "Its leaning... do you know its leaning?" Thank you, Captain Obvious. We try to salvage it, but then I say, "It is what it is, and we'll just display it at an angle and no one will know the difference." Remind myself that this cake is for my cousin's wedding. My cousin who is 18, pregnant, and getting married to someone she has been with since December. Of 2010. So I think this little "leaning tower of buttercream" is the least of her worries right now. Race home to get showered and beautified for a wedding. Go to wedding, which is outdoor evening wedding... in February. Wedding starts 45 minutes late, at which point they have the same instrumental version of "Love Song" by Sara Bareilles playing on repeat. I heard it play 11 times, which is after I realized that it was playing on repeat, and began to count. I literally almost lost my mind to that song. Anyways, so the wedding was a success. We laughed, we cried, we danced, we froze. And then it was off to bed. Still no word from the captain. Grrrrrr....

Sunday, Feb 6th: "Go Packers!" Luckily I was scheduled to work the game, so I didn't have to wake up early. Was able to relax, walk the boys, and sit in silence before walking into the madness of Superbowl. Still no word from the Captain. Very agitated and trying not to take it out on any males that happened to be sitting at any of the tables I'm serving. As if I wasn't feeling rejected enough, as luck would have it, my last table was actually my very first rejection experience, the one and only, Flannel Phil! Lucky for him, I think he was too drunk to remember who I was. And lucky for me, I was able to get another look at him and totally change my mind about his gorgeousness. Dodged a bullet on that one, phew!

Monday, Feb 7th: Agitation has turned to rage, and when the Captain actually calls in the morning, I reject it. I tell myself, I will let him squirm for a day before accepting his apology for being insensitive. Monday is usually our dinner and movie night. So I revel in the fact that he is probably bummed sitting at home. While I am bundled up on the couch with Gossip Girl and Pretty Little Liars.

Tuesday, Feb 8th: Have a busy day in the office and running errands, that I don't really realize that he hasn't called 'til the evening. And then I get pissed. I'm sitting at home cheering myself up with Ellen Degeneres and Nate Berkus episodes, and then I get a phone call from work friends to go Karaoke. I jump at the chance to scream out my frustrations and throw on some jeans and Uggs and am out the door. Only to find out that nobody has Karaoke on Tuesdays anymore. But luckily we found a place with 80's music and I danced my little heart out and sweated like you wouldn't believe. Uggs were not the wisest choice that night.

Wednesday, Feb 9th: Seriously!! So over this man. I can't even remember the last conversation we had. Don't know why on Earth he would be mad and ignoring me?! Unless of course he found out about me kissing Skip, haha, but that is beside the point here. I have now reached the point of extreme stubbornness, which is new to me. Apparently, the Zodiac has changed, and I am no longer a Gemini, but now a Taurus. Not that I am one to follow the Zodiac strictly, but I'm embracing this Bullheadedness! Screw him! I went out to happy hour with some girls, and as luck would have it, the place was full of businessmen! Successful men that wear suits?? Umm.. yes please! Out with the old and in with the new..

And now as for Today, Feb 10th, I am feeling stronger and still a bit angry. Mostly at myself for letting this man consume so much of my life so far. I already made plans with my little lady for Valentine's Day, so I won't let him take anymore time away from me.

"All the single ladies, alll the single ladies... put your hands up!"

Men

So, the other day I ran into someone from my past. This particular someone being a person that I may or may not have lied to and told him I was moving to Boston, in order to end whatever it was we were doing. The same person who I kept running into after I apparently was supposed to be living on the other side of the country. Anyways, its been like over six years since I saw this person.

So, imagine my surprise when I am working and someone grabs my arm, and says, "Oh my gosh! Its you!" He then proceeded to hug me and kiss my cheeks like not even one day had passed. And then he looked me in the eyes and said, "Just because I don't move mountains, doesn't mean I don't care for you. I just think the world of you." He then sent me a text that said "Let's make sure we kiss tonight..xoxo." Six years, people.

Cut to Monday night.. Its "dinner and movie night" for me and the Captain. The Captain being my pain in the ass for the last five years. I walk into his house as he is making dinner, and he proceeds to call me a "Junior Shiloh".. Shiloh being his dog who is pretty much blind and always in the way. And then on the way to the movie, he thinks he's being funny when he calls me "Gayme" or "Lamie" and when I tell him that I am tired, his response is, "Why? You didn't even do anything active today!". Five years, people.

Is it just me, or do I choose the wrong men?

Remember...

Remember how I was sitting on a curb talking one day, and somebody gave me money cause they thought I was homeless.

2011 is totally gonna be my year.