Oh, Life. I think we need to talk. Just when I think I have a handle on you, you go and throw me for another loop. And today, you were in rare form. I must say, you almost had me. And then I have to remind myself that everything happens for a reason, and everything happens in its time.
When I woke up this morning, I had the intention of having a nice, relaxing day off. Just a carefree day with my best friend, and a nice evening to myself. I've been stretched so thin lately and have been feeling so run down. I thought, just one day, and I'll be back in the game. And that's pretty much where it went wrong.
For starters, I woke up on the right side of the bed, but way too late. Luckily, someone called me to wake me up. Unfortunately, it was my daily dose of negativity from my "friend". He was calling to tell me he woke up at 3 am with a pounding headache, like the one I had a few days ago. Although he didn't actually say the words, I'm pretty sure he was blaming me for it. So the right side of the bed, was now quickly turning into the wrong foot.
I was intending to be at my friend's house, in Cypress, by 11:30. But around 12 I was still at home getting my things together. Call it procrastination, but in retrospect, now I just call it fate. Had I gotten out of the house any earlier, I wouldn't have seen little Bax wake from his slumber, cry a yelp of pain, and run out of the house. I would not have found him hiding in the backyard. I would not have wondered why he was acting so strange. And most importantly, had I left any earlier, I would not have crossed paths with my brother to ask him to go see if Bax was merely acting like a brat, or if something was legitimately wrong with him.
Because something was wrong with him. I didn't know it at the time, but Bax, the little detective, had gotten into some rat poisoning the night before. And the reason he was acting so strange, was that it was being digested in his body and slowly killing him. I didn't know this until I was in LA with my friend, and nowhere near my baby that was in trouble.
I was trying to get a hold of everyone and anyone to check on him while I was gone. We were stuck in LA during rush hour traffic. So getting home soon wasn't an option. But no one was available. And then, my Dad saved the day. He was going to take Bax to the hospital and see what was wrong. I felt such a sense of relief, for a small moment, until my Dad called to say, "I just need you to brace yourself for the worst. I'm gonna take him to the hospital, but it doesn't sound good, Jamie.." And I felt powerless all over again.
Its a funny thing. Although I did not birth Baxter, he is every bit a child to me. And I felt like the worst mother in the world. To not be there while he was in pain. To not be able to pet him and tell him that I love him and everything is gonna be okay. To not be there for his last breath. I was dying with him. And I kept telling myself, there's no way I can handle kids someday if I can't even handle this.
But luckily, My Dad and Chris were there with him. And luckily, they had made it in time. After getting his stomach pumped and system flushed, he was gonna make it after all. But in his examination, they took x-rays and found that his whole back was bruised all over. My Dad and Chris had figured out later that a shelf that had the rat poison, and also laundry detergent bottles, had fallen on Baxter and that's how he got to it in the first place. Poor guy. Can't help the fact he loves to eat.
So, in the end, it all worked out. And looking back over the day's events, I feel so lucky. What seems at times like mishaps and distractions, might actually be the very things that save you or the ones you love. Me and my brother haven't been on the best of terms lately. And Chris said that he wasn't even supposed to be home today, but he had two clients cancel on him. So had he not been home, I wouldn't have had anyone check on him. And would've come home to find the biggest heartbreak of all. But instead, I came home to my favorite thing ever. A wagging tail, and a wiggling bottom. And now, I have so much more love and gratitude for my brother and father. I have two men in my life that will drop everything and be there for me. And a puppy that won't stop kissing his Mommy.
Alright, Life. Maybe you're not so bad after all.
