Seriously! What are the odds?

Us

2011-11-09T14:17:00.000-08:00

This is the face of the man of my dreams. The man who makes me laugh my butt off. The man who makes my day from hell the best day ever, just by walking in the room. The man who can make my eyes well up with just the sound of his voice. And a man that when he kisses me, I can feel it all the way in the tips of my little painted toes.

This man is all mine. Creepy biker mustache and all.

Per.fec.tion. :)

A Bittersweet Bargain

2011-09-15T15:24:00.000-07:00

So friends, its official, I am heartbroken. BORDERS is closed and I have officially lost my hideaway. Gone are the days when I would get lost in the biography section, or feed my addiction with a beautiful cookbook, or just wander around the store taking in the peace and quiet that comes with being surrounded by books. So I went one last time, to stock up on some books, so I wouldn't have to quit this place cold turkey. That the goodbye wouldn't really be official until I finished my last book. And although I have to admit being my mother's daughter and loving a good deal, there was just something about it that also felt like highway robbery.

I probably would have spent/saved a lot more, but I had to get to work and also I was running out of arms to hold them all. And there isn't much space left on my bedside table. But in the end, it was well worth it.

Goodbye Borders, thanks for the memories and you will surely be missed!

Falling From The Wrong Tree...

2011-08-02T14:30:00.000-07:00

So, way back when, when I first moved to my place, the backyard was a bit of a concrete jungle. There was a small strip of grass, or weeds is more like it that the dogs would do their business and such. In an effort to try and rid the backyard of unwelcome visitors, such as possums, squirrels and the occasional ferret, my Dad tore out all the weeds and cypress trees and made a cute little garden area for me to exercise my green thumb. That garden was booming with tomatoes, corn, herbs and a jillion jalapenos. Who knew one little plant would grow so much! We ate like kings and queens off that little garden. It was awesome.

But as the seasons passed, the plants gave off less and less and eventually that little garden area became overgrown with weeds. So much so that the weeds were almost as tall as me. With all the rain we had, I had no idea how bad the weeds were until it was too late. And one day I tried to tackle them myself, and almost threw my back out. So in stepped Pops to save the day. It looked amazing after he was done with it, and he wasted no time in hassling me about taking care of the new crops. I promised him I would water it daily, but that wasn't enough, he would stop by in the mornings to check or re-water the little seedlings. I was starting to get a complex. Thinking he cared about the veggies more than me. But after a while, he stopped coming by to check and trusted me with his little offsprings.

So when everything started coming to fruition, I thought it was only fair that he get the first of the crop. He put his blood, sweat and tears into that puppy, so I was so happy to show him the amazingness that he and I created. I have to say I do have a bit of a green thumb. The size of the veggies that are coming out of this thing are unreal. Maybe its my early morning waterings, maybe the occasional veggie boost formula I give them, or possibly the morning tunes I sing as I shower them... who knows, but whatever it is, it's working! I've never seen a cucumber, zucchini or crookneck squash so big. EVER.

So imagine my surprise when I see the veggies at my parents house like a week later, untouched. And past their peak of freshness. I was confused. Who wouldn't want a ginormous garden fresh veggie as opposed to a puny store bought one? Why would you pay for something that you can get for free?

His response? "It smelled funny. When I cut it open it smelled like dog urine."

I flipped. For one, there is a four foot fence surrounding the garden so there is no way for them to get in there. Two, I washed the veggies with a wash before I gave them to him, so they were clean. And three, this is the second batch of crops to come out of this garden and he had no problem eating the first ones.

It was only when I said as a joke, "You can thank the boys for the nitrogen rich soil!" that he suddenly refuses to eat anything that comes out of the garden. This coming from a man that eats off roach coaches and food trucks at jobsites. The man who eats sushi, and taught me to love a medium rare steak. The man who watches Anthony Bourdain travel the world through his stomach and wishes he was alongside with him.

I just couldn't believe it. I wonder sometimes where I get my level head and saneness. Because its definitely not from him, and lord knows its not from my worry wort of a mother. I think its safe to say that this apple may have fallen from a different tree altogether.

Oh well, they keep life interesting. And if any one is interested in some garden fresh goodies, stop on by! The farmer is in!

Silly Love Songs

2011-07-12T13:53:00.000-07:00

So back in the days of Captain Boring, we had a recurring argument about The Beatles. He said that John Lennon was the only one with any talent, and I used to get SO mad, cause Paul McCartney was my favorite one. Not that John wasn't talented.. I love his songs. But Paul, now he really knew how to write a love song. I would go on and on about how "Silly Love Songs" was one of my all time favorite songs, and the Captain would tell me I was retarded and had no taste in music. I would tell him you can't appreciate a good love song if you have no heart, so he just couldn't understand where I was coming from. And then, we'd agree to disagree.

Cut to present day. I am at work, and Mr. Wonderful calls me. Its super busy so I can't listen to the message until I'm walking to my car. And imagine my surprise when the message is my sweet love singing me "Silly Love Songs". Hearing him sing the words " I loooooooove youuuuuuu..." over and over again and then turning up the volume to sing along to the music. Well, friends.. it was perfection.

He just gets me. He understands that although our feelings for each other are very serious, sometimes a silly little love song can convey just as much. I always knew that he was out there. Finally. He is mine.

Thirty Shmirty...

2011-06-17T13:22:00.000-07:00

Well, friends... I'm officially thirty. Gone are the carefree 20-something days, and now ahead are the domesticated, settled down days full of hubbies (Well, hopefully only one hubby) and kids. Or so I was told in about 50% of my birthday cards. So I celebrated my birthday the only way I knew how... Immaturely. I pushed aside the urges from family and friends to "just have a nice, mellow dinner somewhere" and opted for a fun-tastic extravaganza of silliness. Because if you looked up those words on wikipedia or in a dictionary, I would want my picture to appear. When my mom asked about the "theme" so she could buy decorations, my answer was "AWESOMENESS"... which frustrated her beyond belief. But I couldn't put a label on how I felt.. I am not Over The Hill, and I'm not the type of girl to wear a pink frilly dress and a tiara. And my Dad just couldn't grasp the concept of a Bounce House... "Jamie, there aren't even going to be that many kids there...." "Dad!! I'M the kid!"

But in the end, it was a complete success. That was hands down the best birthday I've ever had. And although at times I was a little overwhelmed at how great of a turnout there was.. There is no greater feeling in the world than being in a place filled with the ones you love. And that includes the ones not able to make it that night as well. I really do feel like the luckiest girl.. er, woman.. in the world to be blessed with the friends and family I have. And here's to 30 more years of good times together... hopefully filled with more bounce houses! Wink Wink!

That is me in the corner having SO.MUCH.FUN!

Paula Abdul & the Cartoon Cat

2011-05-19T16:26:00.000-07:00

Well, friends.. Despite my greatest efforts, I have yet to scare this one off. This love train is chugging along, and I can't believe how perfect this man is for me. And yet so completely different from me at the same time. I am a night owl and he "naturally" wakes up everyday at 5 AM, which by the way I am still trying to grasp the concept of. I am easy breezy, and he is a fancy pants. He goes to the gym 2-3 times a day, and I am content with taking my dogs on a 30-minute walk maybe 2 or 3 times a week. I am notoriously late, and he is ALWAYS on time. Sometimes I feel like he is the one in the relationship with the biological clock.. every hour of the day is perfectly planned out in his head and he just goes goes goes, and I can't even seem to finish my to-do list from last year. And then there's that one little detail, I am youngish, and well, he is not..ish. We are the present day version of Paula Abdul and that little cartoon cat in the "Opposites Attract" video.

Sing it with me, "two steps forward.. I take two steps back.. we go together cause opposites attract, and you know.. it ain't fiction just a natural fact.. dodododooo.."

I really wonder sometimes how we make it work so easily, and then there are times when I can't believe I found someone just like me. Like when he calls to say, "Glee is on tonight.. don't start it without me." Or when we laugh so hard about the same stupid joke. Or when he calls after his kid's game, and I call after my nephew's and we brag about how great they did. Or when we are sharing a cheese platter and are both upset with the tiny amount of bread they give you. Or while he is driving and "Baby got Back" or some other silly song is blaring, he calls to sing it to me and then says, "you should have seen my moves right now... so awesome". Or when we both drink carrot juice and think it tastes just like dessert. Or my favorite, when he calls and says "I love you... Just wanted you to know" cause I was thinking the same thing at that same moment.

We go together, its simple as that.

GrumpyPants

2011-05-05T14:26:00.001-07:00

So, I think its pretty safe to say, My brother and I are not meshing well these days. Me being the easy, breezy baby sister, and him being the grumpy, overprotective big brother doesn't bode well for us, it seems. But today I saw something so perfect that I had to share. Grumpypants is getting married in October and I came across his engagement pictures and as I was looking through them tears started welling up in my eyes. Because my brother looks so stinkin' happy. And I haven't seen that smile, or laugh in so long. And it makes me so happy that he has someone that makes him so happy, and a perfect little boy to brighten his days. We all hoped and prayed that this day would come. And here it is. So, so happy.

Do yourself a favor..

2011-04-28T14:57:00.000-07:00

READ THIS BOOK.

Partly because it made me laugh out loud in the aisle of Target. Partly because it had me laughing out loud in bed till 1:30 am. But mostly because, after reading, I am pretty sure me and Tina Fey are actually the same person. And I'm kinda freaking out.

Yesterday

2011-04-05T12:30:00.000-07:00

So, I think its safe to say I have entered uncharted territory here. I've had my fair share of experiences with men, but this newest one has thrown me for quite a loop. In the best way possible. But still, I have found myself saying and doing things I've never thought possible.

Case in point: Mr. Wonderful had a Crew Competition in San Diego this past weekend, so he was going to be out of town. Didn't think it would affect me, especially since we are in the newest stages of our relationship. (By George! Did I just say a relationship?! Stop the presses! Ha ha ha...) I was busy at work dealing with the mad crowds for March Madness so it wasn't like I would have time to see him anyway. But when the only thing I heard from him all weekend was a text that said "Thanks, xo"... I was annoyed. Okay, so annoyed isn't the word I'm looking for. I freaked. Freaked my mother freaking freak, as Ellen would say. I started second guessing everything. His feelings. My feelings. The fact that I actually had feelings. I was a mess. And while all this was going on, there was a teeny tiny part of my brain, or sanity, that said "Jamie, relax.. maybe he's really busy actually doing stuff. Maybe his phone isn't working. And most importantly, maybe you shouldn't freak out over a guy you've been seeing for a week."

My mom didn't help matters at all. She is the Negative Nancy, or as I call her, the Eeyore of the bunch, to put a damper on things. Saying things like "I'm just not sure how I feel about him going out of town so soon in your relationship. I mean, you've never seen his house. Or know where he lives. He could be married!" Or my personal favorite, "I just hope nothing happens to him before you guys can get serious." So when I heard nothing all weekend, I thought the worse. Mama brainwashed me into thinking he was either knocked overboard and floating out to sea, or having a rendezvous with his wife in some swanky hotel.

So Monday morning comes, I'm beyond irritated. I have a breakfast date with my Grandma, Aunts and Cousins who are all waiting eagerly to hear about my new love. And the last thing I want to talk about is him. I give them the short version that leaves them feeling unsettled, and not the detailed versions that I had given others that left them feeling elated.

And then, as if my day couldn't get any worse. I'm driving back from breakfast with my cousin, and I hear a loud noise and then a weird banging noise as I drive. I thought my tire exploded or I killed something. But it turned out it was just a huge bolt in my tire. Yes, friends, a bolt. And this tire being the one I purchased maybe two months ago. So I was more than excited to maybe have to buy a new one. And then, who decides to call at that very moment I am pulling over to the side of the road? Yep. Him. Mr. Wonderful who has been M.I.A for the last three days. Seeeeriously. What are the odds?

So instead of questioning the "Houdini Act" we are now discussing tires. I don't know if he sensed the tension in my voice, or maybe he thought it was tension over the bolt, and not him. But I was still irritated. Clearly. And later on in the day, when we finally had a chance to talk I was too drained to even make an issue about it. He apologized for not calling at all cause his phone literally died, as in permanently. And I brushed it off and said, "Oh, no worries. Its fine." And even as the words were coming out of my mouth, I couldn't believe I was saying it.

So then cut to me hours later at work. I'm in the kitchen when one of my coworkers says, "Your boyfriend is here." and my stomach jumps. I go out to see him, and am reminded instantly how much he drives me bonkers. His smile, his big strong hugs. The sweet way he can look at me, say a simple "Hi" and make me melt. Uhh.. big sappy mess. Insert fork. Done and done. I end up admitting to him I lied, and was not fine that he didn't call. That I actually was a basket case. And then I got nervous I said too much too soon. I mean, I went from a 5 year relationship where we never spoke of our feelings, to a week long one where I am having verbal diarrhea non-stop. Probably not the best of metaphors, but oh wells. And that's when he admitted to me that he got freaked out when I said I didn't care we didn't talk. Because he thought maybe he was more invested than I was. So it all ended up working out. We were there smiling and falling in love, all the while my tables that needed beverages, or maybe food or the check went unnoticed. Oopsies. It was incredibly hard to focus, friends. But I managed.

And I wish I could say that's where the story ended.. But this is me we are talking about here, so there is one last twist to this story.

Skip decided to pay me a visit last night as well. And where, out of ALL the tables in the restaurant do you think he sat?? Yep, directly in front of Mr. Wonderful's table. And to top it all off, he sat in the seat which allowed them to be facing each other at all times. I WISH I WAS MAKING THIS STUFF UP. My luck, I tell you. So Skip sees me talking to him, Mr. Wonderful sees me talking to Skip. Everybody sees everybody. And granted, the two of them don't know each other. Or even know how I know each of the other. But it was about to get really interesting.

I walk up to Mr. Wonderful to see how he's doing and he says, "I just sent you a text. I know you're working but I just had something on my mind.. I just see you at work, in your element, see you talking to different people and I just wonder why you don't date guys like that. You know, ones more your age." And then he motions towards Skip. (FYI.. Mr. Wonderful is a teeny, tiny (okay, lots) older than me.) I was stunned. Dumbfounded. Was this really happening to me?! I asked him if we were really gonna have this serious of a talk while I was bussing tables and serving beers. And he apologized, and told me that he really, likes me. Already cares about me so much, and wants nothing but the best for me. And I melted again. Because I can't remember a time when any guy I've dated, older or my age, ever treated me the way he does. And so I told him I've tried dating guys my age. And the truth is, they are retards, Skip included. Yes, he is adorable and kisses amazing, but he is all about the ladies and isn't settling down any time soon.

And to make matters worse, apparently he overheard Skip and his buddies talking. And they were of course talking about girls. So the next time I walk up to Mr. Wonderful, he is now enraged with Skip and his buddies for being disrespectful towards women. And is fighting the urge to say something and/or hit them in the face. So, I think its pretty safe to say I can never tell Mr. Wonderful about Mr. Skip.

At the end of the day (literally), it all worked itself out. Mr. Wonderful was able to calm down after a kiss or two, and is still wonderful. And Skip skipped himself out of my work and off to go meet some ladies. So everybody wins. Well, maybe not my tire. That little guy is a goner for sure.

Stay tuned my friends, life is sure getting interesting. ;)

YEP!

2011-03-30T14:24:00.000-07:00

So. In. Love.

Perfection.

2011-03-29T13:13:00.000-07:00

I've been sitting here staring at a blank screen for seven minutes now.. I have so much to say. But I'm so scared to say it. I don't want to jinx anything. But at the same time, I don't know how it could be jinxed. Cause he's perfect.

He is a man. A handsome, and sexy man. He works hard. He is generous. He is thoughtful. He is respectful. He opens doors. And walks me to my car. And after we say goodbye, he calls me two seconds later just to say hello. He is a father, and will talk endlessly about how great his kids are. He'll never miss one of his kids games, and last night he took his daughter to dinner. Just the two of them. He is kind. He is funny. He is humble. He goes to church every sunday, and to his nephews soccer games. He is a man. A real man.

And by some miracle, or act of God, this man likes me. He gets me. He thinks I'm a "10", and a Cover Girl, and "loves to hang out with me". And the other day, I thought I hurt myself during my "spring cleaning extravaganza", he called me and texted me to see if I was okay, cause he was genuinely worried about me. And then he calls to say goodnight.

Tonight we have our first official date, and I'm trying not to freak out. But all I can think about is if he's gonna kiss me. Cause once that happens, its all over.

Stick a fork in me, friends. I am Done.

DIBS!!

2011-03-15T14:14:00.000-07:00

So, my friends.. I am in trouble. Again. Or still. I can't keep track anymore.

Granted I told myself I was "40-50 % single" over the last five years, now I am taking advantage of the new "100% single" me and I feel like a fat kid in an all-you-can-eat cake shop. I'm pretty sure I have whiplash from all the guys making my head turn. And I'm pretty sure I have called "Dibs" on every attractive, single male that has stepped foot inside my work, or better yet, on this planet.

Here are a select few:

Ryan Gosling- Okay, so I don't think it was necessary to call "Dibs" on him because it is pretty clear that he is my soulmate. I mean, hello, he has a Disneyland pass and is obsessed with wearing Onesie pajamas. Plus he's been known to date quirky brunettes. Seriously, you can't fight fate.

Jake Gyllenhall- Or however you spell his last name... mostly because he looks like he'd be a really good kisser. And next to wearing onesies at Disneyland, kissing is one of my favorite pastimes.

Damon from Vampire Diaries- Because he is my most favorite vampire. Better yet, I call "Dibs" on all the guys on Vampire Diaries. Yep. I said it.

John, the Pelican Pale guy- He is, in fact, a real person. And by real, I mean a person I have actually met. He comes into my work. Usually he sits by himself, or with some buddies. But never with a lady. I keep my distance because he is an older gentleman, and I am trying to rid myself of the Silver Foxes. But the other day as he was leaving, he walked by me while I was at the computer, gave me a little pat on the tush, and said "Bye baby.." and I lost all brain function. Dibs, dibs, dibs.

Hot Eugene- I know what you're thinking.. Hot Eugene? Oxymoron? Could someone with such a name be that hot? And the answer, my friends, is yes. Oh yes. Eugene works down the street from my work and whenever me and the girls from work go in there, he always greets me with a kiss on the cheek and a "Hi baby" and I melt. (I'm starting to sense a correlation with the word "baby" and a loss in brain function here...) Anyway, I always kept my distance because Eugene had a girlfriend, but the other day I received a text message from a friend that said "BTW Eugene is now SINGLE" and I freaked out. People at work thought maybe I won some sort of contest, or got a million dollar tip the way I was jumping up and down screaming.. But nope. Just a text and I was like a 13-year old girl who just met Justin Beiber. It was unreal.

Skip- Yep, as much as I try to fight it. There is just something about this guy that I can't shake. Could be that smile. Or his perfect kiss. Or how he likes to have cuddle parties. (Sigh..) So yeah, definite dibs on that one.

So there's a little insight to how I spend my days lately... After completing my "Jenny Craig for the Soul" and shedding 185 pounds of weight off my shoulders (also known as, The Captain), I have a bounce in my step and a flush in my cheeks. And it feels amazing!

This fat kid is calling "Dibs" on life... stay tuned for the details! :)

My Valentine...Sort of.

2011-02-16T17:12:00.000-08:00

So here are some pictures of the little Budders for Valentine's Day. I seriously can't believe how big he is, and how fast he has grown into a little man that makes us pee our pants on a regular basis... However, you wouldn't guess that with the serious pose. But hey, this kid takes love seriously. And his ice cream cones. Most boys carry around cars... He prefers these. Go figure.

Clearly the little man has learned a few things from his Daddy.. watch out ladies! ;)

Love you Budders!!

A week in review...

2011-02-10T13:40:00.000-08:00

Thursday, Feb 3rd: Start the big task of making my very first wedding cake. Cake that is supposed to feed over 150+ guests. How does one even begin to calculate how much cake is actually needed is beyond me.. But just a little FYI.. Baked 5 tiers, with 2 layers on each tier. Pan sizes ranging from 16"- 5". This puppy was massive. An played a little game of phone tag with the Captain all day.

Friday, Feb 4th: "Happy Birthday, Monica!" Even though I would have loved to be in Studio City with my Besters on her birthday, I had a cake to assemble and decorate. After 10 hours of slicing, stacking, crumb coating, frosting, frosting, and more frosting. We put our final touches on the cake and I felt a huge sense of accomplishment. And a huge wave of exhaustion. And then I got two text messages. One from my mom saying that Justine was back in the hospital. And the other from my sister saying how Justine was in the hospital because she was wasted and perhaps also on some sort of drugs. 13 years old. And a Diabetic. Wonderful. Phone tag still in effect, so I send the Captain a text telling him about Justine. Get no response. (Insert eye roll here.)

Saturday, Feb 5th: "The Big Reveal!" Woke up late, and was on the phone all morning trying to get all the info on what happened with Justine. Still in shock that she is playing with booze, and not with Bratz. Still no word from the Captain. Slight feelings of anger starting to brew. Go to drop off massive confectionary concoction at reception site, only to find that one of the tiers has started to sink. Start to panic, slightly. As we were walking in with the cake, the lady that works there says, "Its leaning... do you know its leaning?" Thank you, Captain Obvious. We try to salvage it, but then I say, "It is what it is, and we'll just display it at an angle and no one will know the difference." Remind myself that this cake is for my cousin's wedding. My cousin who is 18, pregnant, and getting married to someone she has been with since December. Of 2010. So I think this little "leaning tower of buttercream" is the least of her worries right now. Race home to get showered and beautified for a wedding. Go to wedding, which is outdoor evening wedding... in February. Wedding starts 45 minutes late, at which point they have the same instrumental version of "Love Song" by Sara Bareilles playing on repeat. I heard it play 11 times, which is after I realized that it was playing on repeat, and began to count. I literally almost lost my mind to that song. Anyways, so the wedding was a success. We laughed, we cried, we danced, we froze. And then it was off to bed. Still no word from the captain. Grrrrrr....

Sunday, Feb 6th: "Go Packers!" Luckily I was scheduled to work the game, so I didn't have to wake up early. Was able to relax, walk the boys, and sit in silence before walking into the madness of Superbowl. Still no word from the Captain. Very agitated and trying not to take it out on any males that happened to be sitting at any of the tables I'm serving. As if I wasn't feeling rejected enough, as luck would have it, my last table was actually my very first rejection experience, the one and only, Flannel Phil! Lucky for him, I think he was too drunk to remember who I was. And lucky for me, I was able to get another look at him and totally change my mind about his gorgeousness. Dodged a bullet on that one, phew!

Monday, Feb 7th: Agitation has turned to rage, and when the Captain actually calls in the morning, I reject it. I tell myself, I will let him squirm for a day before accepting his apology for being insensitive. Monday is usually our dinner and movie night. So I revel in the fact that he is probably bummed sitting at home. While I am bundled up on the couch with Gossip Girl and Pretty Little Liars.

Tuesday, Feb 8th: Have a busy day in the office and running errands, that I don't really realize that he hasn't called 'til the evening. And then I get pissed. I'm sitting at home cheering myself up with Ellen Degeneres and Nate Berkus episodes, and then I get a phone call from work friends to go Karaoke. I jump at the chance to scream out my frustrations and throw on some jeans and Uggs and am out the door. Only to find out that nobody has Karaoke on Tuesdays anymore. But luckily we found a place with 80's music and I danced my little heart out and sweated like you wouldn't believe. Uggs were not the wisest choice that night.

Wednesday, Feb 9th: Seriously!! So over this man. I can't even remember the last conversation we had. Don't know why on Earth he would be mad and ignoring me?! Unless of course he found out about me kissing Skip, haha, but that is beside the point here. I have now reached the point of extreme stubbornness, which is new to me. Apparently, the Zodiac has changed, and I am no longer a Gemini, but now a Taurus. Not that I am one to follow the Zodiac strictly, but I'm embracing this Bullheadedness! Screw him! I went out to happy hour with some girls, and as luck would have it, the place was full of businessmen! Successful men that wear suits?? Umm.. yes please! Out with the old and in with the new..

And now as for Today, Feb 10th, I am feeling stronger and still a bit angry. Mostly at myself for letting this man consume so much of my life so far. I already made plans with my little lady for Valentine's Day, so I won't let him take anymore time away from me.

"All the single ladies, alll the single ladies... put your hands up!"

Men

2011-01-26T13:16:00.000-08:00

So, the other day I ran into someone from my past. This particular someone being a person that I may or may not have lied to and told him I was moving to Boston, in order to end whatever it was we were doing. The same person who I kept running into after I apparently was supposed to be living on the other side of the country. Anyways, its been like over six years since I saw this person.

So, imagine my surprise when I am working and someone grabs my arm, and says, "Oh my gosh! Its you!" He then proceeded to hug me and kiss my cheeks like not even one day had passed. And then he looked me in the eyes and said, "Just because I don't move mountains, doesn't mean I don't care for you. I just think the world of you." He then sent me a text that said "Let's make sure we kiss tonight..xoxo." Six years, people.

Cut to Monday night.. Its "dinner and movie night" for me and the Captain. The Captain being my pain in the ass for the last five years. I walk into his house as he is making dinner, and he proceeds to call me a "Junior Shiloh".. Shiloh being his dog who is pretty much blind and always in the way. And then on the way to the movie, he thinks he's being funny when he calls me "Gayme" or "Lamie" and when I tell him that I am tired, his response is, "Why? You didn't even do anything active today!". Five years, people.

Is it just me, or do I choose the wrong men?

Remember...

2011-01-13T13:39:00.000-08:00

Remember how I was sitting on a curb talking one day, and somebody gave me money cause they thought I was homeless.

2011 is totally gonna be my year.

Aaagggghhhhhh!!

2010-11-29T13:21:00.000-08:00

Well my friends, it happened. Skip kissed me! Eeeeeeek!!

And it was so out of the blue, I almost thought I was imagining it like some scene out of Ally McBeal... I literally pinched myself. And then I froze. Cause I wanted to explode and tell him how long I have been waiting for that to happen. And everything that I felt for him. But instead I said nothing. I sat there, and smiled. And said absolutely nothing. And then he reached for my hand under the blanket, and we sat there, like two little teeny boppers holding hands and watching a movie. My heart was literally beating out of my chest. And then he kissed me again, and again.. and again. Sigh...

Since it happened, I've been replaying it in my head a gajillion times. And I can't shake this grin. Or the millions of butterflies in my stomach. Or how amazing of a cuddler he is. But mostly, I can't get this certain song out of my head. And luckily, there is a perfect little video that best describes how I'm feeling..

I am in trouble.. Big time.

Road Soda

2010-11-18T16:12:00.000-08:00

So friends, I have another one for ya. And I mean, honestly, I'm glad i am writing this stuff down. Because maybe I am supposed to use all this "research" for writing a book, or screenplay, or sitcom someday. Because I just can't explain it any other way.

So get cozy, maybe hit the potty beforehand, and settle in for this months juicy morsel of insanity.

Ladies, this is the story of Chaz:

I met Chaz right when I got back from Bali, so my skin was tan and my guard was down. I was at work, and as much as I hate meeting guys there, it happens. But how we met was pretty interesting in itself. Chaz walks up to me and starts complaining about how his whole table got cleared and they weren't finished. Conversation was as follows:

Chaz: Dude! Someone cleared all our drinks and they were totally full!

(I was the one who cleared the drinks, that were nowhere near full... and the table was empty. But I played dumb.. Clearly.)

Me: Dude! Really? That doesn't sound like something we would do.. we only clear tables that are empty and no one is sitting at.

Chaz: Well, we were in the bathroom!

M: We??

C: Yeah, me and my buddies.

M: I'm pretty sure that is the first time I have EVER heard of three men going to the bathroom together. But if you say so... talk to the bartender.

Then one of Chaz's friends comes walking up, pushes him out of the way, and I am preparing myself for another angry tirade about his lost beer. But instead I get:

Guy: Do you have a boyfriend?? Cause, oh the things I would do to you..

Me: Umm.. I'm sorry, WHAT?

And then Guy proceeded to run his mouth with all kinds of inappropriateness. I'll spare you all the details. I was shocked. And granted just coming back from a Sanity Break, was not prepared for these types of pigs. But I caught up real quick.

After he proceeded to tell me, "If you were my girl, we would neverrr leave the house. I'm talking 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.." I answered him with, "First off, I'm not a 'girl', I'm a lady. Secondly, umm.. I also have a brain. And I'm not some piece of meat. And third, THAT doesn't even sound like fun! I mean, all day, every day?? Really? When would I eat? Or sleep? I can't even go outside?? And what girls like that?? Really, who? All day?!? Please!"

All three of the guys were pretty much speechless after my little speech, but then I looked over at Chaz, and he seemed really embarrassed. I was curious what a surfer guy was doing with such a douche bag like that guy.. but that answer came much later. I don't know why I ended up giving Chaz my number that night. I think partly it was to be a lesson for his tool of a friend. And partly cause I thought he was cute, and thought it was cute that he asked me to grab a tea, or go for a hike sometime. So I gave him my number, not expecting anything to come from it.

Then he called. And called again. And told me, "I'm gonna keep bugging you until you call me back" in a charming, not creepy kind of way. So I called him. And when he answered, he didn't play the "your number is programmed in my phone but I'm going to act like I don't know who this is" game. He said, "Hey Jamie, how are you?" and I really liked that. And we ended up talking for like two hours.. about all kinds of stuff. And I was really surprised at how cool he was. And how nice he was. And the fact that he hadn't sent me a single text. Could it be?? A normal man!?

So, we had plans set to go hiking that next week. Then the rains came and we both got busy with life. Never ended up hanging out or talking on the phone again.. but those texts sure started appearing. Random ones asking me why we never hung out, as if it was my job to ask him out and plan a date. I know its 2010, but I'm old fashioned. I like to be treated like a lady.

Flash forward to present time.. I have seen Chaz once, and talked to him once. Both of those happened in September. So when he sends me a text asking to hang out, I'm trying to remember what he looked like, and what exactly we had in common.. but I say yes. We go meet at this cute little bar around the corner from my house. And I get kinda nervous. It almost felt like a blind date. Cause I really couldn't remember what the guy looked like! Then he walked in. And I was pleasantly surprised.

I mean, he was cute! Pretty eyes. Check! Nice teeth. Check! Age appropriate. Check! Makes me laugh. Check! Smart, cause he just got his masters and is going for his PhD. Check! Check! So what could go wrong??

Let's just say that him complaining about an almost-empty drink when I first met him, should have been my first sign. After sucking down his drink, he began complaining about the cost of said drink. And when the bartender asked him if he wanted another, he said, "yeah right.. I'd rather just go buy some booze at a liquor store and drink it in my car." Which then got us on another interesting topic for a first date: Drinking and Driving. He said, and I quote, "There is nothing wrong with a little road soda.." End quote.

Road soda?? Like there's an actual name for that sort of thing! O.M.G.. this is too good. This date was going so bad I almost didn't want to leave it. In fact, we ended up leaving the bar and sitting in his car to talk some more. I wanted to know just how bad this train was gonna wreck. And when he started burping and hiccuping I pretty much knew we had reached that point. Or was it when he peed in a bush. Or when asked what his future plans are, he said "I'm not really sure... what do I do with a Masters in Spanish?".. Or was it when he said he wanted to go get high and watch the movie "Willow".

I wish I was making this up.

My mom wanted to know how me and Chaz left things. I told her that I just left. No "talk to you soon" or "let's do this again!".. I did tell him to get home safe though.. But that was mostly for my sake. Sharing the road with Mr. Road Soda was not too comforting. But I'm guessing he made it home that night, cause the next night I got a text pretty late saying "Hey Girl!" and I laughed pretty hard. It wasn't until I got the text the next day that said, "Hey, how much is the place your parents are renting?" that I freaked out.

Yeah, right. I think its safe to say that me and Chaz will not be sharing a mailbox, a driveway, or any road sodas in our future.

Adios, Senor!

Boomerang

2010-10-25T16:33:00.000-07:00

So, I have a confession, friends.. I have a crush. (.. Sigh..) And to be honest, I have been crushin' for a while.. But I constantly push it aside, to the itty bitty corners of my mind.. cause the whole reality of it becoming an actual reality just seems too insane. We've known each other for a long time.. worked together a while back, he adopted my brother's dog, and we also have tons of the same friends.. One friend in particular that we have in common, is the Captain, as in Captain Boring, as in the main pain in my arse for the last 4 years. And the plot thickens... dun dun dun!

So, here I am constantly playing it cool every time I see him. Keeping it breezy, hiding the giddy girl feelings when he hugs me hello... Or when I get a cute text from him.. Or when he offers to ride my dogs to the beach.. Or casually mentions that he just got a Disneyland pass and that we should go together. Ugh, I hate when I'm such a girl, already planning out our cuddle sessions while waiting for Space Mountain.. Or sharing churros. Or him tempting me with kisses to go on Tower of Terror with him. And then I wake up, roll out of bed, throw on my flip flops and go meet him, and the Captain, at the beach with all our dogs.

So imagine my surprise when Skip* walks into my work one night and asks me to go to Knott's Scary Farm with him. And also to Disneyland with him that same week. Now, although I am the biggest chicken on the planet, I couldn't pass up an opportunity to be scared and hide in someone's arms, so I accepted. And then freaked out. Clearly. Was this a date?? Or was it just a friendly invitation so Skip would have someone to laugh at when monsters in mazes corner and taunt me until I pee myself? And more importantly, could I even make it through a night of monsters in mazes taunting me??? (Shanny, I still remember when we all went to Knott's Scary Farm in high school and you would block us from running out of the mazes... Thanks, Spooner! Not! Ha ha!)

Cut to the night of the big event.. He sends me a text that he's on his way, and I try to put my game face on. Have a huddle with myself and all my fears to "man-up" tonight and not make a fool of myself. So when he arrives, I am walking out to meet him. I give him a hug, and then notice another figure in the night. He says, "Oh.. Jamie, this is Layla*.." Umm.. I'm sorry.. What? Who? Why?? Yep, all of a sudden I am in my worst nightmare, heading to my worst nightmare.. Knott's Scary Farm.. as a 3rd wheel! In my mind, I am Macauly Culkin in Home Alone after he puts on the after-shave.. Hands on face screaming at the top of my lungs. And in reality, I'm playing it cool. Like the coolest of cools. Where the hell is my Academy Award already?! And it just keeps getting better. She is your typical 23 year old, tall, bendy, blonde .. and apparently my new BFF. After being in the car for literally 10 minutes, I was already invited to go to Disneyland (turns out she is the one who talked Skip into buying a pass), snowboarding this winter, her birthday party at the Pirate Show and also her yoga/pilates/spin classes. All the while I am contemplating just rolling out of the car on the 5 freeway and hitching a cab back home. And the icing on the cake? She snorts when she laughs.

This is one of those moments where you think you're being punked. Cause this doesn't really happen in real life. Unless you are me. Seriously.

So, here I am in the car replaying everything. Making sure I didn't misread anything. He asked me. He didn't tell me to invite any of my friends. He insisted we still go despite the chance of rain. He bought the tickets. He picked me up. I was confused, but I had to tell myself to power through this night, and let it go. That I should be happy for him.. and be supportive. And that's right about the time that he stepped away from us, and she proceeded to tell me the last thing I needed to hear.

"Skip just adores you.. he thinks you're great. I've heard so much about you.. He talks about you all the time, so its nice to finally meet you. Its funny, a couple times when we were on the phone he was like 'Jamie's calling, I gotta go..' So yeah, its nice to finally meet you.. you're so cool.. and I like your boots.. and I didn't know you were gonna be so pretty."

Ughh, Seriously! I have been with these people like 30 minutes and my emotions had been back and forth and all over the place. I felt like a freaking boomerang.. Chucked out to let it fly, take a chance and see what happens, only to be shot right back to where I started. And this boomerang wasn't settling anytime soon. Because we hadn't even entered the park yet. I don't think Skip thought this scenario through beforehand.. I mean, most of the rides are built for twos, and then having to console two terrified girls.. I mean, come on! But we made do.. rotated on the rides, and as fate would have it.. Guess which ride me and Skip rode together on? Yep, Boomerang. How fitting.. (Insert eye roll here.)

The rest of the night couldn't have went any better. One of Skip's buddies joined us later with his girlfriend, so I had more company. And Layla had a little too much to drink, and started to be a little much to handle when she would burst into tears on rides and in the mazes. Skip would look at me for some sort of assistance, and I would just smile and say "Good luck, honey!" Okay okay, so I may or may not have egged her on with a shot or two. And I may or may not have pointed her out to monsters and perhaps told them her name. But I honestly didn't expect her to cry. I just figured the more monsters that scared her, the less monsters to scare me?? I had an image of a put-together, mature woman to uphold here.

But in the end, it always works out. As we were coming out of our final maze, the scariest guy in all of Scary Farm-- the guy with the chain saw-- pops out of nowhere, corners Skip and Layla, and she takes off running. And I mean, runnnning! Mr Chain Saw chased after her, of course. And they sprinted off in the distance, leaving the four of us, keeled over in tears from laughing so hard. I swear on everything I had nothing to do with that one... But I couldn't have planned it any better myself. The car ride home was perfect too. Layla's final sprint wore her out, and she was asleep before we even left the parking lot.

Maybe this was just a teaser for when me and Skip are taking our out-of-control toddler to amusement parks someday.. or maybe I'll use this story when giving a toast at Skip and Layla's wedding. Who knows. Either way, I had fun.

I took those lemons, and made another killer lemon meringue pie. I think I'll save this one for Mr. Chain Saw... wink wink.

* For confidentiality purposes, names have been changed to sound more hip and unrealistic.

Back in the damn saddle again...

2010-10-06T16:52:00.000-07:00

So much for not jumping back into the same routine, haha... After being back from the Promise Land for exactly 3 weeks now, I am back to my overworked, tired and sluggish self. It was good while it lasted though.. :) I'm guessing the gloomy weather and horrible jet lag has played a small part in it. Or maybe its not waking up to roosters crowing and lounging on a beach all day that is throwing me off. Hmm... I wonder.

It literally seems like I took that trip forever ago. And being that I haven't really blogged or posted much about the trip isn't helping. And when I got back from the trip, I still had some days to journal about. So I placed my travel journal on my bedside table to finish it, before I forgot it. And sadly, I haven't even cracked that puppy open once. Life literally picked up right where it left off, and I have been running like crazy to catch up. But I have realized that this takes effort. Being across the world, with no responsibilities, and no cell phone, its easy to disappear. But now I have learned I must make a conscious effort to stay sane. I can do all the things I did while I was in Bali here, I just have to make time for it. Okay, so finding elephants to ride, or monkeys to play with may have its difficulties, but still. There are plenty of beaches, and hiking trails, and scenic spots within a gas tank's reach for me to take advantage of. And I don't even have to pay some Balinese man to take me there.

So, this is my vow to me. To take the time. To make the effort. I'm gonna finish that journal. I'm gonna hike more. I'm gonna remember to apply sunscreen. I'm gonna wake up in the morning, and do what I want to do. And if I happen to see an elephant along the way, you better believe I'm riding it.

Fingers crossed, its a nice one... like her.

Daisy

2010-09-19T16:31:00.000-07:00

So, just 'reaching out' to let you know I'm trying my best to post pictures of the trip. But being that this little shutter bug took over 1,000 pictures.. It may take a while. Also, due to the fact I have the sleeping pattern of a vampire, I'm usually asleep most of the hours the library is actually open. Exactly how long does jet lag last for?? Or should I start looking for a job working the graveyard shift?

But as for me, I'm trying my best to not jump back in to the same routine. I learned a lot about myself while on my trip. And I came home and did the one thing I've been trying to do the last 4 years. I let go. I moved on. I took one huge deep breath in, and released everything I'd been holding on to. And to make matters more interesting, I also came home to a "For Sale" sign in my front yard. So if all goes as planned, who knows how far I will actually be moving on to...

I'll keep you posted friends.. Life's sure getting interesting! :)

Mission Accomplished!

2010-09-16T03:34:00.000-07:00

RELAXATION: noun

1. The act of relaxing or the state of being relaxed.
2. Refreshment of body or mind; recreation
3. A reduction in strictness or severity.
4. A partial lessening of a punishment, duty, etc.
5. The gradual lengthening of inactive muscle or muscle fibers.

or more specifically, ME!

*please note the time of post... I am wide awake, and blogging at 4:34 am... Jetlag! Yay!

Anticipation!

2010-08-20T14:43:00.000-07:00

So, its almost here.. 5 days.. Five freakin' days and I'll be in Bali. Okay, so technically its six days considering the 18 hours of flight time and time change.. But technicalities, shmechnicalities..

My plan on this get-away is to fly by the seat of my pants.. My only plan was my plane ticket, and the hotel for when I arrive.. everything else is up in the air. And seriously, for being such a care-free trip.. A ton of planning is involved! Finding a dog-sitter for 3 weeks is pretty much a feat on its own (Thank you to Wendy and Taylor.. I love you forever.. And to my Brother, I love you and thanks for only taking my soul and first-born for the 4 days you will be watching them. What a bargain!).

Also, a big thank you to Hollywood, Julia Roberts and everyone a part of "Eat, Pray, Love" for making it seem like a trip to Bali is as breezy as filling a duffle bag with cargo shorts, linen tops and a hat and jumping on a plane. They failed to mention the tetnus, malaria and whooping cough vaccines. I was told that Bali is 'Heaven on Earth'... Due to my huge fear of needles, I'm hoping that there aren't any vaccines to get into the real Heaven.. But that's not something I have to worry about now. Hopefully.

Anyways, so my bags are almost packed.. which is weird for a procrastinator like myself. I am still unsure about the outfits to bring.. I mean, what does one wear when searching for her sanity? Or when riding elephants? And what if I meet "Him".. Him being the emotionally available, hilarious, all-American-ish Australian bongo player with the perfect body. What does one wear when meeting Him?! Yeah yeah, he's gonna love me for me, and blah blah blah.. but come on, I have to have that perfect "Oh, this old thing" dress that catches his eye. So yes, this is the type of planning they failed to mention in the movie. And regardless if i am ready, I will be boarding that plane in a few days..

And I can't wait. My whole body is smiling.. From the top of my head, to my freshly painted toes..

Stay tuned for pictures and stories.. With my luck, oh dear.. I can only imagine.

Budderoni!

2010-07-19T22:30:00.000-07:00

Just had to post this picture of my nephew... Even though his favorite word is "NOO!!", he kicks cats, and thinks my name is Dora. This little face melts my heart every stinkin' time..

Destination: SANITY!

2010-06-30T14:41:00.000-07:00

So, its finally happening. And I guess it won't seem real until my bags are packed and I board that plane.. But its really happening. I'm going to Bali. Seriously, just typing the words gives me a little flutter and tingle all over.

In yoga class they always say this one little phrase, and I can't wait to make it my daily purpose for a whole month:

"There's no where else you need to be, and nothing else to do... Just breathe and be in the moment."

Seriously, August 24th..

.... Any joiners??

When I Grow Up...

2010-06-06T23:04:00.000-07:00

So, today was the worst day ever. Really..EVER! I was praying for a tsunami, earthquake, or maybe, say a smaller-scale-lower-death-toll-scenario, a power outage to strike my work, so I could retain any sort of sanity I had left. But no such luck. So when I hit that "Clock Out" button and flew out to Gidget (the automobile) I couldn't believe I had actually survived. Starving, stinky, and a teeny bit snippy, I was in no mood for friends. So I declined on the invites to "hang" and posted up on the couch for a date with myself. First order of business being, So You Think You Can Dance.

I'm sure you have watched, or heard me ramble on about the show. But seriously, to say its amazing... well, that wouldn't even scratch the surface to its greatness. Let's be honest here, I'm a TV nut. I record like one million shows, but the only shows that have been saved permanently on my DVR are episodes of this little jewel. (Okay, okay.. and "Out of Sight" starring my one and only George Clooney... Seriously.. IN. LOVE.) But every once in a good while, I watch those old episodes, and I get chills every stinkin' time. The audition episodes are never my fave. Too many crazy people trying to get their 15 minutes.. But wow, when I plopped down on my couch and pressed play tonight, I had no idea what I would see.

I attached the clip because I think this is something worth seeing. I watched this and bawled like a baby. And then I watched it again. And again. And again.. I think you catch my drift here. For a black soul like mine, I couldn't believe how much this little number did a number on me. But then again, who am I kidding. This show has made me cry before. Dancing is one thing near and dear to my heart. It has the ability to send a powerful message and cause such strong feelings and emotion, all without saying a single word. And this guy, well, he was no exception. After watching him dance, I felt awesome, and happy.. and completely forgot about my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Maybe it won't have the same effect on you, but I still think he's cool.. so just watch it.. Geeeez. Haha, I kid. ;)

Enjoy my friends.. and don't stop dancing.

I so wanna be him when I grow up... Here's hoping! :)

Ouch!

2010-05-18T15:05:00.000-07:00

So, it happened again. A perfect face turned me into a giddy teenager. It seems to always happen on Sundays at work. Sundays being the day I have to be there at 9 am after working all night on Saturday. Sundays usually being the days I need a shower like you wouldn't believe. And putting on make-up doesn't seem as important as snoozing for an extra 10 minutes.. Yep. Why would it happen when I look like a real person, much less like an actual girl?? But this Sunday was an exception.. I actually showered and was feeling a bit better about myself. Go me!

So, here's what happened.. I was serving this table of girls, who were hilarious.. and thirsty. They were sucking down Mimosas faster than I could pour them. So they were constantly watching my every move to see when their next refill was coming. And when Mr. Perfect in his flannel shirt walked in, the girls were the first to see my reaction. The smile on my face, the twinkle in my eye.. okay okay, so they saw me discreetly fanning myself with the menu.. but whatevs. They would've done the same thing if they didn't have a glass in their hands the entire time.

So, luckily Mr. Flannel sat in my station, so I could find whatever excuse to go over and talk to him and his friends. He was kinda shy but very polite. Always asked nicely and said his thank you's.. I was in love. All it takes is a perfect face and a 'please and thank you' to win me over. So, when I walked back over to the ladies they wasted no time in teasing me. But then they mentioned that they thought I was super fun and we should all hang out sometime, so we exchanged numbers. Yay, I love new friends! I went back to actually working for a bit, and when the girls were leaving, I went to give them hugs. One of the girls named Hannah, gave me a big hug and said, "Oh, I gave that guy your number and told him that he really, really needed to call this girl cause she was amazing. But I didn't tell him it was you.. Bye! Have fun!"

I was shocked! Actually shocked doesn't even begin to explain.. I was a big ball of nerves.. So stoked that she would do that, but soooo nervous if he would call or not. And what would he say?! I felt like she was my Fairy Godmother.. Yep. And then I remembered that I had to go back and finish serving him and his friends. And pretend that everything was normal. And pretend that I had no idea what him and his friends were talking about.. when really, they were talking about me. It was insane.

So, long story short, he called. AGHHHH! (I couldn't answer while I was at work.) And then he texted. So, we were texting back and forth.. trying to figure out who I was, and I just wanted to know my future hubby's first name.. (Phillip, which was a total shock BTW.. he looked nothing like a Phillip... Flannel Phil, hahahahaha... I heart nicknames. ) And then he mentioned something about my plans that day.. and I said that I didn't have any cause I was at work, and then (moment of truth) I told him "I think I was your server..".. I was so nervous to tell him, but figured it was about time, and couldn't sit still waiting for his reaction.. And what happened next??

Crickets... Or, in other words, nothing. I was rejected by Flannel Phil! Happy Sunday to me... Ouch.

I have to laugh at the whole situation, or else I may just break down like a crazy person. I mean, What was I really expecting??

I later told my Mom the story and her reasoning was that he got in some crazy accident, his phone was destroyed, and he lost my number.. Yeah, let's go with that. That seems like a MUCH better ending.

Get Well Soon, Flannel Phil..

The Captain & the Dreamboat

2010-04-15T11:28:00.000-07:00

So, I've been doing some major cleaning in my life lately. Not so much physical, as it is mental.. Although I did do a recent purge session in my closet thanks to a brilliant idea from my little wifey.. A give-it-away party. It stemmed from the whole idea of "one man's trash, is another man's treasure" and it was amazing. I had the urge to go have a shopping spree at Forever 21, and instead I have a whole new wardrobe for the price of zero dollars, and some extra space in my closet. And got to see my amazing ladies to boot! Win Win! :)

But as for the mental cleansing.. Ever since Mr. Dreamboat came in and smiled at me, I feel like I've had this major awakening. And I am plain and simple, bored with my "friend". Just even saying the word friend makes me fall into a deep sleep. I have renamed him to Captain Boring. Ha ha, Is that mean? Its just that I want someone that makes me giddy. That makes me speechless. And turns me into a total complete sappy nerd. I'm ready to look at someone and say "Yep, we are M.F.E.O." (Made For Each Other-- Sleepless in Seattle, anyone? Haha, Deed, I just got a mental image of "Harses! Harses! Harses!".. I think of you every time I see that part.) But at the same time, I don't know if I'm just going through a phase.. so I gave myself one final test.

The Captain invited me to a Lakers game last night, and so I said, perfect opportunity! Somewhere public, with a kiss cam (I love me some kissing!), sports-related so fun for him, celebrity-spotting-potential so fun for me, and its something different.. Okay! Things are looking good. But then again, this is me and remembering my luck here... clearly, the only thing that looked good at the game was the cute guy sitting in the row in front of me. Long story short, the Captain failed to mention my seat for the game was literally on the opposite side of the Staples Center from where his was. My seat was with my friend Tyler and his adorable girlfriend, Katie, who by-the-way are in the Giddy Stage of their relationship and can't keep their hands off each other. I'm surprised they didn't end up on the Kiss Cam. The Captain was sitting with his three buddies and called me during halftime to say that they were gonna stay on their side (we were supposed to meet up) of the arena and "Would I be okay?" My answer was, "You have no idea how okay I will be."

Thank you fate, my gut, or whoever else was sending me my answer that night. I heard you loud and oh-so-clear. Don't get me wrong, I had a blast at the game. I danced, I cheered, I spotted those celebrities. I took my lemons, and made one killer lemon meringue pie. But thanks in no part to the Captain. And after we got back to his house, and everyone left, it was just the two of us, sitting there... bored.

Thank you to Mr. Dreamboat for opening my eyes to such possibilities. I haven't seen you again, and I don't know if I ever will.. But if I do, I owe you a lemon meringue pie. Okay, okay.. and maybe a kiss. :)

Remember...

2010-03-08T14:29:00.000-08:00

Remember how I've been in a "non-relationship" for almost 3 years. Remember how hearing him say words such as "us" and "we" when talking about futures makes my eye twitch. Remember how being near him, cuddling with him and playing our "radio game" are some of my most favorite times. Remember how I can't smell sunscreen without thinking about him.

Remember how a cute boy came into my work and smiled at me, and I lost all brain function. Remember how I wouldn't give him my number because I am in a "non-relationship." Remember how after he left, I couldn't stop thinking about his smile.. those eyes. Remember how I was a crazy person and looked all over Newport for him, and then when that didn't work went home and searched Facebook. Remember how I am terrified of the internet because of people just like me.

Remember how I need to seek professional help.

Again.

Out of Touch

2010-02-04T14:29:00.001-08:00

So, I just wanted to send a little note saying I miss you. I have been without internet for a while now. I had been secretly stealing it from my brother. Well, in my mind it wasn't stealing. Just sort of the payment I get out of dealing with his grumpy butt all the time. But long story short, that is kaput.

So, in the few seconds I have to type while at work, I just want to say I miss you, Blog World. I miss sharing my insane stories... I miss seeing my friends cute kiddies.. and I miss the strangers blogs that I used to stalk regularly. I hope everyone is happy and healthy.

Love!

Budder's Big Bash!!

2009-10-15T14:50:00.000-07:00

I'm one!

So, this has been a pretty big week for our Little Man. He not only had his first birthday, but a couple days later took his first steps. The party was "Dr. Seuss" themed and even had a special appearance from the cat himself! Thanks to Grandpa Rick (Shanda's Dad), he was quite the entertainer! We couldn't be more stoked for this big ball of joy.. and I mean, big. He's quite the little tanker. Hope you enjoy as much as we did!

Nathan's always there to greet you with a High 5!

His favorite kid to play with, his Daddy!

Play time with cousins...

More fun with cousins.. Look how big Natalie's kids are!

Erik has skills! And a mohawk!

Cat in the Hat! On a unicycle!

Daddy, Mommy & Grandpa Rick

His Dr. Seuss-inspired cake.. super fun!

He wasn't so sure about all the frosting.. he's more of a cake kinda guy...

Budders is quite the little funny guy.. always making everyone laugh!

I wonder who taught him how to do that?? ;)

Trying to capture those first steps... wait for it.. wait for it!

Grandpa is a great coach!

Nana is quite the cheerleader! Let's go Nae!!

No way! My brother is smiling! Success! Haha.. I love this picture!

Family

And last but not least, the birthday boy's favorite guy! He just loves his Daddy!

And we just can't get enough of him! Happy Birthday, to our big boy!

Secret.. Secret!!

2009-10-06T14:11:00.000-07:00

So, friends... I need your help. Blame it on a loss of sanity, I guess, but please just help me out here. I have just begun the process of buying a house. Well, if it all works as planned. And that's where you come into play.

I am a firm believer in the power of positive thinking. "If you build it, they will come" kinda stuff. And I have been in overdrive here trying to "secret" a house. My friends and I are always "secreting" stuff.. mostly its on a smaller scale. Front row parking spots, concert tickets, or a hilarious and a tad bit rich, beautiful boyfriend... hey, 2 out of 3 ain't too shabby. But now, I'm taking it to a whole new level. So, I'm just looking for a little extra oomph. If I get a bunch of my peeps secreting along with me, there's no way it won't work out. And this is something that will benefit all of us. Open invitations for girlfriend parties and get-togethers for life!

I just put offers down on three charming little houses in Old Towne Orange... and I just need one of them to take. So thanks in advance for all your positivity and I hope house warming party invitations are in the near future! And maybe wedding invitations if that other "secret" comes true too.. :)

Love you all! Hope this finds you happy and healthy...

O.C. Story

2009-08-26T19:51:00.000-07:00

So, I don't know if you guys have seen the movie "L.A. Story" with Steve Martin and Sarah Jessica Parker. Its from the early 90's, and its always been that one random movie I saw, that I never ever forgot. Anyways, in the movie, Steve Martin has these conversations with a billboard off the freeway. Or not so much conversations, as the sign gives him these messages and he gets frustrated trying to decode them and ends up screaming back at the sign. Random, I know... but I loved it. Seriously, such a great love story. And ever since I can remember, I've always had my own little "O.C. Story" with a sign off the 55 freeway. Orco Construction Supply. Who woulda thunk it? The messages change randomly, and by randomly, I mean they always happen to change at the right time in my life. When I'm feeling sad, the messages always seem to be one to lift me back up. If I'm falling into a rut, its something motivational to get my butt back in gear. When I feel like I am overwhelmed, it reminds me that "in order to get the rainbow, you have to deal with the rain." It has become a marker on my road home. The halfway point. And I look at it, without fail, every time I drive on the 55.

Well, lately I've been getting kind of annoyed that they haven't changed it. Although, " we must become the change we want to see" is one of my favorite quotes... it had been months and I was ready for a new one. And the message I got the other day, was the toughest message of all. Orco Construction Supply has gone out of business. Say WHAT?!

Now I am fully aware that we are in the midst of a recession, but seriously, what the freak?! I've already cut back on so much. I recycle everything, I grow my own veggies, I've found ways to "repurpose" the clothes in my closet.. and now my sanity is being "recessed". Wonderful.

So, now that I can no longer get inspirational quotes from my sign, I'll just end this with an inspirational quote from the movie, "L.A. Story"... it all comes full circle, doesn't it?

"There's someone out there for everyone-- even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them."

Hope the recession isn't hitting all of you too hard. Stay strong, my friends. We'll get through this.

Ladies & Gentlemen... Meet BUDDERS!

2009-08-12T14:12:00.000-07:00

I seriously can't get enough of this little man's face. Those baby blues. The little "Stephen Colbert" ears... Who would have thought my grumpy brother could create such a happy baby! Haha, just kidding, Chris... Anyways, I just had to share these pictures. More bloggity blogging to come. ;)

He gets me every time...

Life.

2009-06-25T23:50:00.000-07:00

Oh, Life. I think we need to talk. Just when I think I have a handle on you, you go and throw me for another loop. And today, you were in rare form. I must say, you almost had me. And then I have to remind myself that everything happens for a reason, and everything happens in its time.

When I woke up this morning, I had the intention of having a nice, relaxing day off. Just a carefree day with my best friend, and a nice evening to myself. I've been stretched so thin lately and have been feeling so run down. I thought, just one day, and I'll be back in the game. And that's pretty much where it went wrong.

For starters, I woke up on the right side of the bed, but way too late. Luckily, someone called me to wake me up. Unfortunately, it was my daily dose of negativity from my "friend". He was calling to tell me he woke up at 3 am with a pounding headache, like the one I had a few days ago. Although he didn't actually say the words, I'm pretty sure he was blaming me for it. So the right side of the bed, was now quickly turning into the wrong foot.

I was intending to be at my friend's house, in Cypress, by 11:30. But around 12 I was still at home getting my things together. Call it procrastination, but in retrospect, now I just call it fate. Had I gotten out of the house any earlier, I wouldn't have seen little Bax wake from his slumber, cry a yelp of pain, and run out of the house. I would not have found him hiding in the backyard. I would not have wondered why he was acting so strange. And most importantly, had I left any earlier, I would not have crossed paths with my brother to ask him to go see if Bax was merely acting like a brat, or if something was legitimately wrong with him.

Because something was wrong with him. I didn't know it at the time, but Bax, the little detective, had gotten into some rat poisoning the night before. And the reason he was acting so strange, was that it was being digested in his body and slowly killing him. I didn't know this until I was in LA with my friend, and nowhere near my baby that was in trouble.

I was trying to get a hold of everyone and anyone to check on him while I was gone. We were stuck in LA during rush hour traffic. So getting home soon wasn't an option. But no one was available. And then, my Dad saved the day. He was going to take Bax to the hospital and see what was wrong. I felt such a sense of relief, for a small moment, until my Dad called to say, "I just need you to brace yourself for the worst. I'm gonna take him to the hospital, but it doesn't sound good, Jamie.." And I felt powerless all over again.

Its a funny thing. Although I did not birth Baxter, he is every bit a child to me. And I felt like the worst mother in the world. To not be there while he was in pain. To not be able to pet him and tell him that I love him and everything is gonna be okay. To not be there for his last breath. I was dying with him. And I kept telling myself, there's no way I can handle kids someday if I can't even handle this.

But luckily, My Dad and Chris were there with him. And luckily, they had made it in time. After getting his stomach pumped and system flushed, he was gonna make it after all. But in his examination, they took x-rays and found that his whole back was bruised all over. My Dad and Chris had figured out later that a shelf that had the rat poison, and also laundry detergent bottles, had fallen on Baxter and that's how he got to it in the first place. Poor guy. Can't help the fact he loves to eat.

So, in the end, it all worked out. And looking back over the day's events, I feel so lucky. What seems at times like mishaps and distractions, might actually be the very things that save you or the ones you love. Me and my brother haven't been on the best of terms lately. And Chris said that he wasn't even supposed to be home today, but he had two clients cancel on him. So had he not been home, I wouldn't have had anyone check on him. And would've come home to find the biggest heartbreak of all. But instead, I came home to my favorite thing ever. A wagging tail, and a wiggling bottom. And now, I have so much more love and gratitude for my brother and father. I have two men in my life that will drop everything and be there for me. And a puppy that won't stop kissing his Mommy.

Alright, Life. Maybe you're not so bad after all.

Best one yet...

2009-04-12T12:19:00.000-07:00

So, the other night I heard, in my opinion, the best pickup line.

"Hi. I accept you for your facial scars. Do you accept me for mine?"

Ladies, keep a lookout for your "Save the Dates"... this one's a keeper. Haha!

Indian Chief

2009-04-09T00:25:00.000-07:00

So, the other day I called my brother to tell him to not take my mail out of the mailbox, to be lost in some random pile in his house, but leave it in the mailbox where I can retrieve it myself. It was never a problem with the previous tenants. Whoever picked up the mail, would deliver whatever mail wasn't theirs to the appropriate addressee. Seems simple. But this is my brother we're talking about here. I didn't know it then, but apparently, my brother was using my mail as hostage for me to visit. So not only do I get a guilt trip for not seeing enough of my nephew, but I also miss out on cool opportunities like baby showers, weddings, cable tv and, my personal favorite, car insurance.

So as I'm giving my brother the new mail protocol, he cuts me off by saying, "Alright, Jamie, I gotta go.. I'm digging up a dead body right now." And honestly, I didn't even question it. My brother is the king of exaggeration and prank phone calls. So the "dead body" didn't even throw me for a loop. And, clearly, it should have. It turns out as my brother is working on this house, attempting to dig a sewer line, his shovel hits bones. He said this isn't unusual, most of the time they are animals though. Fountain Valley High School is built on old slaughterhouse carcasses. Goo. But in this case, he happened to find a human skull. And clearly, the remaining pieces of the skeleton. As my brother snaps into "CSI" mode, his two workers begin to freak out. Understandably so. One is off saying his "Aye Dios Mio's" while the other is dry heaving in the corner. Apparently the smell was too much. Goo, again. My brother continues to dig and pull out bones, laying them out on the ground in the appropriate places, so when the real CSI's come, they can do their work. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that would be tampering with evidence. But whatever, on with the story...

So, I'm sure you are all on the edge of your seat wondering what the heck a body is doing under a house, so here's the dish...

Apparently, it was the body of a 200 year old Indian Chief. Due to the jaw structure and color of the bones they were able to determine that. And due to some treaty or pact, they actually have to put the bones back where they found them. And not only that, but have to build and work around them. Call me crazy, but if that was my home, I don't know how cool I'd be with knowing my bedroom was built over some 200 year old guy's bones. And the craziest thing, is that all this happened in Long Beach. Its so hard to imagine that 200 years ago an Indian reservation with Chiefs like "Black Fox", medicine men, rain dances and herbal potions would later be the future home of Snoop Dogg, Dr. Dre, booty shakin' and "Gin and Juice"... But hey, that's life!

So, now my brother has a new calling. Other than being father, brother, prison warden, postman, and plumber.. he can also add archeologist to his belt. And me? Well, I'm just back slinging food and drinks for money. Who wouldn't want to be me?? :)

Remember...

2009-02-20T14:01:00.000-08:00

Remember when I finally was getting along with my brother again.

Remember when I wanted to sell Baxter because he wakes me up, every two hours, every night, like a newborn baby. Remember how Monty, my perfect dog, killed my brother's cat the day before Valentine's Day. Remember when my brother hated me again.

Remember how I was really upset and needed support, so I turned to "my friend" and all he could tell me was "This never would've happened if you'd take your dogs out more often". Remember how I got pissed and ignored him. Remember how I left him a note saying "Happy Valentine's Day, you little brat" even though I wanted to call him a jerk, asshole, or prick. Pretty much something that would make him realize how mean he really is. Remember when he called to thank me, because he thought I was genuinely leaving him a Valentine. Remember when I got pissed and ignored him again. Remember how a day later we went to a movie and then cuddled and kissed on his couch.

Remember how I signed up for eharmony. Remember how I thought I was unmatchable, and now I have over 150 men that are "the one". Remember when I received "gentle nudges" to start communication with them. Remember how eharmony called me a "skeptic". Remember how eharmony is stalking me.

Remember how I'm going to be single forever, with my nocturnal and murderous dogs, living next door to my grumpy overprotective brother.

My life is soooo cool.

Insomnia

2009-02-09T00:13:00.000-08:00

So, it seems lately I've had some trouble falling asleep at a normal hour. Hence me blogging at 12:15 Sunday night.. or I guess, technically, Monday morning. And normally I just read or watch tv till my eyes wear out and I finally doze off. But last week, I wasn't so lucky. I finally fell asleep around 5:30 am. Yes, I repeat, 5:30 am. I tried everything! Watching all my DVR'd shows, balancing my checking account, blog-stalking, color-coordinating my closet, dusting my house, alphabetizing my DVDs, doing the dishes, and so on, I finally gave in and challenged my eyes to a competition. Who can stare at my eyelids longer? Righty always wins. Oh, and did I mention I also signed up for eharmony, as well. Oops, must've slipped my mind.. ;)

Its those darn commercials. The song, the couples walking together and laughing, in slow motion. Why always in slow motion? I thought time was supposed to fly when you're having fun... but anyway, during my countless hours enjoying the tube, I always see those commercials, and think how cute that they found their match. So, I was curious, and a little mental from the lack of sleep, so I checked out the website. And before I know it, I'm in the middle of setting up a profile where they ask you a gajillion questions. No joke. It was intense. Questions like, if you were given too much change would you speak up about it.. and I was torn. Say I'm given .23 extra cents, odds are I'm probably not gonna bother. But $23.00, that's another story. I'd give it back. But how do you base a relationship on that question?? I kept wanting to quit, but it'd say, 83% done, so I'd keep trucking on, only to find that 83% is nowhere near finished. And as I'm finishing the survey, I start to thinking about how you hear the horror stories of people rejected from these kinda things. They say that you are "unmatchable" or just plain "rejected". And then I freaked out. What if I'm a reject?! Will I never have the opportunity to walk in slow motion?? Will I never laugh in slow motion? Oh dear! Am I cursed to travel this Earth at an ordinary, average pace?! But, then I was able to talk myself out of the freak out.. one of the bonuses of being a gemini, I guess.

So I went to bed that night not realizing what I had really done. Clearly due to the insomnia. And when I opened up my inbox Monday afternoon, it really hit me. Meet Brian. Meet Phil. Meet Mike. And so on, and so on.... everyday there are like 12 new guys. And everyday, I get more and more stressed about it. Number one, I have no idea who these people are. Stranger danger. Number two, I didn't pay for the service because it said I could see my matches for free. By "see" they mean, see everything but what they actually look like. So I have no idea what these guys look like. And call me superficial, but hey, looks matter. Not to me, but to my future children. Always thinkin' ahead... and Number three, am I really supposed to pay to meet a guy? And how much am I willing to pay?

So, as of now, I still haven't paid. Therefore I can't view pictures or communicate with any of these potential "slow motioners"... and I'm perfectly fine with it. Some of the guys seem really interesting. But are they just telling me what I want to hear.. or read, I guess. And others, I'm completely shocked they were paired with me. For example, the type of guy who answers all of his questions with the answer "my truck":

What are you most thankful for? My truck

What are you passionate about? My truck

What can you not live without? My truck

Leisure activities? Washing my truck, driving my truck, and thinking about... my truck.

I wish I was kidding. In the beginning I was just excited I wasn't rejected by the website. Now I'm just wondering why this guy wasn't. I mean, its cute if you're a little boy. But not if you're 34.

So needless to say, I'm hesitant about this little pickle I've gotten myself into. Maybe I'll give it a whirl for a month. Maybe I won't. All I know is, this girl needs her sleep. Especially if Mr. Right is patiently waiting somewhere in my inbox.

SSB

2009-01-19T16:07:00.000-08:00

So, a couple weeks ago I was lucky enough to catch one of my favorite episodes of "Sex & the City" on TV. I immediately hit record on my DVR. And the funniest part about all of this is I have the entire series of the show on DVD. So at any point in time, I could watch my favorite episode. But whatever, fate played it on channel 5 before I had the chance. :) So in this particular episode, Carrie and Aidan move in together and she is totally freaking out. She has never lived with anyone and she thinks that now that she is, she'll no longer be able to partake in her SSB's, or Secret Single Behaviors. Everyone has their little things they do when they are alone. Carrie's was that she would take a stack of Saltine crackers, spread some jam on them, and then stand in her kitchen and read fashion magazines. Random, I know. But I'm sure everyone has there little things, that may sound crazy to some, but to you are the one things keeping you sane.

For example, my particular SSB's include dancing in my underoos, polishing off a whole pan of brownies, and taking myself to the movies (not in that particular order). And the only reason I am revealing these is because I had an interesting experience with each of these recently, and am now pondering whether its time to give them up. I mean, seriously, time has its effects on the body. And my metabolism was the first victim. So eating a whole pan of brownies is going to take its toll. I try to cushion the blow a little, and make the "No Pudge" brownies from Trader Joe's (best invention ever!) but the serving size definitely isn't one box... but please, for the love of God, how the heck do you eat just one?! Please somebody tell me! And it didn't even phase me till the other day when I couldn't fit into any of my clothes. At first I noticed the cleavage. I hoped it was a growth spurt. I've only been waiting for it for 27 years. And then the jeans got a little more snug. Clearly the dryers fault. And then it all hit me. I haven't done yoga once since I got back from Costa. I have done nothing but stuff my face since I've been home. And although they claim "No Pudge" brownies, my skinny jeans beg to differ.

So, as much as I hate to do this. I must bid farewell to the pink box of deliciousness. I wanna say thank you, Pudge, for getting me through those tough times. I wouldn't have made it through those episodes of One Tree Hill, Gossip Girl or Grey's without you. I'll miss you and will forever cherish the countless chewy morsels of comfort we shared.

I'm sure every girl dances when they think no one is watching. But I seriously think about the day when I can't maniac in my house alone, and it makes me wanna bawl my eyes out. I used to do it every so often. Usually when I should be doing something more important is when I find the urge to bust a move. And I mean, really bust it. And its always in my underoos. I simply can't be bothered with bulky clothing when I am in a jam session. It just doesn't make sense to me. But now that money is tight, I figured I would create my own workout. So now, when those buns really need it the most, I crank up the tunes and go nuts. And at first, I had to get used to the looks from my dogs. I thank the Lord everyday that they can't speak English or else everyone would know how uncoordinated I really am. But I just moonwalk right past them and boogie on. And then, the next morning, the pain hits. My legs burn, my arms are weak, and for some odd reason, I can't turn my head left. And that's usually when I ask myself why I continue to do this, curse Billy Idol and his ability to rock my soul, and vow to never dance again. Outlook not so good on keeping those vows.

And last but not least, my movie dates. Not many people partake in this activity. And its so funny to hear reactions when I tell people that I actually do go to movies solo. I used to do it all the time years ago. It was my "me" time. Its usually the sad ones I go to alone. I feel its the only way for me to get the most out of it. Its hard going to sappy movies with guys. You try to be tough and not cry, and I think you end up shorting yourself on the experience. I made the mistake of going to a comedy alone. Never again. There's a reason TV shows have a laugh track on them. Things don't seem as funny if you're the only one laughing. So, anyway, the other night I took myself out. Went and saw "Revolutionary Road" with Leo and Kate. Titanic, Part Two. And oh my word, what a mistake that was. I walked out of the theater totally fine. Got in my car. Buckled my seatbelt. Started the car. And then I lost it. Just started sobbing. And those who really know me, this girl doesn't cry. I wish I could explain to you how much I lost it. I could barely drive home. I called my Mom to see if that would help, but it only made things worse. No joke, I sobbed for two hours! And I have absolutely no idea why. My Mom was panicked. She thought something happened to my dogs, or I was dying. And when I told her, I just saw a movie, she was probably a little confused. Sorry, Mom. It was hilarious. And I think its pretty safe to assume, that little SSB is taking a little time out. I think I cried all my tears for 2009 in one shot. Phew! Glad that part of the year is over with... Now which Cutie is taking me to my next movie... :)

I apologize for the novel of a blog I just wrote. But I got the urge and couldn't stop. Much like the brownies. I guess blogging is another one of my SSB's.. but I'm pretty sure that one transfers over when I become a "couple" someday. Thankfully! I don't know how many more I can get rid of.

Testing our sea legs...

2008-12-31T15:04:00.001-08:00

The calm before the storm...

So, it's day 3 in Costa Rica. We had an excursion to Tortuga Island included in the price of the trip, so we woke up that morning excited to snorkel and see some cool sites. But the weather had other plans for us. I've pretty much grown accustomed to having bad weather while on vacation. So now its no longer bad weather, its just normal. So I wasn't surprised to hear that we would be heading on some pretty choppy waters due to the storm.

Could our sunglasses be any bigger?

I am a river rat at heart and used to being on boats, but Wendy had never been on a boat in her life. She was super anxious and also a bit hung over, never a good combination when boarding a boat. So its a good thing I got a picture of her before the waters got too rough. I must give a huge shout out to Wen for surviving that boat ride. I had a blast flying through the choppy waters. The spray from the waves had me soaked but I could care less. The driver of the boat kept telling Wendy "5 more minutes" when really we still had a ways to go. I felt so bad for her.

Lovin' life...

... Love her!

Once we arrived at Tortuga, Wendy was the first one off the boat. We all kinda wandered around, checking out the place before the first group set off to snorkel. I was so shocked when I heard Wendy say she wanted to get back on the boat to go snorkel. But I think she had finally realized that boats really aren't so bad. I was so excited she was coming along. The 3 Amigas weren't complete without all three of us. :) I wish I could show you amazing pictures of the snorkeling. But unfortunately, due to the storm, the water visibility was horrible. In fact, it was so bad that you couldn't even see your hand in front of your face, or in my case, the huge rock I was about to slam into. I ended up cutting my leg open, but didn't realize until I got back on the boat and looked down to find a bloody leg. Thankfully, there were no hungry sharks swimming around that part of the ocean. I guess my luck isn't so bad after all. Me and the girls took pics with our underwater cameras, but those pics haven't been developed yet. And who knows if anything will show up anyway. Fingers crossed that they turned out!

We headed back to the island feeling a little deflated that the snorkeling was a waste. But once we got back, Wendy found a wild boar and became friends with it. Its so funny how much she loves all creatures. And they just love her. Any normal person might be a little apprehensive being in a strange place and seeing a boar walking towards you... but not Wendy. Gotta love her for that!

I was completely in awe with the sand, or lack there of, on the island. The whole shore was covered with these beautiful little rocks. And I loved how they looked like little poppy seeds on my feet. I was in my own little world collecting rocks and shells.. until I was told it was illegal to take the rocks back to the States. I'd like to say that I put the rocks back where they belonged.. but then I'd be lying. Oops, my bad. :)

Poppy Seed Piggies

The highlight of this day was, hands down, the ride home. The storm had gotten a lot worse and the water was incredibly choppy. Wendy had now decided that she, in fact, loved boats and had her hands up in the air enjoying the ride. The rest of us on the boat were a little terrified though. We almost cap-sized by huge waves like twice, but Wendy was oblivious, and shouted "Again!" after each time. We all couldn't stop laughing.

And then we saw the whales. I was so freakin' excited! All of a sudden we had this private show. A mommy and her baby just swimming along, right around our boat. Maybe we didn't see any cool fish while snorkeling, but I'd trade whales for fish any day. It was soooo awesome and I wish I had pictures to prove it. But I was too in the moment to capture any pictures. You always hear about people going on whale watching tours and not seeing any, and here we were getting a free show. Right place, right time. I love it when that happens. :)

After watching the whales, we got back to our ride home. The boat needed to be balanced, so the driver, Douglas, told me I had to sit in the back with him. Me and Miss thought it was funny cause he was kinda flirting with me all day, and I was the smallest of the whole group. How much was I really affecting the weight.. but I'm so glad I switched seats. Seriously, I have never laughed so hard in my whole life! The water was so choppy that there were these constant waves toppling over me. Here I was, flying through the water, balancing on some little seat with nothing to hold onto.. at any moment I could be bumped overboard. And the whole time being drenched by huge waves. It was so freakin' fun! I wish I could explain it better.. Missy joined in on the fun, and I'm so glad, cause she was able to experience what I was enjoying oh so very much. I think the closest thing I can get to explaining it, is I was like Captain Dan in Forrest Gump. You know that scene where he's on the shrimp boat during the storm... no joke.

Best seats in the house!

There is some video of me and Miss' wild ride on somebody's camera but I have yet to see it. Everyone on the boat had side aches from laughing on the ride home. I guess our faces were pretty classic while being destroyed by waves. I don't think I've ever been so soaked before. And the salt water had completely destroyed my sensitive eyes. But I loved it. Definitely the best part of my trip. If I could take that ride everyday, I'd be the happiest girl. It was the biggest rush. Pure excitement, mixed with a small amount of fear of being thrown over. God, how I love Costa Rica!

My Partner in Crime

Backstreet's back, alright!

2008-12-27T15:36:00.000-08:00

And by Backstreet, I clearly mean me. Hi friends. I've missed you. I just wanted to give a little shout out to the cute guy at the Apple store that replaced my hard drive. I seem to have lost his name with the rest of the information that was on my computer. Moment of silence for the pictures and music that was lost in the catastrophe.... But on a brighter side, I feel as though I am starting with a clean slate. Just in time for the new year!

Because I am physically incapable of throwing anything away, its always nice when some force beyond your control does it for you. I always see those episodes on Oprah about hoarders. And I think how sad the way these people live their lives. And then I see boxes in my closet of like old school stuff. Old math tests from middle school, or unfinished homework assignments that were never turned in. Clearly I didn't think it was important enough to finish or even turn in, yet there's no way I could part with it now. Haha, so pathetic. But in my mind I think I am fine, because at least my clutter is stored in a tidy tupperware container.

But anyway, I'm rambling... I just wanted to say, its good to be back and I will get to posting the rest of my Costa Rica trip along with other crazy things that have happened since I've been away. Hope everyone had a great holiday season.. I, for one, had an amazing one. But am so ready for it to be over and finally get back to the ol' hustle and bustle of everyday life. And please, can someone please remind whoever is controlling this weather that we are California, where the temperature is in the 70's year round. I don't know how many cold nights I can take...

And on that note, remember when I wanted to move to Boston? You are much stronger than I, Whit.. :)

Bad News Bears

2008-11-30T19:22:00.000-08:00

So, due to the fact I am poor and the outlook isn't so good on being rich anytime soon, I've had to make some adjustments. I've cancelled my internet and probably should've cancelled my cable as well. But I'd rather give up food than have to give up Mad Men, Gossip Girl and Grey's Anatomy. Priorities, ya know. Anyhow, now my favorite place is the good ol' Newport Beach Library. I'm still amazed at how I never knew about all the free stuff a library offers.. sometimes when I'm there I feel like the Little Mermaid discovering all the dinglehoppers and thingamabobs they have there. And then there are the people. I could write wonders about the "others", as I like to call them. There was Mr. Antsy Pants, who I encountered while signing up for my library card. He wanted to return his books right that second, in person, because he "didn't trust the drop-box". So the fact I was there before him, getting helped before him, did not sit well. Then, there's sweet Mr. SBD, who decided of all the places in the library to sleep, directly behind my chair was the spot he liked best. And to boot, decided to silently fill the air with heavenly gifts from his butt cheeks. Hence the name, Mr. SBD. But there is the occasional "dream boat" there surrounded by books and hottness. I always wonder if he is studying for his medical degree or maybe his bar exam. Or maybe he's studying all the literature and poetry so one day when we're married, I'll be surprised with little love notes that he sprinkled throughout the house. Hey, a girl can dream, right?

But anyway, I'm rambling.... So yesterday, I'm at the library. I'm checking email. I'm checking out the cutie across the way. I'm blogging. And then for no reason at all, my computer freezes. I try to restart it, but while its rebooting, the screen goes grey, and then a little symbol pops up. Seriously. You've got to be joking. So, until I can get an appointment at the Apple store to see what is wrong with Gizmo (doesn't everybody name their electronics?) my blog is pretty much out of commission. I hope my Costa pics are okay, but I'm pretty sure everything is gone. Please keep little Gizmo in your thoughts, so we can get right back to blogging.

And some thoughts for me too, that I can get a job soon. Thankfully, the parents have accepted my rent in the form of hugs and kisses, but my credit card companies denied such attempts. And who knows how much longer that will last with my parents. Just in case-- Mom, I love what you've done with your hair! Have you lost weight? :)

I went for an interview the other night at this restaurant owned by one of my old regulars. He's been telling me for like over a year how he wants me to work for him, so I went in to take him up on his offer. Turns out he not only wants to give me a job, but apparently he thinks we should start "seeing each other" as well. Yep. That's my life. Needless to say, the job search continues...

Chasing Waterfalls

2008-11-23T16:05:00.000-08:00

I love this place.

So, its day two in Costa Rica, and the possibilities are endless of things to do. So after breakfast we decided to take a little hike over to the waterfall. Everywhere in Costa is "5-10" minutes away.. but its really not. And I think the reason everyone says that is because no one wears a watch. And I can't blame them, because I don't wear one either. I'd like to say its because I have really small wrists and watches just don't fit. But the real reason, is I don't know how to read analog clocks very well, and I think I'm a little too old for a digital. But anyway, back to the story.....

So we find the path to the waterfall. We don't really know where we're going, just trying to follow the water upstream for "5-10" minutes until we hit a waterfall. But that's not counting the time it takes to stop and take pictures, or make sure Wendy is making it okay. Props to her for her major efforts on those hikes. She was a real trooper. But the trail was so incredibly beautiful. It wasn't too hot out, lucky for us, the sun was being shaded by all the trees.

I love this picture. I don't know why but it just seems so quiet and peaceful.

When we finally arrived at the waterfall, we didn't waste anytime jumping right in. The water was the perfect temperature and the sun was out to keep us warm. Me and Miss had a blast climbing behind the waterfall and jumping off the little rocks. I felt like a kid all over again. I wish we had the pictures of inside the waterfall. We took those with waterproof cameras, so my fingers are crossed they turn out. If so, they're going to be amazing. The exhilaration you feel being inside this massive waterfall, I mean, I really don't have the words. Me and Miss couldn't wipe the grins off our face no matter how hard we tried. But then, again, I wasn't really trying.

Perfection

Looking for fishies...

Jumping off the rocks.. Weeee!!

While we were swimming, Wendy met a guy. Surprise surprise. His name was Danny and he was telling her about another trail that leads to the top of the waterfall. I was hesitant at first. Rule #1 of travel is don't follow strangers on trails you know nothing about. But the odds were against him. 4 against 1. And my gut is pretty good at telling me if somethings up, and it was keeping pretty quiet. So we packed up our things and were off. This was truly a hike. The trail we followed in the morning was a cake walk compared to this one. But I was loving it. It was so awesome to just hike through the jungle and not worry about snakes or bugs, or aborigines. Just kidding. Aborigines don't live in Costa Rica. :)

Then we came to this dead end. The trail was completely blocked off and had barbed wire on the fence around it. And then I thought, Crap, this is it. My gut fooled me. Mom is gonna be so pissed at me. And then Danny starts saying how a tree fell over and that's why the trail is blocked. I'm pretty hesitant to continue on, but then me and the girls gave it a once over and it looked pretty legit. So we climbed through and carried on. And now looking back, I feel bad for doubting Danny. He is probably the sweetest, most humble person I've ever met. Like ever. He was patient and supportive of Wendy going through the rough parts. He gave us an all day tour for free. We had to pretty much beg him to let us buy him lunch that day. He really was my favorite person we met on the trip. So, I'm glad I trusted my gut and went on with that hike.

Can't stop smiling....

When we got to the top, the view was insane. There was a fun rope swing to play on. And Danny and Miss were the daredevils and jumped off this super high branch that stuck out over the water. I was content with the rope swing, only so many thrills a day.

Those afraid of heights, don't look down.

Danny & Miss monkeying around on the rocks.

Look at Missy fly!

So. much. fun!!

Wendy was content just staying grounded.

Danny, the fearless flyer.

Miss taking the plunge!

We packed in a full day of activities that day. Definitely one of my favorite days of the trip. And after all that fun, I'd like to think TLC would enjoy chasing these types of waterfalls. Who wouldn't?! :)

Day One: Continued...

2008-11-18T12:51:00.000-08:00

Our Bungalow, view from the street. Surrounded by scenery.

And we wondered why we had bugs.

My new favorite past time. Everyone should have one.

The view from our porch. Breathtaking.

Pink leaves everywhere! Its like Dede's heaven..

After we got all settled, we had a little yoga class to stretch us out from our 13-hour travel day. Being in this outdoor pavillion, the sun has set, the crickets are chirping, the sound of the waves crashing. Well, to put it lightly, just a complete state of relaxation... its a moment I will never forget. And we had a whole week's worth of opportunities just like that ahead of us. Life sure is sweet.

Brynn, the yoga master and reason we are all on this trip.

All our breakfast and dinners were taken care of on the retreat. We were so spoiled with our meals. The first night we ate at Organico, and at first I was a little hesitant. Vegetarian meals, maybe even sometimes vegan.. well, this girl loves her meat. I didn't know how I'd survive without my juicy morsels of protein. But, like the old saying goes, Don't knock it till you try it.. and I was blown away by how good this food was. And no guilt in eating it either. Being back home, that's one of the things I miss most about my trip. And Prema, the restaurant owner's dog. It seems everywhere I visit, dogs always find me. I guess its just their intuition. I love it cause it reminds me of my boys waiting for me back home.

After dinner we all met up at the one and only bar in town called, Chico's. I didn't really know anyone other than Miss, Wendy, Brynn and her parents. So it was fun to have a little meet and greet. We played some pool and then some of us went down to the beach to check out the scene... the journey into bliss had surely begun.

The lovely ladies playing on the beach.

Prema, our little shadow.

Our First Dip

The Journey into Bliss, is not so blissful...

2008-11-18T09:04:00.000-08:00

Even though I haven't received all the pictures from my trip, I thought I'd start posting them anyway. Missy's camera has all the fun video footage from zip-lining and the last couple days.. but I figure if I post it by each day, by the time I make it to that point, I'll have those pictures. So here goes... I hope you enjoy these pictures as much as I enjoyed taking them.

Day One: Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger...

So, due to my excellent procrastination skills, I was running around like a mad women the day we were leaving. I put all daily functions aside... eating, drinking water, breathing... and just focused on "my list". As we were driving to LAX, and I finally had a chance to evaluate my condition, I realized the hunger pangs that had been stabbing me all day. So I told myself, just get through security and you can get food in the Terminal while you wait 2 hours for your flight. Imagine my surprise when we finally get through and meet up with the rest of our group to find out that the restaurant in the terminal is closed. And the Starbucks next to it. And the snack stand down the way. Everybody say it with me, "Seriously?? Seriously!" There was no food coming. No ice cold bottled water. The only thing that damn terminal had open was a drinking fountain. A room temperature trickle of water, which had a line. By the time you walked back from the drinking fountain, you were thirsty again. It was unreal. I was in survival mode. Conserving energy. No talking, no laughing... Just kept repeating, make it to the flight, make it to the flight.

Wasting away at the airport... will blog for food.

And now is the part of the story where I tell you we flew out the night of Daylight Savings. Our flight was scheduled to leave at like 2:05, so we were confused as to what time that actually was. And when we asked the counter, they had no sort of answer either. So long, miserable story short, we had to wait an additional hour at the Gate. And then the only meal we'd be getting on the plane was breakfast towards the end of the 6-hour flight. But I made it through that wilderness... oh, somehow I made it through, ooh ooh... (Sorry, couldn't resist)

And after another 5-6 hour nightmarish bus ride through Costa Rica (and I thought my driving was bad... Yikes), we had finally reached our destination. Hotel Los Mangoes, in Montezuma. AKA Paradise. Welcome, friends.

The Shuttle Crew, and also half the kids attending the retreat.

Freddy, Our first Tico friend. There's just something about him that reminds me of my Great-Grandpa.

He's like the younger, Latin version.

Me and Miss on our bus ride. Bellies full. Two happy little Campers.

Final Destination, Bungalow 18.

Remind me again why I have no money...

2008-11-13T15:01:00.000-08:00

Oh, that's right. Because I just got back from Costa Rica where I returned without a single penny, or colone, to my name. Because I borrowed my Dad's camera for the trip, and lucky me, someone dropped it and broke it. Because my Dad gets to celebrate Christmas early with his brand new camera. Because I get to not celebrate Christmas this year due to the fact my Dad's camera was $260.00. Because for some reason my Amex card wasn't working at Costco, and the only other form of payment is cash.

But mostly, because I am broker than broke, yet boarding a plane in an hour to go to San Francisco and Sacramento this weekend. I hear the best things in life are free... I can't wait to experience those and get outta debt.

Pura Vida!

2008-11-10T09:26:00.000-08:00

So, I have finally returned from my trip to Neverland. Costa Rica was absolutely blissful and its probably going to be a tough adjustment to get back in the swing of things. Whenever I go on vacation its pretty easy for me to immerse myself in the culture and make myself comfortable. But on this trip, it was a whole other level.

Montezuma is literally like a black whole that sucks you in. While you are there, you completely forget about any other place than where you are right now. I hear we have a new president. When did that happen? :) But with all the lush landscapes, the beautiful beaches, the people, the food, the dogs running around everywhere... you are literally in paradise. The saying there is "Pura Vida", or the pure life, and it is exactly what it is. While you're there, you realize that life is so simple. There is no need for money. Hikes up the waterfalls and walks on the beach are free. You have an abundance of food everywhere around you. Coconuts, Mangoes, Fish... all at your fingertips. One day when me and the girls were walking back from lunch, we stopped and picked up a coconut. Busted it open on a rock, survivor-style, and had the freshest coconut and coconut juice for not even a single penny. I didn't even know I liked coconut till that moment. It was so delicious.

I know you all are eagerly awaiting pictures.. and due to the fact I borrowed my Dad's camera, I can't upload them without his cables. So, patience, little ones. But I can't wait to share them with you along with all our crazy adventures. I think Missy, Wendy and I were all at the right place at the right time with this trip.

And now I must get back to reality and the daily grind of work. But to wrap things up, I just wanna say...

"Pura freakin' vida!" ... I love my life.

Oh, and one more thing..

2008-11-01T10:03:00.000-07:00

Happy Belated Halloween!

Here's some pictures of my brother's little pumpkin...

I love his little arched eyebrow. And his hands. If anyone watched "So you think you can dance", the middle picture looks like little Nathan is doing the "IV real" sign that all the dancers did. Maybe we have a future pop-and-locker... we'll see. ;)

Procrastination...

2008-11-01T09:16:00.000-07:00

So the time is finally here. I leave for Costa Rica tonight. A trip that has been in the works for like six months. And clearly, I'm not ready. I haven't really packed. I literally have the longest list of things to do, and instead of getting to them, I'm blogging. Yep, and I'm pretty sure this is why I have white hairs at 27. My procrastination has made me skip the whole gray process completely.

But I haven't yet decided if its my procrastination or just the pure excitement of the trip that has paralyzed any sort of preparation. Then again, maybe its just ADD. I'm sure it happens to everyone. I make a decision to start packing. And this is how it usually pans out...

Grab suitcase. Stare at empty suitcase. Look at hamper full of dirty clothes. Clothes that need to go in empty suitcase. Sort clothes and throw a load in washer. Go back to suitcase. Still empty. Google forecast for trip to plan outfits. Google fun things to do in Costa Rica. Google Monkeys. Google "how to smuggle monkeys" just in case I find one that I like. Remember I have two animals already. Remember they have no food. Go to Costco to buy food. Buy water, toilet paper and gum. Forget the dog food. Feel bad. Take dogs to beach. On my way home, go to Petco to buy food. Trader Joe's is next door. Buy me food. Buy me way too much food. Go home. Put clothes in dryer. Clean dogs. Clean house. Remember empty suitcase. Remember empty belly. Feed belly. Remember Gossip Girl. Remember One Tree Hill. Remember all the other shows on my DVR. Belly full. Eyes heavy. Suitcase still empty.

So, with that being said, I better get to it. I'm sure the next blog will be full of my Central American adventures. Can't wait to share them with you!

Adios!

Back By Popular Demand

2008-10-21T12:51:00.000-07:00

So of all the things that have happened in my life, to date, this one definitely ranks somewhere in the Top 3. So to all that have heard the story before, I'm sure you won't mind hearing it again. And to those who haven't, well, you're welcome. :) Here's to you, Ashley...

Ever since I can remember, my Dad has had season tickets to the Angels games. Field level, first base side. Perfect seats for night games, but a day game in those seats, is a guaranteed farmer's tan and a possible heat stroke. I fully believe Angels Stadium is where I fell in love with the male tush. Having unobstructed views of J.T. Snow's gluteus maximus for how ever many years he was on the team, well, I believe Jesse from Full House said it best, "Have Mercy!" When I think of that stadium and the players, I have so many fond memories! Meeting Tim Salmon, chatting with Figgins about my Grandma on plenty of occasions, Game 6 of the World Series, the list goes on! But June 18, 2008 will always hold a place in my heart.. or, better yet, maybe my leg. :)

Here's what happened..

When my Dad gives me tickets to the game, I'm pretty much the last possible person on the list. He's asked everyone, probably even the gardener, and when they decline its always me who gets them. No hard feelings, Dad. I love going to the game, but finding people to come with is usually the hard part. And then typically the day after the game, you get all these calls saying "Oh, I totally would've gone!" And so on this particular game, Angels vs. Mets, no one could go. I finally thought I had talked my cousin into going. But it turned out it would just be me, my cousin's boyfriend Dan, and his son, Dillon. Not awkward at all. Me on a date with my cousin's boyfriend and his kid. I should've known it was going to be an interesting night from that point on.

So on our way to the game, we were talking about the guy in this picture below. Please notice where the ball is headed, and by the look on his face, I'm sure its not hard to see. But for all those that weren't so good at Where's Waldo.. its headed right to his crotch.

So we're now at the game and its late in the innings. Game is entertaining, but nothing too exciting. Then good ol' Vladmir Guerrero steps up to the plate. He's such a strong hitter, that its always exciting when he's at bat. So my eyes are locked on the field. Here comes the pitch, crack of the bat, and then it all goes into slo-mo.. Suddenly its like I'm in a scene out of Matrix. The crowd parts like Neo dodging bullets, crazy back bends, it was unreal. And then I see it. The little white missile which looks like its heading in my direction. But it can't be. There were rows and aisles of people in between me and that ball just seconds ago. But here I was, in a face-off. Me and a line-drive ball with my name on it. Karma, coming straight at me. I kinda sat there, for what seemed like forever, trying to make a deal with this ball. I didn't have a plan, shoot, I didn't even have a mitt. I'd learned after years of letdowns, that even though our seats were in the zone, actually taking home a foul ball was like finding a unicorn. So I told myself its not you. And then, in a last ditch effort, I curled into the fetal position and prepared for the worst. I'm almost positive, "Mama, No!" may have been screamed. Can't really recall. All I remember is the feeling of that ball attempting to murder my shin. The moments after that are kinda fuzzy. I just remember hugging my leg and trying with all my might not to cry. Everyone knows there's no crying in baseball. And then it hit me, where's the ball?? And that's when I heard the chants... Give her the ball, give her the ball.. I was confused, where did the ball go? I checked my leg to see if it had in fact been embedded into it, luckily it wasn't. But where did it go? And that's when I realized where the ball went.

The old, grumpy man sitting directly next to me had it. The same guy who hadn't watched a single moment of the game, because he was on his cell phone the entire time. The same guy who let his 7-yr old son wander off by himself for over an hour and never once looked up from his text messages with a look of concern that his son hadn't come back. That guy had my ball. Of all the people, that guy. Seriously! So in between the stabs of pain and the fighting back of tears, I completely missed what was going on around me. I looked up to find around 300 people on my side, rooting for me, and my ball. No one was watching the game. The crowd around section 127 were all standing up and screaming at this guy. That guy. "Give her the ball, give her the ball, give her the ball..." People I had never met, people who probably couldn't even see what was going on, all joining together to cheer for me. Taking videos and pictures of him, threatening him, "We're gonna put you on YouTube!" I felt like a celebrity. And that guy?? Well, he just sat there and ignored everything. At first I was mad, and said, "Seriously, give me the ball!" But then I decided to go the other route. Kill him with kindness, or at least be the bigger person. That's about the time the Usher came with some ice, and I was really feeling the pain. Knots were already forming and you could see the bump beginning to raise. The chants went on for about 20 minutes before the Usher came back down to give me a ball. Clearly not my ball, but a ball to quiet the crowd.

And then the crowd really went nuts. I stood up, feeling like Kerry Strug in the Olympics. Trying to stand straight, but hopping because it hurt too much. Dan & Dillon were in awe, and pointed out that I was on the JumboTron. Twice! Some random guy came and took our picture. It was the coolest thing I'd ever experienced. And then "That Guy" leans over and tells me, "That was nice of them to give you a ball." Seriously!? I wanted to kill him. I wanted to send a message with my mind to Guerrero that next time you need to aim one seat to the left, and put a little heat in it this time. But no such luck. And that's when the crowd began to chant again.. "Give her the real ball.." It was hilarious! Eventually the guy's kid came back, and everyone realized he wasn't going to give the ball up, and went back to watching the game. Or maybe they felt weird throwing peanuts at a guy with a kid. But every so often you'd hear an occasional "Give her the ball!" and I'd smile all over again.

Mr. Guerrero really did a number on my leg. Some were telling me to get my leg signed, others were telling me to sue. But I was pretty content with the way things were. Mostly because of all the days to not shave my legs, I chose this one. But what if he had just given me the ball? There would have been no JumboTron, no chanting, and no 15 minutes of fame at the Angels Stadium. I just wish it wasn't "That Guy" who got the ball. I tried to be the better person, but when he left with his kid and bent down to tell me, "That looks like it really hurts.." I couldn't resist. With what sign language I knew, I told him he was #1 and then said some unladylike things that I will choose to withhold. The entire crowd booed him as he was walking up the aisle and I wondered what kind of lesson he thought he was teaching his son.

In the end, it doesn't matter anyway. Everyone probably forget about that moment already, and I'm pretty sure that guy's kid lost the baseball the very next day. But not me. The bruise spread over the entire length of my lower leg and stayed there for over a month. And the knot took a couple months to work itself out. But I will always remember that moment, and everytime Vladi steps up to the plate, I feel a tingle in my leg. And I smile. I truly believe baseball is America's favorite past time. Now let's sing everybody:

"Now its one, two, three strikes you're out at the ooooolldd.. balllll.. gaaaaaame!"

Circle of Life

2008-10-11T10:48:00.000-07:00

So, on Wednesday my brother became a proud little daddy. Nathan James graced us with his presence around 12:30 pm, weighing in at 7 lbs. 11 oz and 21 inches long. Great betting numbers! It was so great to see the excitement in everyone's faces as we anticipated meeting the little spud. My dad had zero patience and was the one pacing back and forth. Even though we were supposed to be waiting in the lobby for the news, my Dad kept sneaking back to get updates and was the first to break the news. It was so great to see my Dad so excited. If anyone knows this man, kids are not his cup of tea. He loves his grandkids, there's no question about that, but he just wishes they were like little mannequins to look at, instead of rambunctious little hyenas with messy hands. But he was the first to arrive at the hospital, and the one most likely to page the nurses. He was finally getting his legacy.. little Nathan to carry on the family name, and I'm sure the family business too.

Little Nathan, or as I call him, Nater Potater, is THE sweetest baby ever. I love kids, love love them! But newborns always scare me. They seem so fragile and I don't wanna wake them in case they cry. But not this one. I am so addicted to this little baby. He is such a great baby! I can't put him down. The nurses were so sad to see him go. They just loved our little spud! And Chris is so stinkin' cute with him. I always knew my brother would be a great Dad, but I have tears in my eyes right now thinking about the two of those kids together. My brother tries to be so tough, and then he puts this baby in his arms, and you just see him melt right before your eyes. Life is seriously such a beautiful thing!

But life has its ebbs and flows. With life comes death. And I got the news today that my Great-Grandma passed away this morning. Although my heart is broken, it is also so full. This woman lived such an amazing life. She lived it to the fullest, topping out at 107 years old. I can't say that this is something that we weren't prepared for, but it still came as a surprise. Twice a year, the family meets in Laughlin. Once to celebrate her birthday in March, and the other to celebrate her son's, or my Uncle Donny, in October. My Uncle Donny passed away a couple months ago and so this was going to be a big celebration. One last hoorah for Donny at the Craps table. And we'd always say whenever Grandma was slowing down, "Just make it to Laughlin..." and she would. But unfortunately, Grandma missed the trip by two weeks. Everyone is still planning on going and celebrating these two amazing lives, but its just bittersweet. It just isn't the same without our Jackpot Mary.

I found myself being kinda selfish. Wanting her to live forever because she was such a rare jewel and I didn't want to let go. But at the same time, she's been living for forever. I mean, she was born in 1901.. she has lived through everything! I don't read history books, I just talk to her. Its way more accurate and entertaining. But as much as she loved her family, I know she was tired. She would say, "I'm ready to go home. You know, Bill isn't going to wait for me for forever..." And that always put things into perspective for me. Even though I knew he would.

My Grandpa passed away when I was a baby, but I love looking at pictures of the two of them. They just look like this classic couple. The two of them probably had no clue what their love could create. They were this cute, little family of four, which later turned into 11 grandchildren, 22 great-grandchildren, and 11 great-great-grandchildren.

I feel so honored to be a part of this family. To not only have loved this woman, but to have been loved by this woman. She was always so excited to see everyone even when she was achy and tired. And even when she was weak, she would still hold your hand with her tight grip, look you straight in the face, smile and say "It's so good to see you." And it made it all worth it. The early morning alarm clock on saturday, the traffic, the long drive.. that one moment. I'm sure going to miss that.

I thank her for making me the "tough ol' swede" that I am today. I thank her for teaching me the importance of family. I thank her for teaching me that sometimes you just need to get away and hit the slots. I thank her for teaching me about the simple things. That life is just as rich living in a tiny one-bedroom house in Santa Monica than in any penthouse or ocean-front property. But most of all, I thank her for her love.

I'll miss you, Grandma! If I'm anything like you, I guess I'll see you in 80 years.. Love you!

I'm a big kid now...

2008-10-01T01:15:00.000-07:00

So, I think there are two kinds of people in this world. Those who hate doctors and only go visit them when they are on their death bed. And those that just realize its a fact of life, and suck it up and go. I am the death bed type. I've never even had a bad experience with them.. well, that I can remember at least. But then again, when I was a kid I did crack my head open twice in one week and also got a pencil stuck in my eye. Sorry, Mom. I now know that pencils go on paper, and foreheads don't belong on toilet seats. But those events happened so long ago, I have absolutely no recollection. I always figured I hated doctors because doctors give shots, and I hate needles. Then I became a woman, and I have remembered the real reason why... all you ladies should relate, and I doubt any guys are reading this. I apologize in advance if you are.

About a month ago, I got some results back from my doctor that there were some cells of "undetermined significance". I always thought that was my problem in life.. undetermined significance. But I guess it was on a deeper level. Anyways, my Mom had cervical cancer when she was my age, and ended up having a hysterectomy a couple years later so she freaked out. Which in turn, freaked me out. I was trying to stay positive. But due to the fact my Mom has worked in the medical field for over 20 years, she had diagnosed me completely. But she wanted me to go see her doctor, cause he was a specialist in cancer. The only catch is he only sees patients with/or recovering from Cancer. So I'm hoping he doesn't want to see me cause that means I'm A-Ok. And then I got a call confirming an appointment. Crap. Next thing I know I'm hearing how I should freeze my eggs cause my cervix isn't going to be strong enough to hold a child. I'm totally imagining an episode of my future cooking show.. I go into the freezer to get some peas and almost grab my frozen eggs instead, and say, "Oops, don't wanna use those little guys. They're for when I wanna make 'cutie pies' not 'pot pies'.. completely different recipe!" My Mom has me totally freaked out, but I try to remain calm. The Secret is in full effect. Power of positive thinking, yet I'm also thinking I need to start checking things off my "Bucket List".. First thing, of course, to finish watching Bucket List. I have tried three times.

So the day of my appointment I'm pretty calm. I don't really know what to expect, so I don't know what to be nervous about. I just didn't want any blood to be taken. Hate those things. There's just gotta be an easier way to get that stuff. But then its time to go back. Luckily I had my Mom with me to ask and answer all the right questions. They do all the basics... check my blood pressure, pulse, weight and height (By the way, I'm shrinking! I used to be 5'3"..now I'm 5' 1 1/2".. I don't need to get married cause my clock is ticking, I need to get married before I become a little person! No hard feelings to all the mini's out there..) and then this young guy walks in the room. I was a little taken back because I was under the impression my doctor was older. And then he mentioned he was an intern and would be just asking me a couple questions. I was relieved. So far, so good. This appointment is a breeze. Next thing I know I'm in "the position", where I'm pretty sure I feel like I'm dialated to a 10 and ready to push. Baby's head is crowning.. and I'm in a room with like way too many people in it. Literally, everyone and my mother.

I'm so incredibly uncomfortable that the only thing I can think of is to tell jokes. I start with, "So, Mom... how are yooouuuu?" "You always said you wanted me under a spotlight.. guess you didn't mean one like this.." I'm fighting the urge to whistle the "Jeapordy" think music.. or asking my Mom to hand me my crossword puzzle to finish. Then the doctor says, "Everything looks great! Nothing to worry about.." so I'm totally relieved. Then I hear the scariest six words of my life. He looks at the intern and says, "Do you wanna have a look?" Seriously?! I mean, I know what an intern is, I watch Grey's Anatomy. But, seriously! His response, "Oh yes, of course!" I wanted to ask them if any other people would like to "take a look" while I'm here.. maybe my mom, any other interns, nurses, complete strangers, and of course, their mothers. But I kept my mouth closed. I was mortified. In case there is any confusion, this exact moment is the reason I avoid the doctor's office.

But afterwards my Mom praised me on how composed I was. Had I known I had the option to freak out, I would have. But I didn't get that memo when I signed in. Maybe next time. All I know is I'm pretty sure this is the moment where I became a grown-up. As I was getting dressed, I was singing the song from the Pull-ups commercial...

"Mommy, Wow! I'm a big kid now, bum bum!!

Hats off to all my friends with babies, I'm sure this sounds like a cake walk compared to what you've all been through... can't wait. :)

Timing is everything...

2008-09-28T10:15:00.000-07:00

So, pretty much most my life I've had everyone telling me, "You need to be on SNL".. I always laughed it off because, well, I thought people thinking I was funny enough for SNL, was like one of the funniest things I'd ever heard. But certain people come into your lives for certain reasons, and my friend Mikey actually convinced me one day to get going on the whole SNL process. The west coast recruitment program starts pretty much with one thing, the Groundlings. Its where all the greats started.. Will Farrell and a bunch of others that at this present moment I cannot remember. But to be in the same program as Ron Burgundy.. well, that's something else.

So after much coaxing and bribing from my friend, I did it. I had an audition set-up. And pretty much the second after I set it all up, I wanted to vomit. I had to keep telling myself, I can do this. I had done countless comedic exercises with kids that were currently in the program, and I didn't really think they were all that funny. So I said to myself, if they can do it, I totally can. Mistake #1.

So, today was the day. I had to drive up to LA for the audition so I had to make sure to allow plenty of time. Tardiness is not an option. You aren't there on time? You lose your chance. So me and a girl I'd met named, Lane, planned on going together. She lived a couple blocks away from the Groundlings so I met at her place. The dress code for the audition is simple. Wear something comfortable. It isn't a fashion show. So, I wore my most comfortable pants. I'd worn them everywhere. England, Paris, Italy... They were my pants. THE pants. Mistake #2.

Because tardiness is extremely important, its no surprise me and Lane are running behind schedule. So we are literally sprinting to the audition down Melrose. And then it happens. Rrrriiippp! A little more information on the pants here... They are like a hip version of sweatpants. Or should I say, they were. Super baggy, but with a cute style. They were like the most expensive "comfy" pants I'd ever bought. They were like 80 dollars from Anthropologie. And because I am a midget, well 3 inches shy of one, they were super long.

So back to the story here... I'm running. My pants are dragging. I am on my way to an audition that could potentially change my entire life. I have horrible luck. Yep, you guessed it! In mid-stride I hear one of the most terrifying sounds ever. Which is then followed by a cool breeze. Never a good sign. So long story short, my comfy pants turned to the most uncomfortable pants two seconds before I ran into the building. Seriously!?! And it wasn't just a little rip. My right pant leg was ripped clean up to the back of my thigh. And by thigh, I mean, almost butt cheek. You can imagine my first impression.. completely out-of-breath from sprinting and the only thing I can get out is, "Yes, we made it" and "Would anyone happen to have a sewing machine handy or perhaps a box of safety pins??"And that's around the same time I run into Mikey Day, who then introduces me to the lady running the audition today, who repeatedly mentions to her how hilarious I am. Mistake #3.

Can you see where this is going?? Long story short, it was the biggest bomb in history. I've never in my life been at a loss for words. And there I was on stage completely dumbfounded and speechless. I called Mikey Day after the audition and told him how bad it went. He reassured me with this, "Jamie, there are complete retards in my class that made it through the audition. Absolute retards. You'll totally make it." So when I called him the next day with the news that I didn't in fact make it, I told him, "Apparently, on the totem pole of comedians, complete retards are above me. I'm not even funny enough to ride the short bus."

That was almost a year ago, and I haven't mustered the courage to try another beating. I also can't think of which pair of my favorite pants I want to kill. Lightning does strike twice, you know. But last night I found myself watching SNL. Haven't seen it in forever! But I saw a sketch that blew my mind, and I had another epiphany. Maybe I can't physically be on SNL, but as I was watching the skit, I couldn't help but think, this character is so me! I found myself in this moment where I thought, "I did it. I finally made it on SNL!"

I'm going to start sending anonymous faxes to the writers of SNL. Various things about me, and experiences I've encountered. And maybe one night I'll see someone portraying me. Shoot, maybe I'll just send them a link to my blog. I hope you enjoy the video below as much as I do. Whit, I could totally hear you laughing as I was watching it too..

Just kidding about the just kidding...

2008-09-28T10:05:00.001-07:00

D is for Donut..

2008-09-25T10:14:00.000-07:00

So, I was feeling kinda bad about not blogging recently. But I just didn't know what to write about. And then the RANDOMEST thing happened to me like five minutes ago. So here goes..

I don't know why but I have been craving a donut for like the last week. I can usually fight it off. Convince myself that maybe a banana, or something healthier than a warm, chocolatey bar of heaven would be just as satisfying. Nice try, Jame. So this morning the craving was too strong. I rolled out of bed, threw a sweater and some rainbows on, and was out the door. Didn't brush my teeth or my hair.. didn't even put a bra on. So clearly this would be the best time to meet a man. Right?? So I leave my house.. I didn't even shut my front door cause in my mind I'm thinking I'll be back in one minute.

As I'm pulling up to the donut shop I see a man walking in. He kinda does a double take at me in the car but then continues to walk in the shop. Clearly its because I look like I got hit by a bus.. twice.. but I shrug it off. The donut is just too important to care. When I walk in the shop, he turns around and says to me, "What kinda of donut am I buying you this morning?" My response was "Seriously??" (I just want to clarify that I had to search my entire house for the dollar that I was going to use for the donut.. because since I quit my bartending job, I literally don't have a dollar to my name..) He then says, "Yeah, I'm buying today." I said, "Oh, its fine, I can buy my own donut." But really, I can't even buy my own donut.. In my mind I'm thinking, How sweet. I'm this guy's little charity project today. Feeding the homeless. Way to not brush your hair. Mom is going to be so pissed when she hears about this. So he buys me my donut and a chocolate milk. I went for the small one, and he demanded I replace it for the large. Seriously, how homeless do I look right now?? And then after I say thank you, he says to me, "So when am I taking you to dinner?" Seriously?!

I was caught SO off guard, I was waiting for the shop worker to give me some sort of sign that this in fact is normal, and happens all the time. She gave me no such look. I couldn't stop laughing. For one cause its freaking hilarious how homeless I look, and two because is he seriously asking me out at a donut shop?! So I try to get going. I have no idea what the protocol is when a guy buys you a donut. I thought a polite "Thank you for your donation, it is, in fact, tax deductible" but the next thing I know I am sitting at an outside table chatting with this man. For like 45 minutes. During which he asked me to dinner like seven times, and each time I laughed it off. Does this seriously happen? I knew it was going to be a good day when I found the dollar that would buy me my donut, but this is something else.

Now I'm sure you are all wondering, what the heck does this guy look like... and here's where I also tell you that old men LOVE me. Guys my age seriously don't notice me. I'm still trying to figure out how I met Duke, the hottie from the previous post, but that's beside the point right now. So DonutMan, his real name is Fred, but that's such a Grandpa name that DonutMan sounds so much better. Anyway, DonutMan, was an attractive guy probably in his mid-40's. He was pretty casually dressed. Shorts and flip flops, but I'm pretty sure he had brushed his teeth and hair prior to leaving the house. Not so sure if he was wearing a bra. Haha, lame joke. Anyway, I mentioned I work for a construction company and then he mentions how he just sold his solar power company... for oh, 8 million dollars. And then he proceeds to tell me all this crazy info about the Earth and how global warming is bogus. So I pretty much had breakfast with Bill Nye, the Science Guy. Except a more handsome version. It was amazing and I was really interested in what he had to say. And every so often I would remind myself that I still look homeless and haven't brushed my teeth.

Seriously, so random! He asked me if I wanted another donut, and maybe that one we could eat back at my house where we would watch soap operas all day. I told him I wasn't the soap opera type, and if he would have said Food Network I would've given it another thought. But we wrapped things up. He asked for my number and I took his instead. He told me its not everyday you meet a hot girl at a donut shop. I said, maybe tomorrow will be his day, since clearly today was homeless thursday. And then he got into his convertible Jaguar, I got in my soccer mom SUV, and we parted ways. Even though I didn't get the creepy vibe from him, I took the long way home just in case he was following.

Life sure is interesting. People come into your lives for various reasons. Maybe I met DonutMan to teach me crazy facts about the Earth which will later help me win millions on Jeapordy. Or maybe it was just to get a free donut. Either way, all I have to say is:

"I got a dollar, I got a dollar, I got a dollar, hey hey hey heeyy..."

Seriously???

2008-09-15T10:53:00.000-07:00

So for those that didn't know, a couple months ago I got my heart shattered into a gajillion pieces. Before I met "B" I kinda considered myself a Grinch when it comes to love. I wouldn't allow myself to get attached because I always said I was cold and heartless. Then, he wiggled his way into my life and next thing I knew there was a beating heart in that once empty cave. But long story short, not exactly the man I thought he was. After my brief mourning period, sad songs, dark rooms, and the occasional Legally Blonde re-enactment when she's watching soaps, eating chocolates, then throws the box of chocolates at the TV and screams "Liar!".. (I always loved that part, haha).. I have now bounced back, and am stronger than ever. Meeting a hot boy like this doesn't hurt either. Hi Duke... Call me! :)

But there's always that moment when you run into the ex. I always imagined it as B walking into a room and sees me standing there looking extremely gorgeous and carefree (possibly a fan blowing my hair in the distance) and Duke on bended knee professing his undying love.. ideally, in a speedo or something that shows off a perfectly toned physique. And I just want to clarify that I don't particularly enjoy speedos. But desperate times call for desperate measures. :) But in a real world, the encounters never happen that way.

I ran into B this weekend. I was with some girlfriends at the place he worked. I knew I could just ignore him. Pretend he wasn't there. Then my friend tells me that before I got to the restaurant, they were all talking and when someone mentioned I'd be there that night, B's face lit up. And she told me that anytime someone mentions my name his face lights up. So in my mind I'm thinking this.. he still loves me. The reason he hasn't called me in over a month to apologize and say how he's the scum of the earth and messed up, is because he's been writing the perfect speech. So it was inevitable. There I was face to face with the man who I completely despise, yet am still completely in love with. Funny how that works. I say nothing. The ball is in his court, I've said my words and now its time for his. So he leans over to whisper his apology into my ear and here's what he said..

"I'm like two minutes away from having a six-pack..."

Seriously?? Seriously! For a little background, B is a total health nut. Obsessed with getting six pack abs. We once had a bet that if I drank one of his veggie shakes that he drinks like twice daily, he'd have to go sing kareoke with me. Probably one of the worst experiences of my life.. 64 oz of blended vegetables in one sitting is not pretty. I did it though.. which reminds me he still hasn't held up his end of the bargain. Standard.

So you can imagine my surprise that this was the moment I had been imagining... My first reaction was just staring at him in disbelief. Then, I had the urge to yell at him, "If I could kill someone with my mind, it would be you." But all I pretty much did was roll my eyes and walk away. All my married friends, please go kiss your husbands right now. You have no idea how happy you are that you are not single and dealing with socially retarded men such as these. I tried to think of some deeply profound and mature response.. but then remembered what I was dealing with. My response back to him was:

"Six pack. Shmix pack."

Oh, how great the single life is. I'm officially back in 6th grade. Where's my chalupa?

Beagle for sale..

2008-09-11T08:40:00.000-07:00

So, if anyone had ever told me all the things that go into having a pet, more specifically, a beagle. Well, I probably would have reconsidered. Sorry, Bax. I never remember the dogs we had when I was a kid having so many issues, but there's that whole "lucky me" in this story. If ever there were an insane breed of dog, you better believe I'm going to be the lucky one to get it.

I just want all my friends with babies to know, I feel your pain. Baxter has been a newborn baby going on 3 1/2 years now.. waking me up in the middle of the night cause he has to pee, and then right when you're back to sleep.. scratch scratch on the door, cause he wants in. I believe when I eventually have a "real baby" someday that will be the easiest adjustment for me. Sleep? What a funny word.

Some of Baxter's other highlights would be:

- His barking. Oh how sweet the sound... Its a rare blend of your average bark, a dying seal, a howler monkey, with a pinch of his own little addition depending on his mood. Oh, and its amplified by like 1000. Whenever I go to the dog beach, the second I take him off the leash, its like a bullet firing from a gun. He takes off running and screaming. I believe in his mind he's saying "Wooo Hooo, I'm free" but to the human ear it sounds like he's being murdered. And the looks from innocent bystanders? Mostly shock that something that loud is coming from something that small. I believe he gets that from his mama. I'm puny, short and little, but I'm loud. :) Everyone tells me that this is just a phase, and the barking will stop. Save the date for when that happens, I'm having a party.

- His love of animals. Definitely the best part of having a dog is the cuddling part. Baxter in particular is a major cuddle bug. I carried him everywhere when he was a pup so he is constantly needing human contact. Or so I thought. Apparently, any species will do. The one that tugs at my heart strings the most?? Without a doubt, the dead possum. My absolute favorite is when he decides to carry them into the house, and especially when he puts them on my bed. What a thoughtful dog he is. I always thought I wanted a man that surprises me with gifts. Be careful what you wish for, I guess.

- He's eco-friendly. Baxter doesn't like to add to the waste with poop bags, so he's potty trained. Or wave-trained, I guess. Normal dogs poop in the sand at the beach. But not Baxter. He walks out into the water... usually just deep enough where I can't grab it before it floats away, and just shallow enough for everyone to see what he's doing. Its probably one of the sweetest things to see Baxter run up to a little kid playing in the water, lick his face and then proceed to pop a squat and contaminate his play area. Its amazing that I haven't gotten into a fight with a furious parent yet. Knock on wood... And Baxter also only plays with gifts from nature.. pine cones, twigs.. pretty much anything that will cause a mess when he breaks it into tiny pieces and sprinkles all over the carpet, couch and my bed.

- He's a performer. Whenever I have people over, Monty always hides out in the other room. But Baxter feels out the crowd, and then proceeds to put on a show. It varies. Sometimes he humps a blanket. Sometimes a stuffed animal. But the real crowd pleaser is when he takes one of my guests jackets or sweaters, props it up on a chair or step, and then goes to town right in front of everyone. I believe he learned this from his Uncle Chris. No more slumber parties at his house.

And the one downfall to this "Best in Show" (you know, a beagle did win last year...) :

- This face. Cause its impossible to stay mad at this. Cause he looks at you with these big, sad, brown eyes but his tail is wagging a million miles an hour cause he loves you so much.

I think that's what being a parent is about after all. No matter how much torture they put you through, it would be even worse torture without them. Thank you, Baxter for teaching me that lesson. Please, for the love of God, no more gifts.

A Lesson Learned...

2008-09-09T11:48:00.000-07:00

So I always considered myself more of a street smart kinda person. School was never a struggle for me. But I definitely had my moments of complete and utter stupidity. Case in point.. Figuring out Alaska was not in fact an island. Oh yeah, and I was like 20 years old when this epiphany hit me. I'd like to give a shout out to my 909 elementary education! Ha ha :) And these moments happen all the time.. but I learned a valuable lesson this morning, and knew it was perfect for the blog.

So this last weekend I was on a major cleaning spree.. and I mean, major. Ever since I quit my bar tending job I now have weekends open, so I spent all day Saturday cleaning. My dogs, my car, my house... it was amazing how much clutter had piled up. And then it happened. I went to throw something in the trash, and I saw it. At first I kinda just looked around.. confused. Are those seeds? Did a strawberry explode in my trash can? And then it hit me... eggs. Something had gone horribly wrong in my trash can, and they had set up camp. And by they, I mean, the maggots. I believe my early detection is what saved me from completely going nuts, throwing my dogs in the car and just calling it a loss and setting my place on fire. Isn't that the only way to kill them? But the fact they were in the incubation stage and not pop-and-locking through my garbage gave me time to assess a plan. And my first thought.. Kaboom. I dunno if anyone has been graced with the presence of Kaboom.. but I believe it cleans, kills, or does everything. Probably not a product "Method" would support, but I wasn't thinking about the environment at this moment.. this was strictly survival. So I took my trash outside and Kaboom'd the crap out of it. I can only imagine what my neighbors were thinking if they overheard my screams. "Die! Die! Die!" "Get the freak out!" I mean, honestly, a whole other person I never even knew existed came out. And I'm a gemini.. I thought I knew all of my multiple personalities. I remember looking at my dogs just laying there watching me.. concerned looks on there face.. probably saying to each other.. "Uh oh, Mommy's lost it again..."

So the conclusion I reached after my battle.. the culprit was basil gone bad. So bad. For those with the weak stomachs, I won't share the details... but once again, a moment that will haunt me forever. So I decided from this point on, no more food in the trash. I'm sending everything down the garbage disposal... Which now brings me to my lesson.

Apparently... Garbage disposals are for scraps. Not egg shells, baby carrots, and an occasional piece of plastic. Correct me if I'm wrong here, but I always thought of a garbage disposal as like the supreme destroyer. I'm sure everyone shares in the fear of sticking your hand down the drain to rescue a stray spoon... goose bumps just thinking about it. So I felt pretty safe in assuming that if a garbage disposal can "dispose" a human hand, it could probably handle something as frail as an egg shell. Or.. a bag of baby carrots. It can't.

My garbage disposal kicked the bucket last night while I was cleaning out my fridge. Found a half eaten bag of baby carrots, and didn't think twice. Probably a lesson that I missed during my Culinary education. Garbage Disposal 101 didn't seem like a necessity at the time. So after the shock washed off my brother's face after I told him what all I do, in fact, put down the drain, he told me these wise words...

"Garbage disposals are there to get rid of the scraps left on the plate. You scrape the leftovers into the trash, and whatever is left can go down the drain."

I am sending a letter to all garbage disposal companies, and requesting they change the name to a "scrap disposal" for all the Amelia Bedilias out there like me. I now refer to mine as "scrappy" just to remind myself that he is not capable of garbage.

Hope my actions can prevent any future disposals being disposed of.

Live on little scrappy, live on!

Welcome to the insanity that I call my life...

2008-09-07T22:51:00.000-07:00

I'm gonna be honest with you here. The idea of posting my life on the internet scares the hell out of me. Just the thought of some random person reading about my life makes the little hairs on my neck rise. And that's usually around the point where I realize.. I am one of those people. I have countless blogs bookmarked of people I've never even met. And as I'm periodically checking in on these strangers lives, I find myself saying "Wow, little Timmy is getting so big!" or "Ooh, I love what they've done with the place" and then I have to remind myself... I have no idea who these people are. So, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Right? And after some convincing (Thanks, Dede) and the realization that I better start documenting my life before I forget it, I am here. So I hope you enjoy.

So where the heck do I start?! I can honestly say there is never a dull moment in this crazy life of mine. Countless times throughout the day I question whether I'm being punk'd or my life is a movie set, like the Truman Show. There's days where I think I've walked straight outta the set of Grey's Anatomy with all the seriously's I say.. Seriously?? Seriously! I sometimes wish I had a reality show just for validation that I'm not crazy, and really, crazy things happen to me.

I wouldn't say that I'm clumsy or cursed, I just really think that God has a sense of humor and he knew that I was the type of person to laugh about it, when others would cry. I can't wait to look back on my life when I'm older and laugh till I pee in my Depends. Who wants to join me?

So my first entry isn't really a funny one, but its about something I experienced that I will never ever forget. And I think its worth sharing.

Today I went down to San Clemente with my best friend, Sol. We were just going to stroll along the shops, grab a bite, and just relax. We ended up having lunch at this restaurant on the pier and afterwards went to sunbathe for a bit. When we walked up to the sand there were all these tents set up and tons and tons of people crowded around them. We couldn't figure out what was going on. I thought surf competition.. and then Sol pointed out that no one was looking towards the water. Minor detail. Ha ha. So we found a spot and began the basking process, even though it wasn't all that sunny out. I was still curious what was up... I needed to know if all these cute surfer boys was a weekly occurrence. Mama wants grandkids after all. :)

Then I ran into a friend of mine that said it was a memorial for this guy who lost a battle with cancer. 22 years he'd been battling it. I'm not sure what type. Everyone was there to do one last "paddle out" for him. He was big in the surfing community there, judged surf competitions, made surfboards, etc.. So it was a final tribute for him. And then all of a sudden you see everyone getting ready to hit the waves.. It was crazy. Surfers coming out of the woodwork.. no joke, I swear there was like 200 people paddling out. And the entire pier was lined with people too. Young, old, male, female.. it was unbelievable! Me and Sol couldn't take our eyes off the whole thing. A lot of them were wearing these leis, and also taking flowers and rose petals to release into the waves. So the shore was sprinkled with petals. It was beautiful. And right when they all began to paddle out, the clouds broke and it totally warmed up. I had chills all over my body. The whole experience was so moving.

Once they were all out, they formed this huge circle, joined hands and just started chanting and yelling and splashing water in the air. It was a complete celebration of life for this man. I felt so honored to be a part of it. I have tears in my eyes and chills right now just thinking about it. Its so crazy to think that this man, everyone called him "Midget", probably had no clue how many people loved and cared for him. I wish I had the words to express the feelings I had being there. I've never had so many chills, and felt such a strong presence than being there on that beach today. I kept thinking about that Brad Paisley song, "When I get where I'm going"... It captured that moment perfectly.

"When I get where I'm going, there'll be only happy tears. I will shed the sins and struggles I have carried all these years. I'll leave my heart wide open. I will love and have no fear. Yeah, when I get where I'm going, don't cry for me down here.."

Midget's heart must be so full after what he witnessed from above. I know mine is. Even though I am terrified of sharks and the ocean, I want every one to know that I will be there to celebrate their final "paddle out". My friend offered me a board to join in and I said no. I'm still kicking myself for that one.

The paddle out. You can see the circle in the distance.

The rose petals washing up on the beach.